we deprive our kids of the chance to build self-efficacy, which is a really fundamental tenet of the human psyche,  我们剥夺了孩子建立自我能效的机会，自我能效是人类心智的重要准则，

far more important than that self-esteem they get every time we applaud.  远比通过父母赞美建立起的自尊更重要。

Self-efficacy is built when one sees that one's own actions lead to outcomes, not -- There you go. 自我能效是当一个人看到自己的行动能产生成果而建立起来的，而不是...你们先吧。

Not one's parents' actions on one's behalf, but when one's own actions lead to outcomes. 而不是父母代表他们做出的行动，是他们自己的行动能产生结果。

So simply put, if our children are to develop self-efficacy, and they must,  简而言之，如果我们的孩子要建立，他们也必须建立自我能效，

then they have to do a whole lot more of the thinking,  就需要更多的为他们自己的人生做更多思考、

planning, deciding, doing, hoping, coping, trial and error, dreaming and experiencing of life for themselves. 规划、决定、行动、期望、应对、试验、犯错、梦想以及体验。

Now, am I saying every kid is hard-working and motivated and doesn't need a parent's involvement or interest in their lives, 我现在是不是在说，每个孩子都很努力，都很积极，都不需要对他们的人生有干涉和关心，

and we should just back off and let go? Hell no. 我们应该退后，任其发展呢？当然不是。

That is not what I'm saying.  这不是我想说的。

What I'm saying is, when we treat grades and scores and accolades and awards as the purpose of childhood,  我想说的是，当我们把成绩、分数、荣誉和奖励看做他们童年的奋斗目标，

all in furtherance of some hoped-for admission to a tiny number of colleges or entrance to a small number of careers,  当我们代孩子去追求进入理想中的大学，找到理想的工作，

that that's too narrow a definition of success for our kids. 这种对于成功的定义太过狭隘。