This is Richard and I am here with the next installment of our new series about Theo the Monkey. You may recall that in the previous story, a boy called Neet discovered a monkey in his garden. He fed him fruit. As the news was full of reports of monkeys carrying out crimes, he asked his kung fu teacher, Sifu Stan, what he should do. Sifu climbed up a tree and spoke to the monkey. He had a gut feeling that the animal was on the side of good so he invited him to come to a special kung fu class.

 

At ten to six Neet left his home wearing his white kung fu uniform with a green belt and one stripe. He walked over to the village hall where Sifu was opening the door.

 

“Have you seen the monkey?” asked Sifu.

 

“I think he’s coming on his own,” replied Neet.

 

While they waited, Neet practiced his kung fu routines known as Tao Lu. His kicks, turns and punches were all in a precise sequence. Sifu helped him adjust his poise and stance. At about twenty past six, Sifu said:

 

“Looks like our monkey friend is a no-show.” He took his mobile phone out of his kit bag. Neet thought it was an odd thing to do. The monkey was hardly likely to send Sifu a text saying: “Sorry, running a bit late today.” But looking at his phone was a habit in moments of uncertainty. He glanced at a news flash:

 

“City police recruit monkey task force. The Mayor says: “Let’s use monkey cops to fight monkey robbers.”

 

Sifu sighed and his usually serene eyes were just a little stressed.

 

“Are you sorry you trusted him?” asked Neet.

 

“No,” said Sifu. “It is never wrong to give someone a chance. Besides, there is a story about a monkey that I have loved ever since I was about your age, or even younger. In fact, it is what got me into kung fu in the first place. So you can see why I was intrigued by your friend.”

 

“Really?” asked Neet with enthusiasm. It was clear that he was keen to hear the story.

 

“I’ll tell you what,” said Sifu. “Let us sit down, and I will try to recall as much of the legend as I can while we wait.”

 

“Brilliant,” said Neet.

And this is the story that Sifu Stan related.

 

Long ago, on the island of Fruit and Flowers, a smooth stone shaped like an egg sat on the peak of the central mountain. One day the egg began to glow and then to wobble, and then to click, and at last to hatch. And out of its shell sprang a monkey. The monkey crawled around for while, and then stood up and bowed to the four spheres. Beams of light shone from his eyes and reached the heavens where the Jade Emperor holds his court.

A messenger said:

 

“Your Majesty, the Stone Monkey is born.”

 

And the Jade Emperor replied:

 

“Things that happen on earth are beneath us. Let them be.”

 

When the monkey had finished his bows, he scratched his head and his left armpit, before running down the mountainside in search of friends. He found other monkeys in the woods. They played all day and ate well. One day they were splashing in the river by a waterfall. The monkey who had been born from a stone walked through the wall of tumbling water and found, inside the rock, an entire palace. He called to the other monkeys to follow him. They ran inside, knocking over chairs and throwing golden bowls around like balls.

 

“Hey you lot,” called out the Stone Monkey. “If you are going to live in my palace, you have to learn to behave. Now tidy up those things right now or get out!”

 

And from that day on, he became their leader. He had many titles. His least favourite was ‘The Stone Monkey’ and if you called him this, he became angry. The one he chose for himself was ‘The Handsome Monkey King,’ and if you called him that, you would find favour with him.

 

After he had ruled for 400 years the Monkey King was still enjoying life, and wanted his fun to go on and on forever. He wondered how he could become immortal like the gods. A wise monkey, who was even older than he was, advised him to leave the island and go in search for his own Sifu who could set him on the path to immortality.

 

The Monkey King sailed the seas on a raft made from palm trees and then travelled overland until he came to the mountain of Heart and Mind. Here, in the divine cave of Three Stars, he met his Sifu, The Supreme Subodhi. For ten years he served the master, meditating, chanting mantras, practicing kung fu, and studying the scriptures. He learned to change his shape and size into 72 different forms, such as a tree, a bird, a tiger, or a mosquito. He learned how to jump through the skies from cloud to cloud, travelling 108,000 miles in a single leap. And he learned to breath in the same way that the immortals do. But the monkey could not help being a monkey, and he liked to show off his magical skills to his classmates and brag that he was better than all the rest. Eventually Subodhi grew angry with all his tricks which caused him to banish the monkey from the cave.

 

As he leapt across the clouds, he was on the lookout for a weapon worthy of his powers. He looked down and saw the Dragon King of the Eastern Sea measuring the depth of the ocean with a giant rod. The Monkey King recognised it as the weapon he had always wanted, and dived down into the water. Far beneath the waves he entered the Dragon King’s palace, where he asked the ruler of the Eastern Sea for the gift of a celestial weapon.

 

“A monkey like you won’t be able to pick it up!” laughed the king. But the monkey lifted the giant rod with ease, and began to play with it.

 

“What kind of monkey is this?” thought the Dragon King.

 

“Let me have your suit of golden armor,” demanded the monkey. And although the suit had magical powers, and was a prized possession, the Dragon King granted the gift because he was afraid of his strange and powerful visitor.

 

The Monkey King kept the iron rod behind his ear, for he used his magical powers to shrink it to the size of a needle. But when he needed the weapon it grew into an enormous size. At last he had the force that he wanted.

 

He returned to the island of Fruit and Flowers where he declared:

“The laws of Heaven and Earth no longer apply to me.”

 

But after he fell asleep, he felt giant chains wrapping around him and dragging him down into the underworld.

 

“But I’m not meant to die. I’m immortal!” screamed the Monkey King. When he reached the land of the dead, and came before the king of that dark and dreary place, custom held that he should bow down and be humble. But was having none of that. Instead, he brought out his weapon and put on a demonstration of his kung fu skills. He flew through the air and spun his giant weapon at great speed. The King of the Underworld was afraid, and decided to release him. Before leaving, the monkey thumbed through the Book of the Living and Dead and crossed out his own name and those of the monkeys on his island, making sure that they became immortal.

 

These deeds brought the monkey fame, but they also made him enemies. The Dragon King of the Eastern Seas and the King of the Underworld travelled to the heavenly court of the Jade Emperor to complain of the monkey’s arrogant behaviour. The Emperor consulted with his advisers and decided to invite the monkey to Heaven to serve at court, where they could keep an eye on him. At first The Monkey King accepted the invitation as an honour, but when he discovered that his title at court was ‘Keeper of the Emperor’s Stables’, he was insulted.

 

“So ‘The Handsome Monkey King’ has become a stable boy!” he declared. “Is this your idea of a promotion?” And to show his fury, he kicked up a whole heap of trouble in Heaven. He set free the cloud horses, stole the Emperor’s celestial wine, ate the pills of longevity, and picked the peaches of immortality, before returning to his home where he awarded himself a new title, ‘The Great Sage Equal of Heaven.’ Comparing himself to Heaven was arrogant. It was like a declaration of war. The Jade Emperor sent a celestial army to invade The Island of Fruit and Flowers but the Monkey King repelled the heavenly warriors without even calling on his monkey followers for help.

 

Next the Jade Emperor employed the most powerful buddhist and taoist monks to use the force of meditation. Their combined concentration of mindfulness overcame the monkey. They placed the captive in a cauldron with the aim of distilling his body down and recovering the pills of longevity. After 49 days they unceiled the cauldron and out lept the monkey unharmed, in fact stronger, although from that day on his eyes were extra sensitive to smoke.

 

Now the monkey was more angry and more powerful than ever. He kicked over the cauldron, ran amok, and wreaked havoc across Heaven. At last the Emperor begged the Buddha himself to use his infinite powers to tame the troublemaker. The Buddha bet the monkey that he would not be able to jump out of the palm of his hand. As the monkey was used to covering 120,000 miles in one leap, he thought that he would win the bet easily. He accepted the challenge and sprang into the Buddha’s palm. Then he took a great leap toward the five pillars at the end of the world. He arrived in a trice only to discover that the pillars were in fact the fingers of the Buddha’s hand. He was trapped.

 

The monkey spent 500 years imprisoned under a mountain. But there came a time when a buddhist monk was travelling to India to recover the Sutra or Sacred texts and thus to release countless souls from the Underworld. It was a dangerous journey and he needed protection from demons who would attack him on the way. The Buddha released the Monkey King but made him wear a helmet which would cause him immense pain if he misbehaved, and the monkey set out on the great journey to the west with the monk, fighting all manner of ghosts and monsters on the way.

 

“But that,” said Sifu Stan, “is a story for another day.”

 

Theo was now 50 minutes late for the lesson. “I suppose it was silly to expect a monkey to be reliable.”

Neet asked: “ Sifu, would you say that the Monkey King in your story was a hero or a villain?”

 

“I never saw him as a villain,” said Sifu. “But it is true that he wasn’t very good at doing what he was told. Perhaps he is neither good or bad, but he is a free spirit that stops the world being too ordered, and makes life interesting.”

 

Neet nodded, though he would have preferred a straight answer as to whether he was good or bad.

 

Sifu again flicked over the headlines on his phone. Monkeys were still all over the news and events were moving swiftly. He read:

 

“Animal Brawl breaks out at Mayor’s monkey ceremony.”

 

And:

 

“Police monkeys in punch-up with criminals. ”

 

And more simply:

 

“Theo Returns – With a Vengeance!”

 

Sifu tapped the screen of his phone: “So that’s where he is,” he said, and he showed it to Neet.

 

The photographer had caught the monkey’s face with his mouth wide open as he bared his teeth. He looked like a scary beast. But there was no mistaking who he was. That was the monkey who was living in their woods. He was the monkey they had been waiting for. And he was the monkey who was top of the police’s most wanted list.

 

“Well, there is not much point in waiting here any longer,” said Sifu. “Now we know he is up in the city causing trouble.”

 

He put his coat on over his kung fu uniform and headed for the door of the village hall. Neet followed him.

 

“Sifu,” said Neet. “Do you still want to teach the monkey kung fu?”

 

“It does not seem like such a good idea any more, does it,” replied Sifu, with a look of annoyance, probably at himself more than anyone else.

 

And Neet went home wondering if the monkey would be sitting on the fence of his garden the next morning expecting a fruit breakfast, and he also pondered if he should give it to him.

 

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