Please give it up for Mr. Darius the hilarious. 大家请掌声欢迎，笑星达叔。

All right. How's everybody doing tonight? 台下的观众今晚好吗？

Who out there has a smart car? 台下的观众有人开斯玛特吗？

Because I don't think it's smart to drive a half a car. You gotta laugh. 开"半台车"在街上溜达，车主肯定不聪明。这不笑不行啊。

Oh, no. I ran out of fake laughter. 惨了，我逼真的假笑用完了。

Yeah, I mean, smart car. Have you seen this thing? 拜托哦，斯玛特。你们看过这种车吗？

It's like you driving around in a backpack. You gotta laugh. 这车就像个背包一样的大小。这不笑不行啊。

Do we? Why don't we have a smart car write some jokes for you? 是咩？你叫斯玛特帮你编段子可能还好笑些。

Yeah, well, I can see why you would defend the smart car. 你替斯玛特辩护我也能理解啦。

It's the only car your feet can reach the pedals in. 只有这种车你的小短腿才够得着踏板。

Yeah, but that's so true. He's very short! 说得好对啊，他真的很矮！

As is the car. It all lines up. 车也矮小，非常合理啊。

Look at this gray-haired scrub, man. Apparently black do crack. 大家快看这个灰发老鬼。原来黑人还会显老。

Hey, Don Kng called. Said he want his whole head back. 唐金都打电话来了。叫你把他的头还给他。

Max, look. Look how proud Earl is. 麦克斯，你看，厄尔好以儿为傲。

Hey, hey, hey, blondie. You mind not talking until I finish? 喂喂，金发妞。能等我表演完了再说话吗？

Wait, a minute. You're probably just thinking, "Oh, my god. Shoes, shoes, hairbrush, shoes." 等等，估计你脑子里也只在想着，"我的老天，美鞋，美鞋，梳子，美鞋"。

Oh, my God. I actually was thinking about shoes! 我的老天啊。我刚的确是在想美鞋呢！

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