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Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio offer advice on being a smart chick-in-charge in their new book: The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss Without Being a Bitch. Yes, we can say that on morning television I've been told. Good morning. Thrill liberating. Good morning to both of you, nice to have you here.
Right. Those women need our book. Terrible.
Absolutely. Why is it that women when they get into a position of power when they become the boss or become leaders they tend to be viewed as the bitch?
Well, we think there's two reasons. The first is, it's really unfair that in the workplace people expect women to be emotionally there for them. It's all, you know, you would never take your personal problems to a male boss, but you, you do take them to a woman boss because women are nurturing just that's what women do.
You expect them to understand.
Exactly.
The issues with their kids or whatever.
Right, and the other thing is there haven't been any positive women role, I mean,( there haven't been. ) There are very few positive women role models out there. Especially look all the movies, they say you know, woman are just crazy lunatics when they get a little power and so we try to do in the book is show people how to do it a little bit better.
And we'll get to some of that in a minute but why, why are the roles so different, Caitlin, for men and women when they do become the boss?
Well, I think like Kim said(Kim, short for Kimberly), I think it really has to do with the lack of role models. I mean, when we were growing up and coming into the professional environment. We had really tough women bosses but they had learnt from men. So we think that women need to be able to manage, the way they are comfortable in managing.
What's number one, number one mistake women are making?
I think the number one mistake women are making is that they're, they're trying to do something the way that's not comfortable for them. You know, you, you really need to be firm and fair. You need to know what your employees need from you before you just sort of like set out these blanket things. The other thing is, I think, that if you are emotional once in a workplace, our favorite "Sex and the City" is when Charlotte cries, you know(And then she is the crier from then on)(Charlotte is a crier) She cried once in ten years. And that's what happens to women, you know, they get stuck with these bad raps and we think that, you know, what you need to do is really try to be as firm and fair as possible.
Is there no place for emotion than in a workplace?
Well, we don't think there is. (No) I mean we think that you can be yourself, which is, you know, kind and supportive, warm and giving, but not, you know, crying and screaming. (temptation) beating people, I mean, how many women did we interview for this book and they all said oh this woman screamed at me and threw something at me.
Wait, we have one crazy story that didn't make it into the book. A woman, a woman said that she was a publicist and she...the owner of company's assistant was gaining weight. So she brought a scale into work and put it in her office and said, oh I don't think that you've noticed how much weight you are gaining so I brought you this scale. I mean that figure is just nuts...
Wow,(that sounds crazy). so let's, let's talk about practical advice. How women can avoid some of these, beat these bad behaviors that will keep them from being labeled a bitch. First you say the bad boss behavior-insecurities rule. I mean do women when they become the boss, do they tend to not really feel it right way?
What kind of ....?
I think a lot of women are uncomfortable with leadership positions. I mean, men too, but I think that women in particular and that can bring insecurity.
Gender discrimination. Do, do women tend to favor men in a workplace?
Yeah, unfortunately, we think that there is definitely internalized sexism that goes on. I mean we come from publishing and even they, male assistants would get sort of more floor time during meetings. We think that we really want...
Why is that? I mean why can't women relate with their co-workers or if they're the boss and, and why can't they, you know, just give them the power they need?
Well, we are not sure why, but we think it'll change. You know, we think that with books like this, and with the fact that, you know, more women are in a workplace everyday that it will change because there's just, I mean, just by sheer numbers.
So, some keys to being a better manager, you say, provide clear vision, support your staff, be a mentor.
Absolutely. We, we really think it's...the, the women's responsibility when they are in leadership positions to be more mentor than manager.
We could talk about this all day because a lot of us have worked with women and they're just interested in how it starts.
Everybody has a story.
Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio, again, thanks so much for the great advice(thank you so much). And you can read an excerpt from The Girl's Guide to Being a Boss on our website at today.msnbc.com. |