住手，不许拿酒，酒是我的

Just serving cupcakes.

我只供应蛋糕

I've been listening in on Cashandra and her girlfriends' conversations,

我一直在偷听卡珊德拉和她的朋友说话

and I don't think she knows anything happened between you two.

我觉得她对你俩的事情完全不知情

I also learned she's a dancer, her lip gloss is from Kiehl's,

我还知道她是个舞者，她的唇膏用的契尔氏

and she's school chums with Adele.

她和爱黛儿还是舍友

Not the Adele.

不会是那个"爱黛儿"吧

Damn it! Could she be any cooler?

靠，她还能再牛点吗

I want her to be my girlfriend.

我想让她当我的女朋友

I wouldn't break up with her for me.

我一定不会为了我这种人而跟她分手

Hi. I'm here.

我来了

Great. I was hoping tonight would get weirder.

很好，我还盼着今晚能更糟点呢

I had no idea.

我完全不知情

She did it to surprise me.

她这么做是为了给我个惊喜

And she did-- I'm surprised.

她做了，我惊了

I am so sorry.

真的很抱歉

You have a girlfriend. Why are you kissing Max?

你都有女朋友了，干嘛还亲麦克斯

You told her?

你告诉她了

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

是啊，抱歉

Would the more subtle way be to paint a picture and hang it on the wall for all to see?

难道挂一张咱俩接吻的画像示众会更低调点吗

Are you insane?

你疯了吗

Could we have a moment, please?

我们俩能单独聊聊吗

Fine.

好吧

I'll be over there near the ice penis.

我会在冰雕阳具附近等

Look, I am so sorry.

听着，我很抱歉

If I had known Cash was going to ask you to do all of this, I would have told you.

如果我知道卡珊要请你们来干活，我肯定会事先告诉你

And why would you choose to hang that?

你为什么选择把这幅画挂出来

'Cause it's my favorite piece.

因为这是我最喜欢的一幅

Is there any way she could know what happened?

她有可能知道发生了什么吗

No.

不可能

Oh, my God. Your lips. Split up.

天啊，你的丰唇。分开分开

I can smell the sex from across the room.

我在另一头都能闻到你们的情欲味

No-whoa-whoa! I need all those.

不行，我得留着喝

So what? Is she still your girlfriend?

所以呢，她还是你的女朋友吗

Max, it's complicated.

麦克斯，这很复杂

What, are we on Facebook?

怎么了，我们现在是玩脸书吗

It is complicated.

这事就是很复杂

Cash and I have been together two years, and when--

我和卡珊已经在一起两年了

Two years?

两年了

Jeez, I'm a home wrecker.

天啊，我就个小三

Adele will probably write a song about me.

爱黛尔没准还会写首歌说我呢

You're not a homewrecker.

你不是小三

I am. Johnny!

我是！强尼

You've got some folks.

你的朋友来了

Circulate, Max, circulate.

走起，麦克斯，走起

That's it. This is over.

够了，咱俩结束了

That--us on the wall-- never happens again.

画上那种事，再也不会发生

I lied. I can't be your friend.

我撒谎了，我无法和你做朋友

I was trying to be cool, but I'm not cool.

我也想跟她一样酷，但我真不酷

I don't know Adele.

我可不认识爱黛儿

What just happened over there?

刚才你俩说什么了

Did he tell you he's breaking up with his girlfriend?

他是不是说要和女朋友分手了

No. What's wrong with you?

不，你是怎么回事

You haven't been right about anything?

每件事都判断失误

I told him we are done, and that's over, okay?

我告诉他我们玩完了，结束了，知道吗

They've been together two years.

人家都在一起都两年了

And I know one thing about me--

我这个人有个特点

I may pick the wrong guys,

或许我会选错人

but when I hear another woman is involved,

可只要事情演变成多角关系

I am done.

我立马走人

This is truly the end of my pattern.

我的套路真的到此为止