TED演讲 自杀者的生死之桥(2)(在线收听) |
Well one day, curiosity got the better of Pandora,and she did open the box. 终于有一天,好奇心战胜了潘多拉,她真的打开了盒子。 Out flew plagues, sorrows,and all sorts of evils against man. 飞出了瘟疫、悲伤,以及对人类有害的种种坏事。
The only good thing in the box was hope. 盒内唯一的好东西只有希望。
Jason then asked us,What happens when you open the box and hope isn't there? 然后杰森问我们,当你打开盒子,却没有希望,会发生什么?
He paused a few moments, 他停顿了一会儿,
leaned to his right,and was gone. 向他的右方倒下,不见了。
This kind, intelligent young man from New Jersey had just committed suicide. 这位来自新泽西的善良,聪明的年轻人就这样自杀了。
I spoke with Jason's parents that evening, 那天晚上我与杰森父母谈话,
and I suppose that, when I was speaking with them, 我感觉,我和他们谈话时,
that I didn't sound as if I was doing very well, 我的声音听起来好像是我状态不好,
because that very next day, 因为就在后一天,
their family rabbi called to check on me. 他们家的拉比打电话过来问我怎么样。
Jason's parents had asked him to do so. 杰森的父母要他打的电话。
The collateral damage of suicide affects so many people. 自杀带来的间接伤害影响着如此多的人。
I pose these questions to you: 我向你们提出这些问题:
What would you do if your family member, 如果你们的家人、朋友或爱人要自杀,
friend or loved one was suicidal? 你们会怎么办?
What would you say? 你们会说什么?
Would you know what to say? 你知道要说什么吗?
In my experience, it's not just the talking that you do, 据我的经验,要做的不仅仅是说,
but the listening. 而是听。
Listen to understand. 通过倾听去理解,
Don't argue, blame, 不要争辨、责备,
or tell the person you know how they feel, 或是告诉那个人你知道他的感受,
because you probably don't. 因为你很可能并不知道。
By just being there, 只要你在那里,
you may just be the turning point that they need. 你可能就是他们所需的那个转折点。
If you think someone is suicidal, 如果你认为有人想自杀,
don't be afraid to confront them and ask the question. 不要害怕面对他们,别怕提问题。
One way of asking them the question is like this: 提问的方法有许多,可以是这样:
Others in similar circumstances have thought about ending their life; 别人处在类似的境况下,会考虑结束自己的生命;
have you had these thoughts? 你有这样想过吗?
Confronting the person head-on may just save their life and be the turning point for them. 与这个人正面相对可能正好挽救了他的生命,从而成为了他的转折点。
Some other signs to look for: 有一些其他的迹象值得留意:
hopelessness, believing that things are terrible and never going to get better; 绝望,认为一切都很可怕,永远不会好转;
helplessness, believing that there is nothing that you can do about it; 无助,认为没有任何办法可以进行改变;
recent social withdrawal; 近来回避人际交往;
and a loss of interest in life. 以及对生活失去兴趣。
I came up with this talk just a couple of days ago, 就在几天前我有过一次谈话,
and I received an email from a lady that I'd like to read you her letter. 我收到一位女士的一封电子邮件,我想给大家读读她的信。
She lost her son on January 19 of this year, 她在今年1月19日失去了儿子,
and she wrote this me this email just a couple of days ago, 然后她给我写了这封邮件,就在几天前,
and it's with her permission and blessing that I read this to you. 她给了我许可和祝福,让我为大家读一下。
Hi, Kevin. I imagine you're at the TED Conference. 嗨,凯文。我猜想你在TED大会上了。
That must be quite the experience to be there. 能在那里想必是次难得的经历吧。
I'm thinking I should go walk the bridge this weekend. 我在想我应该这个周末去大桥上走一走。
Just wanted to drop you a note. 只是想给你留个言。
Hope you get the word out to many people and they go home talking about it to their friends who tell their friends, etc. 希望你能把话带给许多人,然后他们回家会把这事说给朋友们,朋友们也会讲给他们的朋友,等等。
I'm still pretty numb, 我还是感觉很木,
but noticing more moments of really realizing Mike isn't coming home. 而更多的时候会真正意识到麦克没有回家。
Mike was driving from Petaluma to San Francisco to watch the 49ers game with his father on January 19. 麦克是从佩塔卢马开车到旧金山,来和父亲看49人队的比赛,就在1月19日。
He never made it there. 他永远没有到达。
I called Petaluma police and reported him missing that evening. 我打电话给佩塔卢马警察局,报告麦克在那天晚上失踪了。
The next morning, 第二天早上,
two officers came to my home and reported that Mike's car was down at the bridge. 两个警官来到了我家,说麦克的车掉在了桥下。 |
原文地址:http://www.tingroom.com/lesson/TEDyj/ylp/452658.html |