艾伦脱口秀第112期:愚人节（打印版）

　　You have to admit, Ellen.It took a lot of balls to pull off this prat. 你得承认艾伦为了整这出真要不少乒乓球

　　I was gonna say that.And, uh... Oh my God. 我正要说这个呃天啊

　　Don't I have security around here? 这都没保安吗

　　How did this happen? How in the world. 怎么会有这种事儿到底怎么...

　　Can I just end by telling you the obvious? 我能告诉你一件显而易见的事吗

　　What's that?I adore you.I adore you too, but now it's on, 什么我欣赏你我也欣赏你不过现在要开战了

　　Before these funny games, it was jokes, 之前都只是玩玩都是些玩笑

　　But now,it is on, Lauer.Alright. 不过现在劳尔我跟你杠上了好吧

　　Alright, you got me and you got me good.Not. 好吧被你整了还整得挺惨才怪

　　You call that prank Lauer?For shock. 你这就叫整蛊了吗劳尔真让人震惊

　　All I'm gonna say is,I barely even wasn't trying before. 我要说的是我之前都还没放大招

　　Now April Fool's Day is right around the corner, 4月1号愚人节马上就要到了

　　So as April second,April third, April fourth. 然后就是4月2号 4月3号 4号

　　Alright, anyway, I'm gonna get you. 好了不管怎么样我会整你的

　　I will. I have a...I'm gonna move on. 我会的我想到个... 先继续录节目

　　One more important thing I have to talk about is Classic Joke Friday. 还有一个更重要的环节接下来要说的是"周五经典笑话"

　　Okay, are you ready,everybody.It's a good one I think. 大家准备好了吗我觉得这个很经典

　　Why did the bird go to hospital?Why did the bird go to hospital? 鸟为什么去医院鸟为什么去医院

　　Because he needed a "tweetment". 因为它要"吱疗"