老爸老妈发问 孩子不乖就该打屁股?(在线收听) |
According to reports about the Adrian Peterson felony abuse indictment, Peterson’s 4-year-old son pushed another of Peterson’s sons off a video game. Peterson then retrieved a tree branch — called a “switch” — stripped off its leaves, shoved leaves into the boy’s mouth and beat him with his pants down until he bled. 阿德里安·彼得森(Adrian Peterson)因为殴打孩子而被控以重罪,相关的新闻报道称,彼得森四岁的儿子把他的另一个儿子从游戏机前推开,之后彼得森拿来了一根树枝,他说是“细枝”,扯下了叶子、把叶子塞进儿子嘴里,又把儿子的裤子扒下来殴打,直到出血。
According to a CBS affiliate in Houston, Peterson texted the boy’s mother that she would be “mad at me about his legs. I got kinda good wit the tail end of the switch.”
CBS旗下的一家休斯顿当地媒体报道称,彼得森给这名男孩的妈妈发短信说,她会“因为孩子的腿跟我生气的。除了那根细枝,我真的没招儿了”。
He also reportedly texted that he “felt bad after the fact when I notice the switch was wrapping around hitting I (sic) thigh” and “Got him in nuts once I noticed. But I felt so bad, n I’m all tearing that butt up when needed! I start putting them in timeout. N save the whooping for needed memories!”
据报道,他还发短信说,“我感觉有些难受,因为我注意到树枝打到腿上时,裹着腿弯了过去”并且“打到了他蛋蛋上。可是我感觉太生气了,有必要的话,能把他屁股撕烂!我今后要把他们关起来,有必要让他们记住的时候,才会抽鞭子!”
老爸老妈发问 孩子不乖就该打屁股?
But the boy reportedly said, “Daddy Peterson hit me on my face,” that his father “likes belts and switches,” that “there are a lot of belts in Daddy’s closet,” and that he “has a whooping room.”
可是根据新闻报道,男孩说,“老爸彼得森打我的脸”,还说他的父亲“喜欢用腰带和树枝”,而且“老爸的柜子里有很多腰带”,他还“有一个抽鞭子的房间”。
Spanking is not against the law in America — although some argue that it should be, as it is in Sweden and some other countries — but, as with most things in life, there are degrees beyond which even something that is generally acceptable, or at least legal, crosses a threshold and becomes not so.
打屁股在美国并不违反法律,尽管有些人认为,应该像瑞典和其他国家一样,立法禁止。但就像生活中的许多事情一样,超过了一定限度,即使是通常可以接受的事情,或者说至少合法的事情,就会跨过门槛,变得不能接受。
This seems, on its face, from what we now know, a case in which the limits have most likely been exceeded.
根据我们目前所知的信息,这起案件从表面看来,就是一个超过了限度的例子。
Peterson released a statement that read, in part:
彼得森发布了一份声明,其中写道:
“I have to live with the fact that when I disciplined my son the way I was disciplined as a child, I caused an injury that I never intended or thought would happen. I know that many people disagree with the way I disciplined my child. I also understand after meeting with a psychologist that there are other alternative ways of disciplining a child that may be more appropriate.”
“我必须承认,我像自己小时候受惩戒那样惩戒自己的儿子时,造成了伤害,这不是我的本意,我也没有料到会发生这种情况。我知道许多人不认同我惩戒自己孩子的方式。在拜访了一名心理学家之后,我也理解了还有其他可能更妥当的方式来惩罚孩子。”
It is good that Peterson met with a psychologist and learned alternative disciplinary methods, but that doesn’t heal the child’s wounds, and the fact that Peterson may have been abused in this way does not make it acceptable to pass on the abuse to his own children.
彼得森去见了心理学家,还学到了惩戒孩子的新方法,这都很好。但这并不能弥合孩子的创伤,而且即使彼得森被这样虐待过,把这种虐待再传递给自己的孩子也是不可接受的。
He continued, setting up an even more dangerous proposition:
接着,他又提出了更加危险的看法:
“I have learned a lot and have had to re-evaluate how I discipline my son going forward. But deep in my heart I have always believed I could have been one of those kids that was lost in the streets without the discipline instilled in me by my parents and other relatives. I have always believed that the way my parents disciplined me has a great deal to do with the success I have enjoyed as a man. I love my son and I will continue to become a better parent and learn from any mistakes I ever make.”
“我学到了很多,而且被迫重新评估了我将来惩戒孩子的方式。但在我内心深处,我一直相信,如果不是我的父母和其他亲属在我身上注入的纪律性,我或许就会成为迷失在街头的那些孩子。我一直相信,我的父母惩戒我的方法,与我成人之后取得的成功有很大的关系。我爱我的儿子,会继续努力做一个更好的父亲,也会从我犯的错误中吸取教训。”
When we promulgate the notion that our success is directly measurable to the violence visited on our bodies as children, we reinforce a societal supposition that pain is an instrument of love, and establish a false binary between the streets and the strap.
当我们宣扬这样的观念,说我们在儿时经受过的暴力,是和自己的成功存在直接关联的,我们等于在强化一种社会臆想:痛苦是示爱的途径,从而建立街头和皮鞭这种错误的一一对应关系。
I take Peterson at his word that he loves his son, but the drawing of blood isn’t an expression of love. Love doesn’t look like that. That looks like an expression of anger and exasperation that morphs into abuse.
我就暂且相信彼得森说的话,即他是爱儿子的,但让他们流血不是爱意的表达。爱不是那样的。那看起来是在表达愤怒和懊恼,最终变异成虐待。
I understand the reasoning that undergirds much of this thinking about spanking: Better to feel the pain of being punished by someone in the home who loves you than by someone outside the home who doesn’t.
我明白在这种打屁股式责罚的背后是怎样的动机:在家里被爱你的人惩罚,感受其痛苦,总比在外面被不爱你的人惩罚要好。
But that logic simply doesn’t hold up.
但这个逻辑根本说不通。
As the nonpartisan research group Child Trends pointed out in a report last year:
无党派研究机构“孩子趋势”(Child Trends)在去年的一份报告中提出:
“Use of corporal punishment is linked to negative outcomes for children (e.g., delinquency, antisocial behavior, psychological problems, and alcohol and drug abuse), and may be indicative of ineffective parenting. Research also finds that the number of problem behaviors observed in adolescence is related to the amount of spanking a child receives. The greater the age of the child, the stronger the relationship.
“体罚的使用和孩子成长的负面结果存在关联(比如少年犯罪、反社会行为、心理问题、酒精和毒品滥用),可能表明了家长失职。研究还发现在青春期观察到的问题行为和受到责打的情况相关。孩子的年龄越大,这种关联越明显。
“Positive child outcomes are more likely when parents refrain from using spanking and other physical punishment, and instead discipline their children through communication that is firm, reasoned and nurturing. Studies find this type of discipline can foster positive psychological outcomes, such as high self-esteem and cooperation with others, as well as improved achievement in school.”
“当父母停止使用打屁股和其他体罚,转而通过坚决、有理和关爱的沟通加以管教时,更有可能出现正面的成长结果。研究发现这种类型的管教可以培育出正面的心理结果,比如更强的自尊心,愿意与他人协作,在学校的表现也有改善。”
The group also pointed out just how pervasive the practice is:
该机构还提到了体罚行为的普遍程度:
“In 2012, according to a nationally representative survey, 77 percent of men, and 65 percent of women 18 to 65 years old agreed that a child sometimes needs a ‘good hard spanking.’ ”
“据一项全国性调查显示,2012年,在18到65岁的人中,有77%的男性和65%的女性认为,有时候在孩子‘屁股上狠狠来几下’是有必要的。”
The group continued:
该机构接着说:
“One of the most frequently used strategies to discipline a child, especially a younger child, is spanking. About 94 percent of parents of children ages 3 to 4 in the United States report having spanked their children in the previous year.”
“在管教孩子的策略中,最常使用的是打屁股,尤其是针对较年幼的孩子。有约94%的美国3到4岁孩子父母曾在之前一年里打过孩子屁股。”
Spanking is an age-old disciplinary technique, so turning the tide against it may be difficult. Some people even argue that it’s a necessary tool in a parent’s arsenal of options.
打屁股是一种古老的管教手法,因此要扭转这种风气并非易事。有人甚至认为,作为父母有必要把这作为一种备选的手段。
I think we need to reconsider that.
我认为这事我们需要三思。
Peterson also texted the boy’s mother: “Never do I go overboard! But all my kids will know, hey daddy has the biggie heart but don’t play no games when it comes to acting right.” Actually, Peterson did go overboard, and now the legal system will decide if and how he will be punished for it.
彼得森还给孩子的妈妈发短信说:“我从来不会过头!但我的孩子都得知道,他们这个爹心宽,可在学做人的事上不是闹着玩的。”事实上彼得森是过头了,现在法律会决定他是否以及如何为此受到惩罚。 |
原文地址:http://www.tingroom.com/listen/read/317532.html |