TED演讲 :生命中最惨痛的时刻如何造就我们(7)（打印版）

Gay rights are not primarily marriage rights, 同性恋权益不主要是婚姻权益，

and for the millions who live in unaccepting places 而对数以百万生活在不包容

with no resources, 和缺少资源地方的人们，

dignity remains elusive. 尊严是可望而不可及的。

I am lucky to have forged meaning 我很幸运，能够铸造意义

and built identity, 和建造身份，

but that's still a rare privilege, 但这是少有的特权，

and gay people deserve more collectively 同性恋者群体应得到的

than the crumbs of justice. 不只是一点点的正义。

And yet, every step forward 然而，每点进步

is so sweet. 都是甜蜜的。

In 2007, six years after we met, 在2007年，在我和我的伴侣

my partner and I decided 相识六年后，

to get married. 我们决定结婚。

Meeting John had been the discovery 遇见约翰让我找到了

of great happiness 巨大的快乐，

and also the elimination of great unhappiness, 也去除了庞大的不快乐，

and sometimes, I was so occupied 有时候，我太在乎着

with the disappearance of all that pain 痛苦的消失，

that I forgot about the joy, 而忘了喜悦，

which was at first the less remarkable part of it to me. 它一开始并不是那么的起眼。

Marrying was a way to declare our love 婚姻是我们宣扬我们爱的存在

as more a presence than an absence. 而不是缺憾。

Marriage soon led us to children, 婚姻很快把我们引导向孩子，

and that meant new meanings 而这意味着新的意义

and new identities, ours and theirs. 和新的身份，我们的和他们的。

I want my children to be happy, 我要我的孩子们开心，

and I love them most achingly when they are sad. 在他们伤心时，我最疼他们。

As a gay father, I can teach them 作为一名同性恋的父亲，我可以教导他们

to own what is wrong in their lives, 去理解他们生命中的错误，

but I believe that if I succeed 但我相信如果我成功地

in sheltering them from adversity, 让他们远离逆境，

I will have failed as a parent. 那我身为父亲是失败的。

A Buddhist scholar I know once explained to me 我认识的一位佛教学者曾向我解释

that Westerners mistakenly think 西方人错误地认为

that nirvana is what arrives 涅磐降临在所有疾苦消逝

when all your woe is behind you 只剩下

and you have only bliss to look forward to. 幸福在眼前的时候。

But he said that would not be nirvana, 但他说这不是涅磐，

because your bliss in the present 因为你现今的幸福

would always be shadowed by the joy from the past. 总会被以前的喜悦掩盖。

Nirvana, he said, is what you arrive at 以他来看，涅磐的降临，

when you have only bliss to look forward to 是当你眼前只有幸福，

and find in what looked like sorrows 而在看起来像是悲伤里

the seedlings of your joy. 也能找到喜悦的种子。