I could go for a drink. 可以去喝一杯

Aw. Drinking in the afternoon, just like her mommy. 哇哦，下午酗酒，你母亲的作风

Let me guess. 让我猜猜

You like Star Wars. 你喜欢《星球大战》

You know, I've been in other movies. 知道吗，我还演过其他电影

But you don't care about those, do you? 但那些你都不在乎，是吧?

I have one thing to say to people like you... I like Star Wars, too! 对于你这类人我只有一句相送，我也喜欢《星球大战》

Care to join me? Oh... thank you. 不介意陪陪我吧?谢谢

My friend Leonard said if I bothered you while you were eating, you'd think I was a creepy stalker. 我朋友莱纳德说如果我打扰你用餐，你会视我为变态跟踪狂

Well... your friend Leonard sounds like a real weenie. 额...你这位莱纳德朋友很窝囊

He is, Mr. Earl Jones, he is. 没错，厄尔·琼斯先生，他就是

Okay, so, I'm on a Comic-Con message board, 我再看动漫大会的留言板

and there's a post from a guy where he says he got caught using someone else's badge... 上面有一则留言，说他因为盗用别人的入场牌被抓

and Sheldon was right-- he did get charged with petty theft. 谢尔顿是对的，这就是小偷小摸的下场

Guys... if I go to jail dressed as the Human Torch, that might send the wrong message. 兄弟们，如果我扮成霹雳火(神奇四侠之一)入狱，那可就完蛋了

Maybe this isn't a good idea. 估计这不是个好办法

I can text the guy and tell him we changed our minds. Do it. 我可以给对方发短信说我们改主意了。发吧

Okay. We're officially not going to Comic-Con. 发咯，那我们的动漫大会之旅正式终结

Hold on. We always do this. 等等，我们总是这么怂

Do what? Chicken out. We're-we're so afraid of getting into trouble that we never do anything wrong. 怎么怂了?畏畏缩缩，害怕自找麻烦，才一直循规蹈矩

That's 'cause we're the good guys. 因为我们是美国好公民

Even Batman breaks the rules. You know I struggle with Batman. 蝙蝠侠有时候还打破常规呢。你知道我和蝙蝠侠不合

I-I say, this one time, instead of wimping out, let's be badasses! 我看，就这一次，摘掉窝囊废的名号，做回混蛋!

Okay, I'll be a badass, but only if you pinky-swear to be one, too. 没错，我要做个坏蛋，但是你得打勾勾保证你也要做坏蛋

Howard, you in on this? 霍华德，你加入不?

No need. I'm breaking rules all the time. Name one. 不必，我一直很叛逆，举个栗子

Last night. Drank my Pepto straight out of the bottle. 昨晚，直接对着瓶子吹胃药佩托

What about that little cup they give you? Yeah. What about it? 他们给你的小杯子呢?对啊，怎么地?

A-Are you impressed by that? A little. Yeah, me, too. 你被唬住了吗?有一点，是啊，我也是

You know, when I first read the script for Empire Strikes Back and Darth Vader told Luke he was his father...I thought for sure he was lying. 你知道吗，当我第一次读到帝国反击战中，达斯·维德告诉天行者卢克他是卢克的父亲时，我以为达斯·维德在骗他

Me, too! But he wasn't, was he? 我也是!但是他没有，对吧?

He was not! How messed up was that?! 他没有!他们圈是有多乱啊?!

So messed up. 超乱的

What do you say let's go have some fun? 咱们去找点乐子你看怎么样?

My wife's in New York, and I got a Lion King residual check burning a hole in my pocket. 我老婆在纽约呢，《狮子王》的电影票烂在我口袋里了

So, afternoon tea was a bust. 所以，下午茶算是毁了

On the bright side, every six-year-old there was jealous of my tiara. 好的一面就是，那里所有小屁孩儿都很嫉妒我有皇冠

Not gonna lie, it felt good. 不骗你们，感觉倍儿爽

Let me ask you a question When did you guys start feeling grown up? 'Cause I am not sure I do. 我问你们，你们什么时候开始觉得自己是个成年人了?我还不太确定我是不是

Honestly, I thought when I got married I would, but I still kind of feel like I'm pretending. 老实说，我以为结了婚我就个成年人，但我感觉自己是在硬撑

It doesn't help that most of my clothes come from Gap Kids. 谁叫我的衣服几乎都来自Gap Kids(童装店)呢

Okay, so I'm an adult and the other day I saw an old man slip and fall down, and I laughed. 我已经是个成年人了，可前几天看见一个老人滑了一跤，我竟然乐了

I mean, I laughed hard. Like-like, out loud. 我想说我真的笑惨了，惨到...笑得超大声

If he was conscious, he would've heard me. 要是他没摔晕过去，肯定能听见我的笑声

Oh, my gosh. I know. One of the tennis balls came off his walker and bounced right off his head. I mean... I... I almost wet myself. 天哪，就是啊，有个网球从他的助步器上掉下来，还在他头上反弹了一下，哈哈哈，我差点就笑尿了

I guess you had to be there. 看来还是得身临其境才能感同身受

I think I have you both beat. 你们都弱爆了

Imagine trying to feel like a grown-up when you've never even been with a man. 想象一下从来没和男人亲热过，怎么能感觉自己是个成年人

Okay, sex is not what makes you a grown-up. 性爱并不能让人变得成熟

Yeah. Or you'd be the oldest one here. 是啊，不然你就是我们这儿最老的

Really? Is that how you talk to your mother? 没听错吧?你就是这么跟你妈说话的?

He just parked. He's on his way up. Good. This is exciting. 他刚停好车，马上就上来了。太好了，好激动啊

It is. I feel alive. 是呀，我感觉又满血复活了

What if we do get caught, who cares? So we get banned from Comic-Con. 真被抓包了又怎样?谁在乎啊?不就是被禁止参加动漫大会嘛

Maybe slapped with a fine. I'll be an astronaut and a bad boy how will women keep their pants on? 可能也就罚点儿小钱，我既是航天员又是坏男孩，妹子们还怎么提得住裤子啊?

Uh, maybe it'll come up when I apply for citizenship. 可能我申请国籍会有麻烦

Oh, crap, what if it comes up when I apply for citizenship? 我去，万一影响到我申请国籍怎么办啊?

I wonder if we'd have to disclose something like this when we apply for grants. 是不是在申请科研基金的时候也得老实交代这个呀?

He's gonna be here any second! what should we do? 他马上就到了，我们该怎么办啊?

You guys are such babies. 你们简直太幼稚了

I'll handle this. 我来处理

If he thinks we're not home, he'll go away. 如果他认为我们不在家，他就会走了

I thought you were a badass. I lied about the Pepto. I always use the little cup! 我还以为你是个坏种呢！喝胃药那事儿我撒谎了，我一直都是用小杯子喝的!

Is it true, as a child, you were a stutterer and were functionally mute for eight years? It is true. 你小时候有口吃，这事儿是真的吗?而且功能性失语八年?是真的

Is it true they used scuba gear to create the sound of Darth Vader breathing? 他们是用水中呼吸器来制造黑武士的呼吸声，是真的吗?

They sure did. 是的

Is it true that you were premed in college and you almost became a doctor? 你曾上过医学院预科差点成了医生，是真的吗?

That's right. Oh, James! I could listen to your stories all night. 是真的，天哪，詹姆斯!你的故事我能听整晚

I mean, really, what's so great about being grown up? 我想说，成熟到底有什么好的?

Well, for starters, we'd be splitting this check three ways. 这个嘛，首先，这次的钱就该三个人平分

I'm serious. Who wants to do all that stuff? 我是认真的，谁会想烦那些事儿啊?

Have insurance, pay mortgages, leave one of those little notes when you hit a parked car. 上保险呀，还房屋贷款呀，撞到停好的车后留个小纸条什么的

I told you it was Penny. 就跟你说是佩妮撞的嘛

Oh, come on, it wasn't me. Anyone could have knocked your mirror off... or whatever happened. 拜托，不是我。谁都能把你的镜子打碎...或者任何别的事情

Maybe the guys are right. 也许男生们说得对

I mean, we spent the whole night trying to be mature, and it was kind of boring. 我们整晚都想变成熟，却落得无聊至极

I'm sure they're having more fun than we are. 他们肯定玩得比我们欢乐

Oh, God, I could really use exactly two tablespoons of Pepto right now. 上帝，我真该喝两匙胃药

Hey, Los Angeles! I'm on a Ferris wheel with Darth Vader! 洛杉矶你好!我和达斯·维德一起坐摩天轮

And he's nicer than you think! I am! 他人比你想的好多了!好多了!

In the jungle, the mighty jungle Ah-wimoweh, The lion sleeps tonight Bring it home, Mufasa. Ah-Wimoweh 浩瀚的林海之中，动刺大刺，雄狮正好眠，带他回来吧，狮王木法沙

Eee... Ah-wimoweh, ah-wimoweh... Eee, eee, eee, Ah, um-a-weh...  咦...动刺大刺，动刺大刺，咦，动刺大刺，

I don't understand what we're doing. Shh. Whose house is that? Carrie Fisher. 我们干嘛这么贼头贼脑啊？嘘，谁住这啊?凯丽·费雪住这(《星际大战》中莉亚公主扮演者)

And she's a little crazy, so get ready to run. 而且她有点神经质，做好随时逃跑的准备

It's not funny anymore, James! 这梗已经玩烂了，詹姆斯!

Then why am I laughing! 那我为什么还笑成这样?!

Ah, Sheldon, this is the perfect end to a perfect night. Okay. 谢尔顿，这为今夜画上完美句点。你高兴就好

Yeah, but I think it could have ended with the karaoke. 不过我觉得本来可以以K歌收尾的

What were you trying to ask me at the strip club? Oh. 在脱衣舞夜总会你想问我什么来着?哦

How much does it cost to get them off my lap? 花多少钱才能让她们从我腿上下来?

No. Something about a convention. 不是这个，关于什么大会

Oh, right! Well... my friends and I couldn't get into Comic-Con this year, 哦对!我和朋友买不到今天动漫大会的票

and I was trying to start my own convention, and I was going to ask if you would be a panelist. 我打算自己举办一个，我本来想问你要不要来当嘉宾

Why don't you and your friends come to Comic-Con with me? 你和你朋友何不跟我一起去动漫大会?

Really? Of course. 此话当真?绝无戏言

And San Diego is right across the border from my favorite city on Earth, Tijuana...where I'm taking you every night! 而且圣地亚哥接壤着我最喜欢的城市，提华纳(墨西哥城市，色情赌博泛滥)，我每晚都带你们去见识见识!

Ay-yi-yi. Ay-yi-yi, bang-bang. 唉呀妈呀，唉呀妈呀，邦邦

So, Beau Bridges is on my shoulders, and Jeff Bridges is on Marlon Brando's shoulders, 博·布里吉斯骑在我肩上(美国男演员)，杰夫·布里吉斯骑在马龙·白兰度肩上(均为美国男演员)

and remember, we do not have permission to be in the pool... Hey! Sheldon, wake up! 你要知道，我们是不准去泳池的，醒醒!

And... Angie Dickinson is about to sic the dogs on us, 然后...安吉·迪金森都要放狗咬我们了(好莱坞女星)

and I go under the water and Marlon goes under the water, and the water raises about two feet and sloshes all over her patio, 我潜到水下，马龙也潜到水下，水位升了差不多2英尺，水溢得整个平台都是

and the dogs freak out and run like hell, and then we run like hell...Oh, boy! 那几只狗吓死了，撒腿就跑，然后我们也撒腿就跑，哦天哪!

That was a lot of fun. 太精彩了

Uh... who's Angie Dickinson? 插一句，安吉·迪金森是哪位?