生活大爆炸第七季:第16集:一张餐桌引发的争端(上)（在线收听）

I'm thinking about growing a goatee. 我正打算留个山羊胡呢

Oh, actually that's a Van Dyke. A goatee is just hair on the chin. 哦，你比划的是凡戴克式胡须，山羊胡只在下巴上留一撮

Oh. Wait, then what is it if you just have hair up here? 哦，那么，只留这里叫什么呢?

You mean a moustache? 你是说"小福子"?

Moo-stache! He said it! 小福子!就是这句!

Ha-ha, very funny. Make fun of the foreign guy. 呵呵，真有趣，就会拿个老外开涮

For your information, there are four times as many Indians as there are Americans, so the way we say it is right. 跟你们说，印度人口总数是美国的4倍，所以我们怎么念你们就怎么念

Say what? Moo-stache. Moo-stache! He said "moo-stache". 怎么念? 小福子。小福子!他说"小福子"

Guys, you're being childish. Yeah, she's right. You're grown men, the kind who are perfectly capable of growing your own moo-staches. 你们这群幼稚鬼。就是，她说的在理，个个都老大不小的了，完全都可以长"小福子"了

Hey, you were funny on purpose... good job. 你会自己编笑话了，好样的

Hi. Sorry I'm late-I was at an audition. 嗨，不好意思迟到了，刚结束试镜

Oh, I'm sorry. You'll get 'em next time. 哦，真遗憾，下次一定能成功的

How about instead of assuming I failed, you ask me how it went? 能不能别想当然地以为我落选了，不妨问问结果如何?

Sorry. How did it go? Just shut up. 对不起，试镜怎么样啊?给我闭嘴

Here, you can have your seat. No, no, no, stay there. I'm fine on the floor. 过来，座位还你，不不不，不麻烦，我可以坐地板

Have you guys ever thought about getting a dining room table? 你们就没想过买张餐桌吗?

Yeah. You actually do have room for one up there. 就是，那儿反正空着也是空着

Oh, sure, I sit on the floor for years, no one cares. 哦，好嘛，我在地上委屈了几年都无人问津

The pretty white girl's there ten seconds, and suddenly we're all running to IKEA. 这白人小美妞就挨地10秒，你们就迫不及待要去宜家了

No one is running anywhere. We're not getting a dining room table. 没人要跑去哪儿，我们不会买餐桌的

I know you don't like change, but it's not a terrible idea. 我知道你不喜欢改变，但这个主意不赖啊

Yeah, you guys never use that space up there. Why not get a table? 就是，况且那块地儿一直空着，为啥不买张餐桌呢?

Do you want the long answer or the short answer? 你想听答案精讲还是简答?

Hey, how come we never get that option? 喂，为什么我们从来都没得选?

Chaos theory suggests that even in a deterministic system, if the equations describing its behavior are nonlinear, 混沌理论表明，即使是在确定性系统中，如果表达其变化的公式是非线性的

a tiny change in the initial conditions can lead to a cataclysmic and unpredictable result. 那么初始状态的一个细微变化都有可能带来天翻地覆且无法预知的结果

Translation? Waah. I don't want a table! 人话是?讨厌，人家不想要桌子!

Hey, Penny and I are gonna go shop for a dining room table. You want to come with us? 少年，佩妮和我要去买餐桌，一起去吗?

You know, I'd love to, but, um, I'm too busy falling back in love with Windows 98. 很想去，但实在脱不开身，我和Windows 98重燃爱火

Seriously? You haven't used this desk in years. 闹哪样?你有些年没用过这桌子了

The second I want to get rid of it, you're up here working? 我一说要把它处理掉，你就屁颠屁颠坐着干活啦?

I can't talk right now I have several thousand updates to install. 我没时间多说，数千个更新待我安装

Are you really gonna sit here all day? 你当真要在这里坐一天?

Think of me as Arthur Dent in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, lying in front of the bulldozers to protect his home. 就把我当做《银河系漫游指南》里面的亚瑟·丹特，为了扞卫家园只身挡在推土机前

If you'll recall, the Vogon fleet blew up the Earth anyway.  你好好想想，沃岗舰队还是把地球轰飞了。

It's a made-up story, Leonard... I don't even know why you're talking about it. 这故事是虚构的，莱纳德，真不知道你为什么要提这个

I'm putting all this stuff in storage. We don't need any of it. 我要把这些东西都收进储物室，这些我们根本就不需要

You... How can you say that? 你... 听听你自己说的什么?

You show me one thing in here we can live without. Oh, hang on. 你给我指出一个可以滚出我们生活的。行，别急

Check your in-box. 请查看收件箱

Wait. Is this really worth it? 等等，这样值得吗?

We've lived together for years with nary an argument. Huh? 我们相敬如宾这么多年，不曾有过任何分歧。啥?

But we start talking about a table, and suddenly we're at each other's throats. 就因为一张餐桌彼此就兵戎相见

"Nary an argument"? "Nary"?! 没有任何纷争?毛都没有?!

Well, that means "not one," or "not any". 额，这个词的意思是"没有一个"或者"丝毫没有"

Maybe instead of a table, you should buy a dictionary. 我看相比于餐桌，你更应该买本词典

Well, I don't know if I won that, but at least he's upset. 真是，这回合没分出胜负，但是至少让他不爽了

Check it out. 看着啊

Magic wand TV remote! 用魔法棒遥控电视!

Yeah, I can control all sorts of stuff. 是啊，可以实施各项指令

Did Bernadette think it was cool?  伯纳黛特看好它吗?

Not when I said "mute" and pointed it at her face. 我对准她的脸说出"静音"时，有点惹毛她

Oh, uh, let me try. channelis changeroni! 快让我试试，换频道玛尼哄!

This might be my second favorite brown magic wand. 这应该是我人生中第二喜欢的棕色魔法棒了

Well, that's the last time I play with that. 额，我再也不想碰它了

I have to take this. Hello? 接个电话。你好

off. And on. And the Oprah Network. 关闭，打开，奥普拉频道

This is so much better than watching TV like a muggle. 这可比像个麻瓜一样看电视强太多了

Okay. Thank you. We'll be in touch. 好，谢谢。随时联系

You're not gonna believe this. 你绝对不会相信发生了什么

What's going on? Oh. Wait. On! And off! 怎么了?等会，打开!关闭!

What's going on? 什么事?

That was NASA. 刚才美国宇航局打电话

They want me to go back up to the space station. 他们想让我再回到空间站

Wow. What did you tell them? 哇，那你怎么回的?

I told them I'd be honored. 我说我很荣幸

A second trip to space-I'll miss you. 重返太空，我会想你的

And I'm gonna miss you, too. 我也会想你的

I just want you to know, I'm happy to look in on Bernadette while you're gone. 你放心，在你离开的时候我会照顾伯纳黛特

Thank you. And if anything were to happen to you, we will name our firstborn son Howard. 谢谢，如果你发生任何意外，我们会给我们的第一个孩子起名为霍华德

I'm just kidding. We'll name him Dalib, after my grandfather. 不可能啦，第一个孩子得叫达利部，随我爷爷的名字

Ooh, this one looks nice. No. Sheldon doesn't like reclaimed wood. 哟，这个看起来不错，不行，谢尔顿不喜欢回收的木材

Why not? 为什么?

He's afraid the original owners will come back. 他怕原主人找上门

Yeah. Well, Sheldon's not here. 拜托，谢尔顿又没在这儿

Well, he is here. 但他在这儿!

So unless you want to dig him out with a bone saw and a melon baller, there's nothing I can do about it. 除非你用骨锯和挖勺把他掏出来，否则我无能为力

All right, sweetie, you're paying for this table, and it's your apartment, too. I know, but... 亲爱的，是你为这张桌子买单，那也是你的公寓，我知道，但是...

No buts. You got to stop letting him boss you around. 没有但是，你不能总被他牵着鼻子走

You're right. I mean, h-he decides what TV shows we watch, what food we eat, who my favorite hobbit is, 说得对，他决定我们看什么节目，决定我们吃什么，决定我最喜欢的霍比特人

I wanted Frodo, but we can't both have Frodo, so guess who's stuck with Samwise Gamgee. 我想要弗罗多，但是我们不能都要弗罗多，你猜最后摊上山姆·詹吉

See? Right there. You're a grown man, you should be able to pick whichever hobbit you want. 明白了?就是这么回事，你是个成年人，你有权利选择自己喜欢的霍比特人

Wish you wouldn't, but one problem at a time. 这个权利可以没有，一次解决一个问题

Y-You make a lot of sense. 你说的有道理

I like this table, and I'm getting it. 我喜欢这张桌子，我买了

Really? This one? 真的?这张?

That one? Damn right I like that one. 那张?靠，没错，我喜欢那张

Hey. Good news. 嗨，好消息

Someone in this room gets to take a ride on a rocket. 这个房间里有人可以坐火箭咯

Fine. Can I at least shower first? 好吧，我能先洗个澡不?

No, not that. Although you already agreed to it, so no take-backs. 不，不是指那个，不过你既然都说了，就不带反悔的

What are you talking about? Sit down. NASA called. 你本来想说什么?坐，美国宇航局来电话了

The telescope mount I installed on the space station got damaged, and they want me to go back up and fix it. Wow. 我在空间站安装的望远镜支架有些损坏，他们想让我上去将其修复。哇

Well, what did you say? 那你的回应是?

What do you think I...? I said yes! 你觉得呢?我当然答应了!

Why do you look surprised? 你怎么这么惊讶?

Well, it's just, after last time, I didn't think you'd ever want to go back. 就是，上次之后，我以为你死也不会再去

Are you kidding? It was the greatest experience of my life. 别开玩笑，那是我人生最光辉的经历

Really? 'Cause I kind of remember a lot of complaining and wishing for it to be over. 真的吗?因为我记得我听到了无尽的抱怨以及希望早点结束旅程之类的

I think you have me confused with what's gonna happen when you get out of that shower. 我觉得你搞糊涂了，我说的不是洗澡之后要发生的那个事

Hey, all set. What do you think? 安置好啦，你觉得怎么样?

There's plenty of room for everybody, a view out the window. 大家都有足够的空间，还有窗外美景相伴

My spot on the couch has a great view of a window. 我沙发上的专座足以欣赏窗外风景

Sometimes I can see space battles through it. 有时候还能一睹宇宙大战呢

It's called a TV. 通过一个叫"电视"的窗口

Give it a chance, Sheldon; you might actually like it. 你试试嘛，谢尔顿，说不定你会喜欢呢

You're absolutely right. Nope. 确实。不喜欢

Well, you can't say he didn't give it a fair shot. 现在你还真不能说他没试过

So, when can we get rid of it? We're not. 那么，我们什么时候可以把这张桌子搬走?没这个打算

What about the roommate agreement? 那室友协议怎么办?

It specifically states that any changes in furnishing have to be approved by the Furnishing Committee. 协议上明确地写着任何对家具的改动必须由每隔一年开一次例会的

Which only sits on alternate years. 家具委员会通过

Yeah, and by the way, it sits over there. 哦，顺便提醒一下，"家具委员会"是在这里举办的

Come on, that is ridiculous. She's right-- a committee that important should meet more often. 拜托，这太荒谬了。她说得对，一个那么重要的委员会应该更经常开例会

That's not what I'm saying. 我不是这个意思

Oh. This is the thing about me standing up to him and not letting him run my life? Yes. That. 哦，这是关于我站起来反抗他，不让他掌控我的生活的事?是的。说的是那个

Okay. I think we've found the problem here. 好吧，我想我们找到问题所在了

It's not the table at all. It's you. 压根不是桌子的问题。是你

Me? Well, it's always me-- take one for the team. 我?向来都是我，为团队牺牲一次

I have spent years turning this lump of clay into an acceptable conduit for my will, 许多年来我一直努力把这团粘土按我的意愿捏成一条可接受的导管

and then you came along and reshaped him, with your newfangled ideas and your fancy genitals. 然后你出现并用你新颖的想法和美妙的下体重塑他

Are you gonna let him talk to me like this? 你就让他这样跟我说话么?

"Fancy" sounds like a compliment. "美妙的"听起来是夸奖

Okay, I have not tried to change Leonard. That's just what happens in relationships. Look how much Amy's changed you. 我并没有要尝试改变莱纳德，情侣之间就是这样的，看艾米对你改变的多大

That's not true. 这根本就不是事实。

Oh, please. When I first met you, you were incapable of touching another human being. 哦，拜托，我第一次见你的时候，你甚至不能和别人握手

Now you're holding hands, you're going on dates, you even made out with her on a train. 现在的你和艾米握手，和艾米约会，甚至还和她在火车上亲吻

She told you?! 她告诉你了?!

Of course she told me-- it's the most interesting thing that's ever happened to her in her entire life! 她当然告诉我了，那是她这一生中做过最有趣的的事情了!

You're too close to it, but Amy has had a huge impact on you. 你是当局者迷，但艾米确实对你产生了巨大的影响

You're right. 你说的对

Without realizing it, I've allowed that woman to alter my personality. 我没有意识到我竟让那个女人改变了我的性格

Mm, Sheldon, you didn't have a personality; you just had some shows you liked.  谢尔顿，你并没有性格可言，你只是有一些你喜欢的节目而已。

No. No, I've changed. 不。你说的对，我变了

Like the frog who's put in a pot of water that's heated so gradually he doesn't realize he's boiling to death. 就像一只青蛙被放到一锅水里，水温渐渐加热，他却全完不觉他会被煮死

Or you're the frog who's been kissed by a princess and turned into a prince. Or you're just a tall, annoying frog. 或者你就是那只被公主亲吻了的青蛙，然后变成了王子，或者你只是一只长得又高又烦的青蛙