Are you kidding me? 你开玩笑吗?

Why don't you just tell him you don't want to go? 你为什么不直接跟他说你不想去呢?

I can't, it'll break his heart. 我不能啊，那会让他心碎的

You know, he's always making an effort to do things with me he doesn't enjoy, like going outside. 你知道的，他一直努力陪我做他不喜欢的事比如出门

He is an indoor cat. 他确实是只家养喵

You know, maybe it won't be that bad. 其实说不定也不会那么糟糕的

Leonard says it's really mainstream now. 莱纳德说这个现在已经很主流了

Comic books aren't just for sad nerds anymore. 漫画已经不只是屌丝在看了

I mean, it is still a key part of their demographic. 好吧，屌丝还是占了一大部分

Howie, can you get that? Kind of busy. 豪伊能去开个门吗?有点忙啊

Busy like I'll be with the baby if you go to San Diego? Hey. 就像你去圣地亚哥的时候我一个人带孩子那么忙吗?嘿

What's with the gloves? 你戴着手套干嘛?

They complete my ensemble. What do you want? 要穿就穿全套，你来干嘛呀?

I'm looking to make extra money and was wondering if you had any chores I could do. Hang on. 我在想办法赚外快想问问你有没有什么家务我能做的，等等

Bernie, can I outsource my chores to an Indian guy?No.I tried. 伯尼我能不能把我的家务外包给一个印度人啊?不行我尽力了

Hey, I was thinking,if you want to do a couples costume,we could paint ourselves green and be Hulk and SheHulk. 我在想如果你想跟我来个情侣装扮的话我们可以把自己涂成绿色来扮演男女浩克啊

Or we could paint ourselves blue and go as Nightcrawler and Mystique. 或者我们也可以把自己涂成蓝色扮成夜行者和魔形女

Is there any scenario where we're not in full body paint? 有没有什么选择让我们不需要上全身彩啊?

Yeah, if you want us to look like losers. 有，如果你想让我们看上去跟卢瑟一样的话

Hey, um, are you sure the guys are okay with me coming? 呃，你确定你的小伙伴们都觉得我去没问题吗?

Yeah, of course, why? 是啊，当然，怎么啦?

This is just something you usually do together,and if I'm screwing it up, I don't have to go. 这是你们通常一起做的事嘛如果破坏你们兄弟情谊，我其实不是必须去

Oh, why? Do you not want to go? 是吗，为什么啊?你不想去吗?

Why? Do you not want me to go? 怎么啦?你不想我去吗?

No, I want you to go. 不，我想要你去的

Okay, good, 'cause that's what I want, too. 好的，很好，这也是我想要的

Now we're going as Hulk and SheHulk. 所以现在我们要扮成男女浩克一起去

I don't want to take my shirt off at ComicCon. 我不想在漫展把上衣脱掉啊

If I may speak for ComicCon, we don't want that either. Is that nice? 如果让我代表漫展发表评论，我们也不想你脱啊你这么说好吗?

No, but it's honest, and it sounds like you could use a little more honesty in your relationship. 不好啊，但是这是实话，而你听上去需要在你们的关系中多一些实话啊

Uh, iit's more complicated than that. 可是这没有这么简单的

I'm always honest with Amy. 我跟艾米就一直很诚实

The other day she said she was selfconscious about the beauty mark on her shoulder,and I said, "You know, 上次有一天她说她很在意她肩膀上的一个美人胎记然后我就说"其实"

"you can call that a beauty mark all you want. " 不管你想怎么叫它

When there's hair growing out of it, that's a mole." 当它长了毛的时候，那就是颗痣"

Do you think she's as honest with you? 你觉得她跟你也这么诚实吗?

I should hope so. 我希望是啊

When she called me an insensitive jerk,I'd like to think she meant it. 当她管我叫不懂体贴的垃圾的时候我比较愿意认为她是认真的

There's got to be other ways you can make a quick buck. 肯定还会有什么其他方法让你能快速赚钱的

Yeah, you'd think. 是啊，都这么觉得啊

Ooh, maybe I could sell my blood and sperm. 哦，说不定我能去卖血卖精啊

I really should wear a bell around my neck so you guys can hear me coming. 我真的应该在脖子上挂个铃这样你们就能听到我什么时候过来了

Here, let me help you. Thank you. 来，让我帮你，谢谢

Oh, Double Stuf Oreos,I remember when I could afford you. 哇塞，双层夹心奥利奥犹记得我买得起你的日子

There she goes. Stay, I'll get her. 她又开始了，你待在这里，我去就行了

Appreciate it.  That's fine. 谢谢啦，没事

She and I can cry together. 我们可以一起哭

He's such a sweetie. 他真贴心

I know, I wish there was some way we could help him. 我知道，我希望我们能帮帮他

If he could find a girl with a good job,all his problems would be over. 如果他能找到一个工作不错的姑娘他的烦恼就都解决了

Yeah, that's working out great for me. 是的，看看我的下场

Penny says they're ready to go.Very well. 佩妮说他们准备好可以出发了好的

Prepare for a long night of deceit. 准备好了伪装一晚上

Sheldon, women can wear makeup, it's not lying. 谢尔登女人是可以化妆的的，这不算说谎

I was talking about Leonard. 我在说莱纳德

And if makeup is so truthful,why is it called "concealer"? 如果妆化得那么真实那为什么叫"遮瑕霜"?

Wait, wait, wait, what's Leonard lying about? 等等，莱纳德隐瞒了什么?

He doesn't really want Penny to go to ComicCon. 他其实不想让佩妮去漫展

He's just doing it to make her happy. Really? 他是为了让她高兴才同意的真的吗?

Because she doesn't actually want to go. 因为她其实不想去

She's just doing it to make him happy. 她只是为了让他高兴

So they're both trying to make each other happy,and the end result is they make each other sad? 所以他们都只是想让彼此高兴结果是他们都把对方搞得很难过?

That's hilarious. I can't wait to tell them. 太好笑了，我得马上告诉他们

No, you're not gonna tell them anything. 不，你什么都不能说

You're gonna stay out of it.Why? 你必须置身事外，为什么?

Because it's between them. 因为这是他们两个人之间的事情

Well, if you haven't noticed,I've been between them for the last ten years. 嗯，可能你没注意我过去十年一直夹在他们两个人之间

Hey.  Hello. Hey, babe, you want to drive? 嘿，嗨嘿，宝贝，你想开车吗?

Sure, or you can. 当然，或者你开也可以

No, it's fine, I know you don't like the way I drive. 不，没关系的，我知道你不喜欢我开车的方法

I don't have a problem with your driving. 我对你开车没什么意见

Are you listening to this? 你听到了吗?

They deceive each other about everything. Shh. 他们基本所有事情上都欺骗对方嘘

Just so you know, that guy in the parking lot hit me. 就是告诉你，那个人在停车场撞了我

He wasn't in a car, but okay. 他压根没开车，不过你说了算

Just say you want to drive. I honestly don't. 说你想开车就可以了，我真的不想

Amy, do us a favor, please drive. Sure, happy to. 艾米帮我们一个忙，你开吧。当然，没问题

If you want to drive, just drive. 如果你想开，就开吧

I don't see why this has to be so complicated. 我不明白这为什么要搞得这么复杂

It's not complicated. Amy's driving, that's it! 不复杂，艾米开车，就这样!

That's not it because you're clearly upset. 不是这么回事因为你明显不开心

You're the one who seems upset. 你才不开心呢

Why would I be upset? 我为什么不开心?

Because you don't want her to go to ComicCon! 因为你不想让她去漫展!

This is an interesting way to stay out of it. 真是个置身事外的好方法

Wait, you don't want me to go? 等等，你不想让我去?

Well, I just don't think you're gonna have a good time. 嗯，我只是觉得你不会玩得开心

Yeah, well, get this:neither does Penny, that's why she doesn't want to go. 是啊，巧了佩妮也这么认为所以她也不想去

You set 'em up, I knock 'em down, good job. 你冲锋，我断后，干得好

Why would you say you wanted to go if you didn't? 如果你不想我去的话为什么说你想?

I just thought it would make you happy. 我只是觉得那样你会开心

Okay, hold on, so if you don't want to go and I don't need to bring you, is everything good? 好吧，所以如果你不想去那我就不用带你去，事情都解决了?

Hold on, I'm trying to decide if I'm mad at you. 等等，我在考虑要不要跟你生气

No, I'm happy I don't have to go. 不，我很开心，我不用去了

All right, problem solved.  Okay. 好的，问题解决，好的

Yeah. Not entirely,the fight over who's going to drive is still... 还没完呢关于谁开车...

Oh, my God, stop talking! 哦，天呐，闭嘴!

The place looks great. 这看起来真不错

Did you guys get a maid?Kind of. 你们是请了一个保姆吗?算是吧

Dinner's almost ready. 晚饭差不多好了

If you like meatloaf, I'm sure you'll like its cousin,bowl of meat. 如果你们喜欢肉卷，我相信你们会喜欢他的兄弟肉堆

Hey, if you're still looking to make money,I will pay you to burn that jacket. 嘿，如果你还在想办法赚钱我也可以花钱雇你

Thank you, but it doesn't look like I'm going to ComicCon this year. 谢啦，但是可能我今年不会去漫展了

Well, with as much debt as you have,probably not next year either. 嗯，看看你现在的负债可能明年也不会去了

Howie? Sure. Howie?This is for you.What's this? 当然这个是给你的这个是什么?

It's back pay for all the babysitting and taking care of Halley you've done. 这个是给你的照顾哈雷的报酬

There's more than enough in there to cover ComicCon. 足够你去漫展了

Um, I also take care of Halley. 嗯，我也照顾了哈雷

And you live here for free. 你免费住在了这里

I do, ma'am, thank you, ma'am. 是的，女士，谢谢，女士

This is so generous of you, II, um, I don't know what to say. 你们太慷慨了，我，我不知道该说什么了

Now you can come with us. 这样你就可以跟我们一起去了

Yeah, there's room in the bed by Sheldon's feet. 是的，谢尔顿脚旁边还有地方

As much as I appreciate this,I can't accept it.Okay? 尽管我很感激但是我不能接受好吗?

Halley's my goddaughter,  I don't take care of her for money.I would. 我是哈雷的教父我照顾她不是为了赚钱我是

Keep it. Consider it a gift. Hold on. 拿着吧，就当是礼物等等

Is it back pay or is it a gift? 这个是报酬还是礼物?

What's the difference? 有什么区别吗?

When the IRS questions us in separate rooms,we need to have our stories straight. 当税务局把我们分开询问的时候我们必须统一口径

It doesn't matter.I'm not keeping this. 这不重要，我不会收的

I'm trying to pay my own way and be responsible. 我得用我自己的方法来付钱并且负起责任

Taking handouts won't help that. 拿你们的钱是不行的

So you're not going to ComicCon? 所以你不去漫展了?

I've been plenty of times. 我去过很多次了

If I miss one, it's fine. I'm a big boy. 错过一次也没关系，我是大人了

I'm a big boy, and if I missed one,I'd throw a bigboy tantrum. 我是大人了，如果我错过了一次我就会发一个大人的脾气

You know what? I've gone 12 times. 你知道吗?我去过12次了

Maybe I'll sit out this year, too.Really? Yeah. 也许我今年也不去了，这么吗?好的

Maybe you and I can do something fun that weekend. 也许今年我们可以用这个周末做点有意思的事情

Ooh, how about whitewater rafting? 哦，我们去漂流怎么样?

Oh... how about we compromise and go on the Small World ride at Disneyland? 哦...不如我们妥协一下去迪士尼的小小世界去坐船玩?

You know what, I'm not gonna go either. 你们知道吗，我也不准备去

I'm a father now. 我是一个父亲了

I'd rather spend time with my family. 我要花时间跟我的家庭在一起

You just don't want to go alone with Sheldon. 你只是不想自己和谢尔顿去

I'm gonna go check on dinner. 我去看看晚饭怎么样了

Sounds like everyone's staying home. 听起来大家都准备待在家里

What do you say? 你呢?

Nuts to that, I'm going to ComicCon!By yourself?Not necessarily. 不管这些，我要去漫展!你自己去?没关系

I have four months to find some new friends. 我有四个月的时间来找新朋友

I'll go with you. 我跟你一起去

That's very kind of you, Stuart. 你真好，斯图尔特

Check back in with me in July. 七月的时候你再问我吧

There's my pretty girlfriend. 啊，我漂亮的女朋友

I'm not going with you to ComicCon. 我不会跟你一起去漫展的

What? Can't a man just be happy to see his woman and pat her on her second most erogenous ballandsocket joint? 什么?一个男人难道就不能单纯看看他的女人然后拍拍她第二敏感的关节部位吗?

He can, but it's still not changing my mind. 可以，但是我不会改变主意

Well, maybe what's in my pants will change your mind. 嗯，也许我裤子里的东西可以让你改变主意

It's a list of this year's panelists.It's long, isn't it? 是今年的嘉宾名单。真长，是不是?