bellybutton n. 肚脐

rudely adv. 粗暴的，无理的

Crab Rangoon 炸蟹角

entree n. 主菜

sneezing n. / v. 打喷嚏

proper response 得体的回复/回话

What is the proper response to…

对xxx事情的得体回复/回话

第一发：

Told my son that his bellybutton was a reset button; if he was behaving rudely, I'd push it so he'd have to start as a baby again.

我告诉我儿子，他的肚脐是个重启键，如果他有不礼貌的举动，我就按下这个键，让他从新变成一个小孩，重新开始长大。

第二发：

Sometimes when I order Chinese I'll say, "One sec... What did you want?" And order myself a second entree and some Crab Rangoon.

有时候，我订中餐的时候，我会说：“哎，等等看，（假装还有另外一个人）你有点什么？” 然后给自己点第二份主食，还有一些炸蟹角。

第三发：

While working in Spain I told my Spanish roommate that the proper English response to someone sneezing is "up yours”.

当我在西班牙工作的时候，我告诉我的西班牙室友，当别人打喷嚏的时候，正确的英文回复是：“去你的”

第四发：

Told my mom I was having dinner with friends, but I was actually going to see 50 Shades of Grey. She was in the same theater.

告诉我妈，我要和朋友吃饭，不过实际上我是去看五十度灰。碰到我妈也在同一个电影院。