The Right Way to Eat an Ice-cream Cone（在线收听）

     Grasp the ¹⁾cone with the right hand firmly but gently between thumb and at least one but not more than three fingers, two-thirds of the way up the cone. Then ²⁾dart swiftly away to an open area, away from the ³⁾jostling crowd at the ⁴⁾stand. Now ⁵⁾take up the classic ice-cream-cone-eating ⁶⁾stance: feet from one to two feet apart, body bent forward from the waist at a twenty-five-degree angle, right ⁷⁾elbow well up, right ⁸⁾forearm ⁹⁾horizontal, at a level with your collarbone and about twelve inches from it.

     But don’t start eating yet! Check first to see what emergency repairs may be necessary. Sometimes a sugar cone will be so ¹⁰⁾crushed or broken or ¹¹⁾cracked that all one can do is ¹²⁾gulp at the thing like a savage, getting what he can of it and letting the rest drop to the ground, and then ¹³⁾evacuating the area of ¹⁴⁾catastrophe as quickly as possible.

     Checking the cone for possible trouble can be done in a second or two, if one knows where to look and does it ¹⁵⁾systematically. A trouble spot some people ¹⁶⁾overlook is the bottom tip of the cone. This may have been ¹⁷⁾broken off. Or the flap of the cone material at the bottom, usually wrapped over itself in that funny ¹⁸⁾spiral construction, may be folded in a way that is imperfect and leaves an opening. No need to say that through this ¹⁹⁾opening-in a matter of perhaps thirty or, at most, ninety seconds-will begin to pour hundreds of thousands of sticky ²⁰⁾molecules of melted ice cream.

     You know in this case then you must instantly get the paper napkin in your left hand under and around the bottom of the cone to ²¹⁾stem the ²²⁾forthcoming flow, or else be ²³⁾doomed to eat the cone far too rapidly. It is a ²⁴⁾grim moment. No one wants to eat a cone under that kind of pressure, but neither does anyone want to end up with the bottom of the cone stuck to a messy napkin.

     There’s one other alternative-one that takes both skill and courage: ²⁵⁾Forgoing any cradling action, grasp the cone more firmly between thumb and forefinger and extend the other fingers so that they are out of the way of the dripping from the bottom, then increase the waist-bend angle from twenty-five to thirty-five degrees, and then eat the cone, allowing it to drip out of the bottom onto the ground in front of you! Experienced and thoughtful cone-eaters enjoy facing up to this kind of sudden challenge.CE