Nicely done, Howard. 干的不错啊，霍华德

Well, my wife is fourfootten and sexually satisfied,so clearly I know my way around tiny things. 我妻子才一米五我能"搞"得定我当然知道该怎么对付小的东西

Good for you, on the cutting edge of new technology and still making inappropriate comments about the mother of your child. 你真行，现在科技都这么发达了你还用孩儿他妈开这么不政治正确的玩笑

Those are just the things I say out loud. 这还只是我敢说出口的呢

Gentlemen, we need to stop immediately. 先生们，我们得马上停下

What's wrong? 怎么回事?

I'm looking at the math,and I think we can make the device between eight and ten percent smaller. 我才看了一眼公式我觉得我们能把设备做的比原来小百分之八到十

That's great, but the Air Force approved the specs. 那不错啊，但是空军方面已经批准了规格

We're good to go. 我们已经完工了

Yeah. It doesn't need to be smaller. Shame on you. 嗯，不用再把它缩小了，真不害臊

Where would we be if poodle breeders had that attitude? I'll tell you. 如果贵宾犬饲养员也是你这种态度怎么办?告诉你吧

We would have the standard and the miniature poodle,but no toy or teacup. 我们有标准和微型的贵宾犬但是没有玩具贵宾犬或茶杯贵宾犬

Which by the way,is not an officially recognized breed,but that's just poodle politics. 这两种也并不是官方认证繁殖的但这只是贵宾犬政治罢了

Can we please stop talking about poodles? 我们能不讨论贵宾犬吗?

Fine. Candy bars. 好啊，巧克力条

Now, do you enjoy a fun size? I know you do. 你喜欢小包装的吗?我知道你喜欢

Sheldon, we don't need to make this smaller. 谢尔登我们不需要再把它做小了

Your work is done. Go home. 你的工作已经完成了，回家吧

I don't want to go home. 我不想回家

Fine, go for a little walk. Then what? Just keep walking. 那好，出去溜个弯吧然后干嘛?你就一直走吧

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state 宇宙一度又烫又稠密，

Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! 140亿年前终于爆了炸...等着瞧!

The Earth began to cool 地球开始降温，

The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools 自养生物来起哄，穴居人发明工具，

We built the Wall We built the pyramids 我们建长城，我们建金字塔，

Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery 数学，自然科学，历史，揭开神秘

That all started with a big bang 一切由大爆炸开始，

At least it's quiet when he takes bathroom breaks.I know. 至少他去上厕所之后能安静一会，是啊

That's why I keep refilling his water when he's not looking. 所以我才在他不注意时候一直给他杯子里加水

You're kidding. 不会吧

I don't care if we're in a drought, it's worth it. 我才不关心我们没水喝呢，这值得

You know, I... I do have a way to get him out of our hair. 你知道吗，我...我确实有种能让他不再烦人的办法

I've been holding onto this for a few years, but maybe now's the time. 这方法我已经留了好多年了但估计时候到了

W... We can just lock the door， you don't have to kill him. 我...我们就把门锁好就行了，你用不着杀他的，

You can't kill him. He'll just respawn at the last save point. 你杀不死他的，他会在上一个记录点复活

Oh, that was my sixth trip to the bathroom. 我都去了六趟厕所了

As long as that's not a urinary tract infection,that's a personal best. 如果不是尿道感染的话我可是创新高了呢

Hey, uh, buddy, I got you a little present.Really? 嘿，小伙计，我给你准备了一个小礼物，真的吗?

Yeah. Go ahead, open it. "Congratulations. " 嗯，去打开它吧，祝贺你

The bearer of this certificate is entitled to the ultimate train experience at The Nevada Northern Railway. 持有此证明的人可以享受内华达北部铁路的终极火车体验

You are at the throttle. 你就在加速手柄前边

You are the engineer. 你就是那工程师

You are running the locomotive." 你将会驾驶火车头"

This doesn't happen very often,but here comes a hug. 这可不经常发生来抱一个

Oh, dear! I have to tinkle again! 天啊!我又想嘘嘘了!

Okay. Where were we? 我们刚才说到哪了?

For Howie's occupation,should I include that he was an astronaut? 关于豪伊的职业我应该把航天员这项也加进去吗?

Well, he mentioned it in his mother's eulogy, so why not? 他在他妈妈的悼文里也提到了，为什么不写?

I can't believe you have to fill out a preschool application for an infant. 真想不到你得给一个婴儿填幼儿园申请表

Uh, the one at Caltech has a crazy wait list. 加州理工那个幼儿园的等候名单超级长

I warned you, a lot of people apply 我警告过你，很多人在

when they're still pregnant.  Well, I didn't. 怀孕时候就开始申请了， 但我没有

I also skipped a birthing class to see Zootopia, so back off. 我还为了看疯狂动物城翘了一节生育课，你闭嘴吧

Whoa. Just trying to help. 我只是想帮忙而已

Sorry. Howie's back at work and there's just so much going on. 不好意思，豪伊又去工作了，最近事情还特别多

Is there anything we can do? 我们能帮你什么吗?

Sure. Open up a college fund, shop for life insurance, and in the laundry room, there's a mountain of dirty laundry. 好啊，开个账户开始为孩子上大学存钱买个人寿保险，还有洗衣房里面脏衣服都堆成山了

Wash it or burn in, your choice. 是洗还是烧，你说了算

Ugh, be right back. 呃，马上就回来

No, no. I will take care of it. 别别，我去照顾她

Oh, thank you. 谢谢你

While I'm gone, you can think about how mean you were to me. 我不在的时候你可以想想你对我是多么刻薄

All right, you know what you need? 行了，你知道你最需要什么吗?

A night away from all of this. 一个远离这一切的晚上

You know, where you can just kind of relax and... 找个你能放松的地方然后...

I'm just gonna... turn this off. 我就是想...把这个关了

Much better.Seriously, let's plan a night,  you know, give you a break. 好多了说真的，我们计划一个晚上吧来给你放松一下

We could go dancing. 我们可以去跳舞啊

That sounds really nice.  Oh. 听起来不错啊， 哦

All this week, the Early Music Society of Pasadena is doing a joint concert with the San Gabriel Renaissance Choir. 这一整周，帕萨迪纳古乐社团会联合圣盖博文艺复兴唱诗班举办音乐会

Okay, that's the one to beat.Good luck. 还真是无法拒绝，祝你好运

People have been saying that for 600 years. 六百年了也没人能拒绝

Hey, you're home early. 嘿，你今天回来很早啊

You'll never believe it. 你不会相信的

Leonard gave me the most incredible gift,a trip to a historic railway, and I get to operate an actual locomotive. 莱纳德给了我一个最难以置信的礼物去一个历史上着名的铁路而且我有机会驾驶一个真正的火车头

Wow. He finally used it. What'd you do? No idea. 哇哦，他最后还是用了你准备怎么办?不知道

All I know is I'm gonna be working on the railroad all the livelong day. 我现在只知道我要在铁路上待一整天（着名美国民谣的歌词）

Well, I'm really happy for you. 哦，我真为你高兴

Oh, no. It's not just me. No. 哦，不，不只是我，不

The railway is four hours from the nearest airport,and guess who gets to drive me. 铁路离最近的机场要开四个小时的车程猜猜谁会开车载我

I give up. You! No. I really give up. 我放弃，就是你!不，我真的放弃

Oh, oh. And guess where we get to sleep? 哦，哦，猜猜我们会住在哪?

Our choice of a turnofthecentury railway bunkhouse or a working caboose. 我们可以住在一个上世纪的简易铁路宿舍或者是一节工作车厢

Now, the problem with a caboose is there's no bathroom, but the problem with the bunkhouse is it's not a caboose. 现在，工作车厢的问题在于没有卫生间但是宿舍的问题在于它不是一节车厢

On the first day,I get to drive a steam engine. 第一天，我可以开一个蒸汽机车

Oh, and the second day, a diesel engine. 哦，然后第二天，柴油机车

Oh, and if I volunteer to do track maintenance and paperwork, they'll let me stay as long as I want. 哦，然后如果我自愿帮助维护铁路再交份申请，他们会让我想待多久就待多久

So you might want to pack enough clothes for the rest of our lives. 所以你最好是把我们这辈子的衣服都打包上

Can I pee now?Oh, get this! 我能上厕所吗?哦，看看这个!

I get to take a test based on a 125page manual. 我会根据一个125页的手册参加一个考试

I get to learn things like hand signals. Ooh. 我会学习手势之类的东西，哦

There's forward, uh, reverse,set the brakes. 这是向前，倒退刹车

Are you done yet? 你好了吗?

You're missing some great stuff out here. 你错过了一个亿

Oh, this is good. 哦，这个真棒

There are dozens of railroad crossings you have to blow the whistle for. 有几十个铁路岔路口你要鸣笛

But that is the figurative you, not the literal you. 但是这个是比喻的你，不是字面的你

I'll be blowing the whistle. 我会鸣笛

Amy, get up. It's time to go to work. 艾米起来了，该开始工作了

This train thing worked out better than I thought. 火车那个主意比我想的要有用

He's home studying the engineer's manual. 他在自学那个工程师的小册子

It's so peaceful without him here. 他不在这真是太平静了

Can I ask you how much that cost? 我能问问你花了多少钱吗?

$4,000... worth every penny. Gentlemen. 4000美元...但是每一分都是值得的先生们

Colonel Williams. Sir. 威廉斯上校，长官

Just wanted to see how the guidance system's coming along. 只是来看看引导系统做得怎么样

Great. We found a cooling solution that allowed us to get the size of the prototype down to the target specs. 好极了，我们发现了一个冷却的方法能让我们把模型做到标准的大小

As a cooling solution, it's pretty cool. 作为一个冷却方法，是不是挺冷酷的

Don't do that. What's this? 不好笑，这是什么?

Oh, nothing. Just some math we don't need. 哦，什么都不是，就是我们已经不用的一些计算步骤

This is a different approach. 这是另一种方法

Are you trying to get the guidance system even smaller? 你们是想把引导系统做得更小吗?

It's just a theory. 这只是个理论

Uh, it's not even worked out.Oh.I want this. 甚至都没有完成，哦，我想要这个

But we've already met the agreed upon specs. 但是我们已经达到了之前谈好的标准

Going smaller would require weeks' worth of new computations. 做得更小的话需要好几周的新的计算

So get the kid with the two shirts to do it. 那就让那个总穿两件的小鬼来做

Sir, uh, iif I may, uh, we've put a lot of thought and effort into this current prototype. 长官，额，如果不冒犯的话，我们为了这个模型付出了很多的想法和时间

It's a really elegant solution,and most importantly, it works. 这是一个很棒的解决方案最重要的是，它有效

Yeah, I want this. 嗯，我想要这个

But that's just a theory. 但是这只是一个理论

It's not even a complete thought. 甚至不是一个完整的想法'

You both make excellent points. 你们的观点都很好

And thank you for presenting it so articulately.Make this. 感谢你们表达得如此清楚，做这个

The kid with the two shirts screwed us again. 穿两件的小鬼又把我们耍了

All right. You guys ready to get crazy? 好了，准备好疯狂了吗?

Well, the bra under here ain't beige.Okay. 嗯，今天的内衣不是米黄色的，好的

You ladies have fun tonight. 女士们玩得愉快

Don't worry about Halley. Uncle Stuart's on the job. 别担心哈雷?斯图尔特叔叔会照顾好他的

Under the careful supervision of her godfather. 在她的教父的仔细照料之下

My apologies. I didn't mean to offend you, Don Corleone. 我道歉，我没有冒犯你的意思，柯里昂教父

Like I said, you ladies have fun. 像我说的，你们玩得愉快

We will. Got my dancing shoes, got my breast pump. 我们会的，我的舞鞋穿了，抽乳器带了

Let's party.You know, if you pump at the bar,I promise we'll get free drinks. 我们去狂欢吧，你知道的，如果你在酒吧用吸乳器我保证我们会有免费的饮料喝

Call if there's any problems. 如果有什么问题给我打电话

No. She's busy. You call Howard.Got it. 不，她很忙，你给霍华德打电话，知道了

Call me. Don't call Howard. 给我打电话，不要打给霍华德

I would never call Howard. 我绝不会给霍华德打电话的

Okay, instead of arguing all night,let's just split up the baby chores. 好了，为了不要整晚争吵让我们分分工

Yeah, great. Um, I'll put food in her top half,you deal with whatever comes out the bottom. 好的，棒极了，我负责她的进食你负责她的排泄

I can't believe we have to ask Sheldon to come back and help us. 我不敢相信我们居然需要谢尔登回来帮我们

Oh, boohoo.I spent four grand on a gift that only got rid of him for an afternoon. 哦我花了4000美金买这样一个礼物结果只摆脱了他一个下午

What is that? 是什么声音?

I don't know, but if he yells,"It's alive," we run.Oh, hey. 我不知道，但那时如果他喊"是活的"我们就跑哦，嘿

If you knocked, I couldn't hear you. 如果你们敲了门，我听不见

I'm welding this locomotive engine. 我在焊接这个火车发动机

And if you didn't knock, how about some manners? 如果你们没敲门，那你们的礼貌呢?

How'd you even get that up the stairs? 你究竟是怎么把这玩意弄上楼的?

I said to myself, "I think I can, I think I can." 我对自己说，"相信自己，相信自己"

And then I couldn't, so... 结果还是不行，所以...

I paid two men who promised not to come rob us later. 我雇了两个答应待会儿不会过来抢劫的男人

Okay, look, Sheldon, the Colonel wants us to make the guidance system smaller,and we can't do it without you. 谢尔登上校让我们把导向系统做得更小些没你我们做不了