"Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don't we?" “即使是我们中最坚强的人也会旧瘾复发，不是吗？”

"What are you asking? My permission?" “你在询问什么？我的许可吗？”

My voice was sharper than I'd intended. 我的声音比我本来计划的还要尖锐。

I tried to make my tone kinder—I could guess what his honesty must cost him. 我试图让自己的语气更友好些——我能猜得出来，他的诚实一定折磨着他。

"I mean, is there no hope, then?" How calmly I could discuss my own death! “我是指，已经没有希望了，对吧？”我居然能如此冷静地谈论自己的死亡！

"No, no!" He was instantly contrite. “不，不！”他立刻懊悔不已。

"Of course there's hope! I mean, of course I won't..." “当然有希望！，我是说，我当然不会……”

He left the sentence hanging. His eyes burned into mine. 他把那个没说完的句子晾在了一旁。他的目光灼烧着我的眼睛。

"It's different for us. “这对我们来说不一样。

Emmett... these were strangers he happened across. 艾美特……那两个只是他偶然遇到的陌生人。

It was a long time ago, and he wasn't as... practiced, as careful, as he is now." 那已经是很久以前的事了，那时他还不够……不能够像现在这样那么有经验，那么谨慎。”

He fell silent and watched me intently as I thought it through. 他陷入了沉默，专注地看着我。我思考着，然后得出了结论。

"So if we'd met... oh, in a dark alley or something..." I trailed off. “所以如果我们的初见是在……哦，在一条黑暗的小路上，或者别的什么地方……”我的声音渐渐低了下来。

"It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of children and—" “我竭尽全力克制自己，才没有在那间坐满了孩子的教室正中间跳起来——”

He stopped abruptly, looking away. 他突兀地停下来，看向别处。

"When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. “当你从我身旁走过时，我差点就要毁掉了卡莱尔为我们苦心筑造的一切，就在那一刻，就在那里。

If I hadn't been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself." 要不是我最终克制住了自己的渴望，好吧，要不是那么多年来我都克制着，我肯定无法阻止自己。”

He paused, scowling at the trees. 他停下来，阴沉着脸注视着那些树。

He glanced at me grimly, both of us remembering. "You must have thought I was possessed." 他冷酷地看了我一眼，我们都在回想着。“你那时一定认为我疯了。