And I'm happy to be back,doing what I love doing with the people I love doing it to  很高兴能够回来 对我喜欢的人做我喜欢做的事

　　So,thank you for letting me do what I do to you 谢谢你们让我继续做我对你们做的事

　　In case you missed our premiere show,I didn't fly my audience to Australia 可能你错过了我们的首映秀 我没有把我的观众都送去澳大利亚

　　But,thanks to Ashton Kutcher,we all got to see the land down under 但是 得谢谢Ashton Kutcher 我们都见识到了下面的世界

　　People have been asking if Ashton was actually naked,he was wearing a nude color sock 有人怀疑Ashton是不是真的全裸了 好吧 其实他穿着一只肤色的袜子

　　Unfortunately it was on his foot.that's where the sock was 但不幸的是 他穿在了脚上 是的 袜子在脚上

　　And that was not the only scary thing that happened to me on saturday 但这并不是上周六发生的唯一一件吓人的事

　　Listen to this,I'm not kidding around,I got struck by lightning 听我说 我可没开玩笑 我被雷击中了

　　Well I didn't,but my house did.But still scary 确切的说不是我 是我的房子 但是仍然很吓人吧

　　I don't know if you live here in Los Angeles,any of you,but there's a warning,I was watching TV 我不知道你们当中有没有人住在洛杉矶 当时有警报 我正在看电视

　　and I heard the beeps.At first I thought wow Judge Judith swears a lot because 然后就听到了哔哔声 刚开始我还在想 朱迪法官可真爱飚脏话

　　And then it turns out the beeps were those emergency alerts 后来才发现哔哔声原来是紧急警报

　　and warning that thunderstorms were in Los Angeles and I've only seen the emergency alert in Los Angeles only once before 暴风雨要来了 在洛杉矶我只见过一次紧急警报

　　And it was a serious emergency,It was Jamba Juice who was out of wheatgrass 那可是非常严重的紧急情况 是他们在用小麦草做然巴果汁时发出的声音