Thanks for lifting my spirits. 谢谢你为我们鼓劲提气

Next time, try lifting the box. 下回不如试着提箱子

Please hurry. I don't need a treadmill! 拜托快点。我不需要跑步机!

The doctor says you need to get exercise! 医生说了你需要锻炼身体!

I get plenty of exercise! 我经常锻炼!

Crushing my will to live isn't exercise! 碾压我的生存意志不算锻炼!

If she isn't gonna use it, then why are we doing this? 如果她不打算用，我们还费什么劲啊?

She'll use it. All I need is to rig it with a fishing pole and a HoneyBaked Ham. 她会用的，搞定这事儿只需要一根鱼竿和一块蜜汁烤火腿

All right. Now what? 好吧。现在要干嘛?

We set it up in Howie's old room. 我们在华仔的旧屋里组装它

Do you know how to set it up? 你知道怎么组装吗?

Please, I'm an MIT-trained engineer. I think I can handle... Ma, look out! 拜托，我是从麻省理工出来的工程师，我能搞定...妈，小心!

I told you this thing would kill me! 我都跟你说了这东西会弄死我!

So she's gonna be laid up for at least six weeks. 这么说她起码得卧床六周

Poor Mrs. Wolowitz. 可怜的沃洛维茨太太

Should we do something for her? 我们能为她做点什么吗?

I know. Let's go see the new Spider-Man movie. 我知道，我们去看最新的蜘蛛侠电影吧

Sheldon, we're talking about your friend's mother. She got hurt. 谢尔顿，我们正说你朋友的妈妈呢，她受伤了

I thought that subject had run its course, so I changed it. 我以为那个话题已经聊完了，所以我换了一个

It's called reading the room, Amy. 这叫察房观色，艾米。

Hi. Hey, how were things on the set? 大家好。嗨，片场情况怎么样?

Uh, pretty good, actually. 额，其实还挺不错的

So the movie's not as bad as you thought? 这么说电影没你想得那么烂?

Oh, no, it is, but I decided, instead of complaining about it, I'm just gonna go in every day and give it my all. Good for you Thanks. 噢，不，就是那么烂，但我决定了，不再每天抱怨，我要每天在片场全力以赴。替你开心，谢谢

There's no reason why I shouldn't be the best bisexual go-go dancer slowly transforming into a killer gorilla anyone's ever seen. 我没理由不去做一只最出色的由双性恋艳舞女郎慢慢转化而成的绝世杀人大猩猩

I don't know, The bisexual gorilla go-go dancer in Schindler's List is tough to beat. 很难说哦，辛德勒名单里的双性恋艳舞猩女郎会很难击败的。

Ah, very good. Because a gorilla go-go dancer of any sexual preference would be out of place in a film about the Holocaust. 啊，好好笑哦，因为有任何性取向的艳舞猩女郎在大屠杀类型电影中都格格不入

It only gets funnier when you explain it, Sheldon. I know. 你解释完就更好笑了，谢尔顿。还用你说

Okay, she's all settled in the guest room. 好了，她已经在客房安顿好了

Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs. 也许我们得找个能帮她上楼梯的机器

You mean a forklift? Howie... I'm sorry. I just can't deal with this right now. 你是说铲车吗?华仔...抱歉。我只是现在应付不来了

Taking care of your own mother? How can you say that? 照顾不了自己的妈妈?你怎么这么说呢?

Bernie, she's gonna be off her feet for six to eight weeks. Are you prepared to feed her, wash her and take her to the toilet? 妮妮，她未来六到八周都将脚不沾地，你准备好喂她吃饭，帮她洗澡带她上厕所吗?

I would do it for my mother. Yeah, of course you would... you're a loving person. I'm what my people would call a putz. 我会为了我妈这么做，你当然会啦……你是个充满爱心的人，而我是犹太人口中的那个"混蛋"

Look, I'm not crazy about the idea, but what other choice do we have? 听着，我也不想这么做，但我们别无选择啊?

We get a nurse. Preferably someone from a Third World country who's used to suffering and unpleasant smells. 可以请护工啊。最好是个来自第三世界国家的吃得了苦，吸得了臭气

You'd hire a total stranger to take care of the woman who raised you? That's so cruel. 你要雇一个陌生人来照顾把你拉扯大的母亲?那也太残忍了

Not if we pay them well and let them listen to the music of their homeland. 我们给个好价钱就不是事儿啊，再让他们听听来自家乡的音乐

I need to tinkle! 我要尿尿!

Sounds like a job for a loving person. 似乎是对爱心人士的召唤呢

Would you like me to play some Polish music while you carry her to the toilet? 你带她上厕所的时候想来点波兰音乐吗?

You are a putz. 你真是个混蛋

As advertised. 如假包换

Thanks for coming with me. 谢谢你陪我来

Thanks for inviting me after everyone else said no. 谢谢在别人都拒绝你之后来邀请我

Aren't you gonna get 3-D glasses? 你不拿副3D眼镜吗?

I brought my own. 我带了自己的

No sense in risking bridge-of-nose herpes. 染上鼻梁疱疹可划不来

Is that a real thing? 真有那种病吗?

Well, until they invent nose condoms, I'm not finding out. 在他们发明出鼻套套前，我还不想求证

Emily! Hey! Oh, hey, Raj. Uh, this is my friend, Sheldon. Sheldon, this is Emily. 艾米丽！你好啊!噢，你好拉杰。这是我的朋友谢尔顿，谢尔顿，这是艾米丽

Oh, yes, you're the dermatologist. 哦对了，你是个皮肤科医生

I went for a walk yesterday without sunscreen. 我昨天散步的时候没涂防晒霜

Do you see anything on my forehead that I should be concerned about? 你看看我额头上有没有长了什么需要我留心的东西?

Um, you know what? I better go. My movie's about to start. 是这样，我得先走一步，我看的电影要开始了

Are you here alone? 你一个人来的吗?

No, not really. 不算是吧

What do you mean, "not really"? Hey, should we get our seats? Yeah. "不算是"是什么意思?我们进去找座位吧?好的

It was nice seeing you. Um, I'll call you later. Yeah, okay. 很高兴见到你，回头给你电话。好吧

That was awkward, right? 够尴尬，对吧?

Is it because she's dating you but was out with that other fellow? Yes. 是因为她明明在和你约会却又和别的男的一起出来吗?是

Good. I thought she saw something on my forehead. 太好了，还以为她真在我额头上发现什么

And... action. Please don't shut me out. Go away. Just go away. 开拍。请别把我拒之门外。你走吧。走吧

I swear, I will find a way to turn you back. 我发誓，我会找到把你变回来的方法

What gave you the right to mix my DNA with that of a killer gorilla? 是谁让你把我的DNA和那个杀人猿合在一起的?

I was trying to save your life. 我是想救你的命啊

Life? What life? Look at me! I'm a monster! 救命?什么命?你看看我!我就是个怪物!

And now I have blood on my hands, or paws. I don't know. 现在鲜血还沾在我手上，还是爪子上，我也不知道

You can't give up. I love you. I love you, too. 你不能放弃，我爱你。我也爱你

But I'm afraid I love killing more. 但我怕我更爱杀戮了

Like, one day, I might actually try and kill you! And... cut. All right. 也许有一天，我可能真的会杀了你!卡，好了

All right, let's set up for the next scene. Actually, you know what? Can we do one more? 好了，准备下一场。等下，咱们能不能再拍一遍?

I think I could do it better. 我觉得我能演得更好

Let's just move on. No one cares. 咱们还是继续吧，反正没人在意

Well, I care. I mean, look, if we're gonna do this, why not try and make it something we're actually proud of? 我在意啊，我的意思是既然都拍了，为什么不努力拍成一部让大家都骄傲的作品呢?

Look, sweetie, this movie is garbage, but you should be happy about that, 'cause if it was a good movie, you wouldn't be in it. 亲爱的，听着，这部电影就是垃圾。但你应该为此高兴，要是部好电影，你可什么戏份都拿不到了

Whoa, whoa, hang on. There's no need to insult her. 这位，悠着点啊，没必要羞辱她吧

And who are you? 你又是谁?

I'm her boyfriend. 我是她男朋友

Isn't she too hot for you? A little, yeah. 配你可惜了这位正妹吧?是有点

Well, boyfriend, get off my set. 好吧，男朋友，离开我的片场

You can't do that. He's with me. You know what? You can get off my set, too. You're fired. 你不能这样，他是跟我一起的，是么?那你也可以离开了，你被炒了

What? You can't fire me. I'm the star. I'm the girl that goes bananas. It says so on the poster. 什么?你不能开除我啊，我是主角，我可是那个抓狂的女主，海报都这么宣传了

Yeah, but we just shot the last scene where we see your face. 是啊，但我们刚刚拍完了你露脸的最后一幕

So from now own, the star of the movie is whoever wears this. 所以从现在开始，谁戴着这个，谁就是主角

Hey, if you're gonna fire her, then you have to fire me, too. 如果你想炒她，就把我一起炒了吧

Wow, that fell apart really fast. 我去，散得真快啊

Thanks for skipping the movie. 谢谢你为了我电影都没看

I couldn't sit in that theater for two hours wondering about Emily and that guy. 我不能够在影院干坐两小时，满脑子琢磨艾米丽和那个男的有什么猫腻

Oh, quite all right. 真没关系

After my forehead melanoma scare, I've learned not to sweat the small stuff. 经历了额头黑素瘤虚惊之后，那些小事都觉得是浮云了

Well, sorry, I don't have all the ingredients to make chai tea. 对不起，我这儿做印度拉茶的原料不齐

You don't have to make me anything. 你不用给我做什么的

No, I do. You're upset about Emily and you're Indian. I need to make you chai tea. 我要的，你在为艾米丽的事烦心而你是印度人，我要泡杯印度拉茶给你

Now, I have all the ingredients except cardamom seeds. 你看，除了小豆蔻，其他的原料我都有

Do you happen to have any on you? 你会不会碰巧随身带一些?

Sorry, I left them in my turban. 真对不住，我把它们忘在头巾里了

Oh, I'll make English breakfast tea. 我泡英式早餐茶给你好了

They destroyed your culture. That's close enough. 曾经的殖民地嘛，差不了多少

You know, I'm curious, why are you so upset about seeing Emily with another man? 其实，我很好奇，为什么见到艾米丽和其他男人在一起你会这么烦心呢?

Wouldn't you be upset if you saw Amy out with someone else?  如果艾米和其他男人出去，你不会心烦吗?

Can't happen. We have an ironclad relationship agreement which precludes her from physical contact with anyone other than me. 不会发生这种事的，我们有坚不可摧的恋爱契约明文规定除我之外，她不能和任何人有肢体接触

But you don't have sex with her, either. Slick, huh? 但是你也没有和她滚床单啊。我机智吧?

To be truthful, Emily and I haven't dated that long, and we never agreed to be exclusive to each other. 说实话，我和艾米丽交往的时间也不长，我们也没说要对彼此专一

Have you had intercourse? No. 你们性交了吗?没有

Well, stick to your guns. There will be a lot of pressure. 一定要坚持到底啊，尽管一路压力重重

I'm hungry again! 我又饿了!

It's like the world's fattest cuckoo clock. 感觉像是世界上最胖的布谷鸟时钟

You know, you're always talking about having a baby someday. 其实，你总在设想以后生孩子会怎么样

This is exactly what it's gonna be like. No, it's not. 其实就是像这样。才不是呢

Come on. The constant fussing, eating, pooping, burping, drooling. 得了吧，一直闹腾，吃，拉，打嗝，流口水

We're even waiting for the day when she can finally walk on her own. 甚至还要耐着性子等她自己会走路的那一天

Maybe you're right. Anything she finds on the floor goes right in her mouth. 也许你是对的，地上捡到什么她都能直接放进嘴里

I'm just telling you now, if we do have kids, don't expect me to do all the work. 我话先说在前头，如果我们真有小孩了，别指望我把什么事都包了

Hey, I'm a very paternal person. 嘿，我可是个非常有父爱的人

I'd be excellent at taking care of a baby. 照顾小孩方面我会是一把好手

I'm still hungry! I'm coming, you big baby! 我还饿!来了来了，你个巨婴!

You know, the only thing worse than doing a movie where they glue monkey hair to your ass is getting fired from a movie where they glue monkey hair to your ass. 能比拍一部屁股粘猴毛的电影，更糟的事就是你被一部屁股粘猴毛的电影炒了鱿鱼

Forget it, man, it's crap. 别想这事了，反正是部烂片

You just move on to the next thing. Yeah, well, it's easy for you to say. You used to be famous. 你就往前看吧。你说得轻巧，你也是出名过的

Hey. I just lost a job for you. 嘿，我刚刚为了你把工作都丢了

You're right, I'm sorry, you're famous. 对对，不好意思，你现在也出名

Penny, it's not about being famous. 佩妮，这不是出不出名的问题

It's about the art. 这是艺术的问题

It's about the passion we have for our craft. 是我们要对作品保持热情的问题

I have an audition for Sharknado 2! 我收到《鲨龙卷2》的试镜机会了!

If I book this, I am totally gonna pay you back for this beer. 要是拿下这个角色，我一定把酒钱还你们