He's in Texas. He'll never know. 他在德州呢，他又不会知道

I wouldn't be so sure about that. 要是我可不会这么肯定

Yeah, he has a very sensitive butt. 是啊，他的屁股很敏感的

Well, it's true. Once I saw him sit on a bunch of loose change and add it up. 我说真的!有一次他坐在一堆硬币上，就数出来了

Have you heard from Howard? 霍华德联系你了吗?

I did. His talk at NASA went great. Sheldon didn't heckle him? 联系了，他在国家宇航局的讲座很成功，谢尔顿没给他找麻烦?

No, in fact, he was so well-behaved, Howie bought him a Buzz Aldrin bobble head and astronaut ice cream. 没有，谢尔顿表现得特别好，华仔奖励了他一个宇航员奥尔德林的点头公仔，还请他吃太空人牌冰激凌呢

Hey, guys. Hi, Stuart. Hey, Stuart! 大家好啊。你好呀，斯图尔特！

How's it going? Good. Sheldon's out of town, so we can do whatever we want. 最近怎么样?  好啊!谢尔顿不在，我们想干什么就干什么

We even ordered from the Thai place he doesn't like. Oh, how is it? 我们还在他讨厌的泰国餐馆订了外卖。味道如何?

Disgusting. Do not tell him. 太难吃了，千万别告诉他

What do you guys want to do tonight? 今晚你们有什么安排?

I don't know. Well, I told Howie if I wasn't busy, I'd spend the night at his mom's. So for God's sake, think of something. 不知道呢，我跟华仔说如果我没事，晚上就去他妈妈那，所以快想点什么事吧

Stuart? Are you okay? 斯图尔特？没事吧?

No, I don't feel so... Oh, Stuart? Stuart? 我感觉不太...噢，斯图尔特？斯图尔特？

Oh, my God, you guys need to do something! Stuart? Calling 911. 噢天呐，你们快点想个办法!斯图尔特？我打911了

Well, it's too late. What do you mean it's too late? 太晚了，什么叫太晚了?

He's been murdered by someone in this room. 他被屋子里的某人谋杀了

Oh, my God. Oh, come on! 天呐，又来了!

Welcome to another classic Koothrappali murder mystery dinner. 欢迎再次来到经典的库斯拉帕里杀人谜案晚餐

I'm leaving. 我要走了

You can't leave. You're a suspect in the mysterious murder of Stuart Bloom. 你不能走，你现在是一场谋杀谜案的嫌疑人，被害人是斯图尔特·布卢姆

I didn't know his last name was Bloom. Yeah, it's Bloom. 我都不知道他姓布卢姆，对，是布卢姆

Are you really gonna lie on the floor and pretend to be dead all night? 你真打算躺地板上一晚上装死?

What do you think I was gonna do at home? 你觉得我在家会做什么?

Are you gonna make us pretend to be a bunch of lame characters with silly accents? 你打算让我们装作一群蹩脚的角色说着奇怪的口音?

"Lame characters with silly ac..." "蹩脚的角色说着奇怪口..."

What kind of actress are you? 你这算是什么演员?

You're right, I'm sorry. 你说的对，我很抱歉

It sounds like fun.Thank you. 听起来很有趣，谢谢

That kind of actress. This sucks! 就是那种演员，太无聊了!

Come on, guys. Raj put a lot of effort into this. And that's great. 你们别这样嘛，拉杰花了很多心思的，很有趣的

It's not sad, it's great. 不无聊，挺好的

I think it might be fun to be someone else tonight. 我觉得如果换个身份玩会很有趣

Actually, you're all just gonna be yourselves. Oh... ugh. 你们还是做你们自己。哦...额

All right, if I'm doing this, I'm playing to win, so just to be clear: If we're ourselves, that means one of us killed Stuart? 好，如果我来玩，我就要赢，所以先说清楚，如果我们都是自己，那就有一个人杀了斯图尔特?

Very good, Bernadette. You are a regular Byomkesh Bakshi. 正确，伯纳黛特，你是一名合格的庞克希·巴克希

What is that, like, the Indian Sherlock Holmes? 那是谁?印度版的福尔摩斯?

Or is Sherlock Holmes the English Byomkesh Bakshi? 或许福尔摩斯才是英版的庞克希·巴克希呢?

According to Wikipedia, Sherlock Holmes came first. 根据维基百科，福尔摩斯出的早

Great, everyone's a Byomkesh Bakshi. 行行，人人都是庞克希·巴克希

Now... here are some secret facts about each of you, including whether you are the murderer. 好，这是你们的一些秘密，里面还说明了你是不是凶手

Throughout the game, feel free to ask each other questions to uncover clues. 游戏过程中请通过相互提问来寻找线索

Got it. Hey... who's the murderer? 明白，那个...谁是凶手?

Any question but that. 除了那个问题

Sorry. Hey... who's not the murderer? 对不起,那么...谁不是凶手?

Bernadette, can you not stand so close to me? 伯纳黛特，你能站远一点不?

What do you care? You're dead. Suit yourself. 关你什么事?你都死了，随你便咯

But I can kind of... see up your skirt. 只不过我能隐约...看到你春光乍泄

Thank you for my bobble head. 谢谢你送我点头公仔

Thank you for not making fun of me during my speech. 谢谢你没在我演讲的时候挖苦我

It wasn't easy. Was it Buzz? 那可不容易，对吧?

We can't show up to your mom's empty-handed. We should bring something. 我们不能两手空空去看望你妈妈，我们应该带点什么过去

I already am. 我早就带了

I'm bringing the gift of knowledge. Oh, boy. 我的知识就是礼物。我的天

Despite what her Bible says, recent archeological studies indicate that although camels are referenced in the Old Testament, 先不管她那本圣经上怎么写，近期有考古研究指出虽然骆驼在《旧约》中曾被提及

they didn't exist in the Middle East until hundreds of years later. 但它们在数百年后才出现在中东地区

I was gonna say we pick up a cake or a pie. 我本来是要说买个蛋糕或者派

But an insult to her faith is always thoughtful. 不过挖苦她的宗教信仰总是显得那么体贴

So, what happens next? 接下来会怎样?

I can't tell you that. 我可不能告诉你

But perhaps the killer dropped a fun and imaginative clue somewhere in the apartment. 不过凶手也许在公寓某处留下了妙趣横生且天马行空的线索呢

Ooh, I'm gonna check the fridge, and see if there are any clues inside a beer. 我去打开冰箱看看，啤酒里会不会藏着线索

Hey, I-I found something. It looks like a little man with a briefcase. 各位，我发现了什么，看起来像是个提着公文包的小个子男人

Oh, no, no. That's Clarence Darrow. 不，那是克莱伦斯·达罗律师

It's from a game Sheldon made up called Chutes and Lawyers. 是谢尔顿编的"滑道与律师"游戏里的道具

You slide down a chute and then work your way back up through the appellate system. 你沿着滑道滑下然后又通过上诉制度沿路折回

Well, unlike that, my games are much more fun. 我的游戏可比那个有趣多了

Okay, can I ask you something? Why do you like making us do this stuff? 好吧，我可以问你个事吗?为什么你非要让我们玩这个?

Well, I guess it goes back to when I was a fat kid in India, and didn't have any friends. 那估计要从我在印度的时候说起，那时候我是个小胖娃，没什么朋友

I didn't know you were fat. 我不知道你以前是个胖子

Yeah, I was... I was 200 pounds by the time I was in middle school. 我那时候...我上初中的时候体重就200磅了

Kids were mean. 小孩都挺坏的

Cows may be sacred there, but it doesn't help if you look like one. 虽然牛在印度是神圣的动物，但是你长得像牛可不是什么好事

Anyway, I was pretty lonely, so I had to make up my own stories and games, and I promised myself if I ever made any friends that...  不管怎样，那时候的我很孤独，所以我只能编着属于我自己的故事和游戏，我对自己许下承诺，如果有一天我能交到朋友……

that I would play those games with them. 我就会和他们玩我的游戏

That is so sweet. 好感人的经历

I've seen old pictures of you. You were never a fat kid. 我看过你的老照片，你从来没胖过啊

No, I was svelte as a gazelle. 当然没有，我的身材就如瞪羚般苗条

A gazelle blessed with a flair for storytelling. 一只很会讲故事的瞪羚

Hey, what about this? It looks like a receipt. 这是什么?看起来是张收据

What's it for? 什么收据?

For a cup of coffee. But it's dated 20 years from now. 一杯咖啡的收据，不过日期是20年后的

From the future?! 来自未来的收据?

How fun and imaginative. 实在妙趣横生并且天马行空呀

So one of us came back from the future to murder Stuart? Correct. 我们其中一个人从未来回到现在然后杀了斯图尔特?没错

Does the gazelle with a flair for storytelling know he's just ripping off Terminator? 这个很会讲故事的瞪羚知道他在抄袭《终结者》的情节吗?

Does the smart-ass know that Terminator was actually ripped off from an Outer Limits script called Demon With a Glass Hand, by Harlan Ellison? 那个自以为是的家伙又知道《终结者》其实是抄袭了哈兰·埃里森写的《外星界限》里的一章:"玻璃手的魔鬼"吗?

Oh, does the gazelle know that according to Harlan Ellison, it was not ripped off from Demon With a Glass Hand, 那这只瞪羚又知不知道，根据哈兰·埃里森的说法，《终结者》并没有抄袭"玻璃手的魔鬼"

but was ripped off from another Outer Limits script he wrote called The Soldier? 而是抄袭了《外星界限》的另一章他写的"士兵"?

I'm gonna need another clue. 我需要再来一瓶线索

Okay. give me the flowers and pie. 好吧，把花和派给我

But if we show up and you're holding them, she'll think they're only from you. 但是如果让你拿，她会觉得都是你送的

They are only from me. You said the gift of you was enough. 本来就是我送的，你说只要有你作礼物就够了

Yes... but now that I've seen what the gift of me with flowers and pie looks like, there's no going back. 是这么说，但我已经看到拿着鲜花和派的我作为礼物是什么样子就没有后悔药可吃了

Boy, I can't wait to see the look on her face... We're leaving right now. 我真的迫不及待想看看她脸上的表情，我们现在就走

What's wrong? Nothing. 咋回事?没事

What? Sheldon, tell me what's going on! 怎么了谢尔顿?，告诉我发生什么事了!

I saw my mommy with a naked man and she was trying to be a mommy again. 我看到妈咪和一个裸男一块儿，她又想当妈了

You ready to talk about it? 你准备好聊聊了吗?

I'm not nearly drunk enough. Okay. 还远不到酒后吐真言的时候呢。现在到了

Do you have any idea what it's like to see your mother ravaging someone? 你有想过看到你妈妈"蹂躏"别人是什么感觉吗?

Does a brisket count? 鸡胸肉算吗?

I'm sorry, buddy, that's rough. 抱歉兄弟，我知道这不容易

But didn't she know we were coming? No. 但她不知道我们要来吗?她不知道

I wanted to surprise her. 我想给她个惊喜来着

What am I supposed to say to her after something like this? 现在出了这茬，我该怎么跟她说啊?

Well, did she see you in the window? No. 她从窗户那看到你了吗?没有

Then don't say anything. I have to. 那就什么也别说啊。那怎么行

How can we ever hope to have a healthy relationship if I don't tell her how disappointed I am, and that I'll never forgive her? 如果我不告诉她我有多失望，而且绝不原谅她，我们还如何维持优良关系啊?

Well, don't do it on the phone. 好吧，别在电话里说

No, I'm just going to tell her I'm coming so she can give that Good Time Charlie the heave-ho. 不，我只是告诉她我要过去，好让她把小情郎送走

That's some tough talk. I may need to cut you off. 好大的口气，我还是不让你喝酒了

Yeah, maybe you better. I took a pretty big sip. 没错，最好还是给你吧，我喝了好大一口呢

Look, she's a grown woman. 听着，她是个成熟的女人

And-and your dad's been gone a long time. 况且你爸爸也不在很久了

Maybe this is none of your business. 或许你根本就不该管这事儿啊

I beg to differ. 这我可不敢苟同

I used to live in those genitals. 我还在那些生殖器官里住过呢

And if someone wants to move into my old room, I should at least get a vote. 如果有人想搬进我的旧家，我起码有个投票权吧

Okay, murder suspects, Leonard has found the time machine the killer must've used. 好，嫌疑犯们，莱纳德找到了杀手用过的时间机器

You're all inside it, and we hurtle through the very fabric of time. 你们都已经在里面了，接着我们猛冲过时间架构

And welcome to 20 years in the future. 欢迎来到20年之后!

Hey, you guys just time-traveled. Stop looking so bored. 喂，你们可是刚刚穿越了啊，别一脸无聊的样子啊

Well, my beer isn't flat and my rack's not saggy. So far, the future's great. 好吧，啤酒还冒着泡，胸还没有下垂，目前看来未来一片大好

Hey, can I go to the bathroom? 我可以去洗手间吗?

Fine, just try not to look too alive. 行，尽量看起来死气沉沉一点

That's my jam. 老本行了

So one of us went back in time to kill Stuart? But why? 这么说我们之中的一个穿越到过去杀了斯图尔特?但为什么呀?

Perhaps this will help. 也许这个能解释

Here are some facts about yourselves in the future that might contain a clue. 这里是一些关于你们未来的事情也许含有一丝线索

Hey, I-I won the Nobel Prize in physiology. 呀，我获了诺贝尔生理学奖呢

Then I used the money to buy Stuart's comic book store, and close it down so Sheldon would pay attention to me. 然后我拿奖金买下斯图尔特的漫画店，让它关门大吉，这样谢尔顿就能把心放我身上

Not the worst idea. 也不是啥馊主意

Hey, I'm a famous actress living in London. 看，我成了住在伦敦的知名演员啦

Hmm! I'm a professor at Stanford. Hmm! 嗯，我是斯坦福大学的教授了呢

So I guess you two are making it work long distance. 这么说你们异地恋了呢。

Oh, no. In this game, as your careers both took off, you drifted apart. 不不，在这个游戏里，随着你们两个角色都飞黄腾达，你们也劳燕分飞了

Kind of like how future me lost touch with you guys after I became boy toy for the wrinkled, but still flexible, Madonna. 正如未来的我一般成了满脸皱纹但依旧灵活的麦当娜的小白脸之后就与你们失去了联系

What does your card say, Bernadette? 伯纳黛特，你的卡片上说什么啦?

Eh, eh, eh, hang on. Do-do you think we'd really drift apart if we both became successful? 等等等下，你觉得如果我们都功成名就的话真的会各奔东西吗?

Of course not. If I became a famous actress and had to move, you would just come with me. 当然不会啦，如果我成了着名演员，并且要搬家，你自然就会跟着来啊