Wait, you don't remember? 你全都不记得了吗?

Well, I remember waking up in the morning,Amy rubbing Vicks on my chest.  我还记得早上起了床艾米在我胸口上擦药

And her hands were like two frozen chunks of tundra. 她的手就像冻原上的两个冰块

I took some cold medicine to...  我吃了一些感冒药...

I took cold medicine. 哦，我吃了感冒药

You did seem a little loopy when you showed up at the lab. At... at the lab?! 你在实验室的时候看上去确实晕晕的，在...在实验室?!

Why am I naked from the waist down? 为什么我腰部以下是全裸的?

I don't know where your pants are,but we did find your underwear in a pot on the stove. 我不知道你的裤子在哪儿但我在炉子上的锅里找到了你的内裤

My pants are missing, I don't remember anything. 我的裤子不见了，我什么也不记得

Penny, this is your youth. What do I do?  佩妮你是过来人，我该做什么?

I don't know,check your body for tattoos? 我不知道看看身上有没有被纹身?

Leonard, would you be a lamb...She's kidding!  莱纳德你能不能帮我...她说着玩的!

Wait, wait. Where's my bag? My phone and my wallet are in my bag.  It's right here.  等等，我的包呢?我的手机和我的钱包都在我的包里，包在这儿呢

Where's my notebook? My notebook's gone. Oh, no. 我的笔记本呢?我的笔记本不见了

Okay, it's just a notebook, what's the big deal? 只是个笔记本而已，有什么大不了的?

What's the big deal? 有什么大不了的?

It's full of classified information about the air force project! 那里面全是机密信息和空军的那个项目有关的!

How could you lose that? 你怎么能把那个弄丢了呢?

It's okay, I'm sure we'll find it. 没事，我们会找到的

Look, it's got to be around here somewhere. 一起找找，应该就在这周围才对

Maybe it's wherever your pants are. 说不定和你裤子在一起

Nope, pants in the microwave, no notebook. Hey.Ah, hello. 没，裤子在微波炉里呢，笔记本不在这儿，嘿，你好啊

Look, something's going on with Bernadette.  伯纳黛特有点不对劲

She say anything to you? 她有和你说什么吗?

Well, nope, not a word. 一个字都没说

Come on, be honest. 别骗我啊

Did you tell her I tried her breast pump? 你是不是告诉她我偷偷用了她的吸奶器?

No, but I did mention it to my therapist. 没，但是我和我的治疗师提了

Well, I know she's mad at me about something. 我知道她因为某些事情在生我的气

Well, what have you done that would upset her? 你做了什么让她不爽的事情了?

Oh, gosh, how much time do you have? 多了去了，你要全部听吗?

Well, why don't you just start with the worst thing? 那你就从后果最严重的一件说起吧

Hmm, let's see. Mm. Okay, here we go: six years ago,I got a call that Bernie's greataunt, Trixie, died. 我想想啊哦，有了，六年前我接到电话，伯尼的祖舅妈特里克茜死了

And? And I forgot to give her the message. 然后呢?我忘了告诉她了

That's terrible.The terrible part is, ever since then,I've been sending Bernie Christmas cards from Trixie. 这也太过分了。最糟糕的是，从那儿以后，我就一直给伯尼寄从特里克茜那里发来的圣诞卡片

Oh...Howard! Let me finish... and one card had five dollars in it I took from Bernie's purse. 噢...太过分了!还有...有一张贺卡里附了五块钱但那也是我从伯尼的钱包里拿的

The notebook isn't in the bathroom. 洗手间里没有笔记本

I can't find it, either. 我也没找到

How can he not remember a day? 他怎么能失忆一整天?

Well, people who are abducted by aliens lose time. 被外星人绑架的人，一般都会这样

I mean, maybe it happens to the aliens, too. 可能，外星人自己也会失忆吧

Well, it's not across the hall. 隔壁也没有

That's it. I'm in breach of my security clearance. 完了，我违反了保密条例

I'm going to prison. 我得坐牢了

And you know what happens to people like me in prison. 而且，我这种人在监狱里肯定没好下场

I'll be forced to be some large man's tutor. 肌肉男会逼我当家教的

You're not going to prison. 你不会坐牢的

But, boy, it is funny to think about. 不过想想就很刺激啊

You really can't remember anything? I'm trying. 你真的什么都想不起来了?我尽力了

Wait a minute. Hey, let me see your phone.Why? 等下，把你手机给我干什么?

Well, it's... it's possible it was tracking everywhere you went. 有...有可能手机的定位，记录了你都去过哪里

Phones can do that? 手机还有这功能?

Yeah, it depends on the privacy settings. 是啊，看你怎么设置的隐私选项了

Oh, tha... that's so cool. 这么...这么神奇

How do you... how do you turn that thing off? Relax. 不过...怎么才能关掉这个功能?别紧张

I know when you "go for a run," you stop for a donut. 我知道你去"跑步"的时候，会买个甜甜圈

I don't even run there, I drive. 我都不是跑去的，我开车去的

Hang on, I can see every place you went. 等下，我知道你都去过哪里了

What does it say? 什么情况?

Uh, you were in the building, you were at the university,then you were somewhere on Colorado Boulevard.Where? 你先是在公寓里然后去了学校后来又去了科罗拉多大道什么?

Wait, hang on.Did you go to a cowboy bar? I... no!That is preposterous.Ow!Maybe. 等等。你去了牛仔酒吧?我...不可能!绝对不可能，嗷!还真有可能

Hey, how's it going?Fine.Good. Love you.Love you, too.  Love you more. 嗨，工作怎么样了?挺好，爱你呀。我也爱你， 我更爱你

Okay, you won. Can I finish what I'm doing? Sure, sorry. 好吧，你赢了，能别烦我了吗?当然，抱歉

Something on your mind? No, no, nothing. 你想说什么?没啊，没有

Okay, well, maybe I'm just feeling like something's bothering you. 好吧，我只是觉得你好像心里有事

Nope, all good.Prove it, make love to me right now on the kitchen floor. 没有，我挺好的。那你证明给我看，现在就和我在厨房来一发，怎么样

No, what is wrong with you? 才不要，你想什么呢?

Aha, you are upset. 啊哈，你就是不爽了

I don't know a lot about women, but I know I upset them. 虽然我不懂女人，但是我知道我总惹你们生气

Howard, I'm sorry if I'm being weird,but it has nothing to do with you. It doesn't? No. 霍华德对不起，我最近总是黑着脸不过这和你真的没关系。是吗?是啊

I didn't want to tell you, but... 我本来不想告诉你的...

I'm having a really tough time about going back to work. 但是，想到要回去上班，我真的有点发怵

Oh. Okay, well, I get that. 这样啊，我懂的

It was hard for me when I went back. 我刚回去上班的时候，也是这种感觉

It was?  Of course. 真的吗? 是啊

I missed you and the baby and being able to watch Ellen every day. 我会想你和宝宝也有点想念可以天天看艾伦秀的日子

I just don't know what the right thing to do is. 我现在有点不知道该怎么办了

If I go back to work, I'm abandoning Halley. 如果我回去上班，就好像是抛弃了哈雷

If I don't go, I'm giving up everything I worked for. 不上班的话又相当于放弃了之前的努力

It's like there's no right choice. 好像怎么做都不对

Look, I don't know what the best decision is, either. 嘿，虽然我也不知道怎么样比较好

But whatever we choose, if we're not happy,we can undo it. I guess. 不过，不管我们怎么做，只要我们不开心，就可以重新做选择。说得对

And the best part is: Halley won't remember a thing. 而且，反正哈雷什么都不会记得

Babies are cute, but they're dumb. 小宝宝虽然很可爱，但他们也很傻

I mean, I... I go like this,she thinks I'm gone. Then magically I'm back. I mean... 我的意思是我...这样的时候她就觉得我消失了，然后我又神奇地出现了...

Honestly, why are we saving for college? 讲真，我们何必要她存钱给她上大学?

I'm not crazy about you calling our baby dumb. 你觉得宝宝傻这件事，我也是不想说什么了

Well, she gets it from me. 好吧，是遗传我的

Speaking of which,I have some news about your Aunt Trixie. 说到这有件关于特里克茜祖舅妈的事我得告诉你

Radio blastin' all night Truck bed's a carriage... 广播整夜喧嚣，坐在车箱里的旅行...

Does this place look familiar? It's hard to say. 你看这里眼熟吗?不好说啊

Hey, Sheldon's back!Sheldon! 嗨，谢尔顿又来了!谢尔顿来了!

It's getting clearer. 事情明了了一些

You gonna buy another round for the house? 你要不要再请大家喝一轮?

Uh, n... no, thank you. 呃，算...算了吧

We now know why MasterCard sent me a fraud alert. Ask him. 现在我知道为什么，银行提醒我信用卡诈骗了。快问问啊

Um, yes.Howdy, partner.  Howdy那个，老兄

Do you happen to recollect if I left a notebook in these here parts? 你印象里，我有没有把一个笔记本落在这片儿了?

These here parts? 你干嘛这么说话?

It's called fitting in. By the way, good luck. 这是行话，好好学学吧你

Here you go.Thank goodness! 给你，谢天谢地!

One top secret quantum guidance system. 这可是有关量子漩涡系统的顶级机密呢

You understood the math? 你能看懂里面的算式?

No, but Sheldon told me all about it. 看不懂，不过谢尔顿都告诉我了

He told everybody. 大家都知道了

That's just great. 真棒

Oh, don't worry,he made us pinky swear we'd keep it a secret.I swear...I swear...not to tell anyone...not to tell anyone... 别担心他让我们和他拉钩，保证不说出去。我发誓...我发誓...不向任何人透露...不向任何人透露...

the top secret military information I'm about to tell you. 我即将告诉你们的高级军事机密

The top secret military information 我即将告诉你们的

I'm about to tell you. 高级军事机密

We really need to skedaddle. 我们还是赶紧跑吧

Thank you.  Bye.See you. 谢啦，拜拜，再见

Should probably erase this. 我好像应该把这黑板擦了

Thank you for making me tea. 谢谢你给我泡茶

You're welcome. How is it? 不用谢，好喝吗?

Yummy. And warm on my back. 超好喝，而且背上还特别暖和

Do you need anything else? 我还能帮你干点别的吗?

You know exactly what I need. Fine. 你懂我的。好吧

Soft kitty, warm kitty 猫猫软，猫猫暖，

Little ball of fur 小小绒毛一团团，

Happy kitty, sleepy kitty   猫猫欢笑，猫猫睡觉，

Purr, purr, purr. 喵，喵，喵，

That's nice. 真有爱

Now in German.  Great. 用德语唱一遍吧以免我们这样乱编好棒

Now Mandarin. Now Navajo. 普通话呢软绵绵的小猫咪别问我们这是什么方言毛茸茸快乐并且静悄猫咪咕噜，咕噜，咕噜还有纳瓦霍语，纳瓦霍是美国最大的印第安部落