We keep them safe and sound and fed and watered, and then we want to be sure they go to the right schools, 我们确保他们安全、健康、吃好、喝好，然后期望他们进入好学校，

but not that, they're in the right classes at the right schools,  并且是好学校的好班级，

and that they get the right grades in the right classes in the right schools.  在好学校好班级中还要取得好成绩。

But not just the grades, the scores, and not just the grades and scores,  并且不只是成绩，还要拿高分，不只要好成绩和高分，

but the accolades and the awards and the sports, the activities, the leadership.  还要获得荣誉和奖项，要参加运动、活动、还要有领导力。

We tell our kids, don't just join a club, start a club, because colleges want to see that.  我们告诉孩子，不要只是参加社团，还要创建社团，因为大学喜欢这样的学生。

And check the box for community service. I mean, show the colleges you care about others. 还要参加社区服务。我的意思是，要让大学看到你会关心他人。

And all of this is done to some hoped-for degree of perfection. 这些都是期望中的完美。

We expect our kids to perform at a level of perfection we were never asked to perform at ourselves,  我们期望我们的孩子能做到完美，而我们自己却从没做到过，

and so because so much is required, we think, well then,  因为有这么多要求，我们就想，

of course we parents have to argue with every teacher and principal and coach and referee 我们做父母的得和每个老师沟通，和校长、教练、推荐人沟通，

and act like our kid's concierge and personal handler and secretary. 搞的像是孩子的管家，像私人管家，像秘书。

And then with our kids, our precious kids, we spend so much time nudging,  然后对孩子，我们宝贵的孩子，我们要花心思来督促、

cajoling, hinting, helping, haggling, nagging as the case may be, to be sure they're not screwing up,  哄骗、暗示、帮忙、唠叨、甚至讨价还价，确保他们不会在顶尖大学申请这件事上搞砸，

not closing doors, not ruining their future, some hoped-for admission to a tiny handful of colleges that deny almost every applicant. 或者故步自封，或者毁了自己的未来，即使那些大学在招生时几乎是万里挑一。