"Having it all." Perhaps the greatest trap ever set for women was the coining of this phrase. “拥有一切”也许是女人遭遇的最大陷阱。

Bandied about in speeches, headlines, and articles, 在各类交谈中、报纸头条和文章里，人们总是很随意地提到这句话。

these three little words are intended to be aspirational but instead make all of us feel like we have fallen short. 这几个简单的词原本是想表现女人的理想状态，却让我们力不从心。

I have never met a woman, or man, who has stated emphatically, "Yes, I have it all." 我从没见过一个女人或男人敢断言：“是的，我什么都有了。”

Because no matter what any of us has—and how grateful we are for what we have—no one has it all. 因为不管我们拥有什么（不管我们对自己所拥有的一切多么感恩），没有一个人能够拥有他想要的一切。

Nor can we. The very concept of having it all flies in the face of the basic laws of economics and common sense. 我们也无法拥有一切，“拥有一切”这个概念公然地违背了经济学的基本定律与常识。

As Sharon Poczter, professor of economics at Cornell, explains, 康奈尔大学的经济学教授莎伦·波兹特对此解释说：

"The antiquated rhetoric of 'having it all' disregards the basis of every economic relationship: the idea of trade-offs. “‘拥有一切’这种已经过时的说法忽视了各种经济关系的基础——即‘交换’的概念。

All of us are dealing with the constrained optimization that is life, 我们所有人都在进行人生的‘约束优化’，

attempting to maximize our utility based on parameters like career, kids, relationships, etc., doing our best to allocate the resource of time. 试图在事业、孩子、关系等要素的基础上把自己的效用最大化，竭尽全力去合理分配自己的时间资源。

Due to the scarcity of this resource, therefore, none of us can 'have it all,' and those who claim to are most likely lying." 由于资源的稀缺，没有人能‘拥有一切’。如果非要有人这么说，那么他很可能是在撒谎。”

"Having it all" is best regarded as a myth. “拥有一切”最多被看成是一个神话。

And like many myths, it can deliver a helpful cautionary message. 就像很多神话一样，它可以传递出有警示作用的讯息。