Did I say something wrong? 我说错话了吗?

No, it's always him. 不，错的人总是他

So, Bert, you were telling us how you updated your profile? 所以你是怎么更新个人简介的呢

Right. I wasn't getting any responses, and then I added,"Recent $625,000 MacArthur grant winner", 因为无人问津，我就加上了最近获得625000刀的麦克阿瑟奖

and five minutes later,I met my soul mate. 五分钟后，我就认识了灵魂伴侣

I was wrong. You can come back in. 我错了，你回来吧

So, Rebecca, how did you become a personal trainer? 丽贝卡你是怎么成为私教的?

I came to Los Angeles to be an actress, and things didn't really work out. 为了成为演员我来到了洛杉矶但事情并不如愿

I'd say she's copying you again, but... 我想说她又在抄袭你，但是

...I'm getting tired of sitting in the hall. 我不想出去坐走廊了

I'd love a personal trainer. 我也想要个私教

I haven't seen my abs since they opened a Shake Shack on my drive home. 自打我回家路上开了家奶昔店就再也见不到我的腹肌了

I could give you some free sessions. 我可以教你一些免费课程

Oh, is that offer for everybody? Nice try. 每个人都有份吗？想得美

I'm not going. 我才不去

Where's your bathroom? 厕所在哪边

Mm, just down there. 就在那儿

She's so perfect, sometimes I think she isn't real. 她太完美了，有时，我都觉得她不是真的

And then she goes to the bathroom, and I know she is. 然后她去厕所了，我才确定她是真实的

Aw, that's so weird. 噢，真是奇葩

I'm sorry, Bert,but aren't you worried she's only with you for your money? 抱歉，伯特你不怕她是因为钱和你在一起吗

She better be. On our first date,I bought her an 80inch flatscreen. 最好是这样，初次约会时，我给她买了80英寸的平板电视

Your first date? 第一次约会吗?

Did you even measure her walls? 你都不量一下她们家的墙?

You know, on our first date,Leonard used a coupon to buy me a pretzel. 我们第一次约会时莱纳德就只用打折券，给我买了个椒盐卷饼

And we lived happily ever after.The end. 从此我们幸福地生活在一起。剧，终

Well, guess I'm ready to go. 我想我该走了

Have a great first day back. 返工首日顺利

You have everything she needs for day care? 托儿所的东西都准备好了吗

Yep, all in the bag. Good. 对，都在包里。好的

Okay, sweetie,  Mommy's gonna go to work now, so you have fun today. 好了宝贝，妈咪去上班了，你今天好好玩

I told her if day care is anything like prison,find the biggest baby and knock him out. 我告诉她，如果托儿所上演监狱风云就把宝宝头目找出来干掉

Bye, cutie. I'm gonna miss you. 再见，小可爱。我会想你的

I'm gonna be waiting right here tonight when you get home. 我今晚会一直在这儿等你回家

Stop, you're gonna make me cry. 别说了，你会弄哭我的

Great, now everybody's crying. 很好，现在大家都哭了

At least Halley's not.That's good. 至少哈雷没哭。真棒

She's not gonna see us all day, and she doesn't even care! 她一整天都见不到我们，但她根本不在乎

Who's ready to laugh? Okay. So... 准备好捧腹大笑了吗?来了

Feynman, Einstein and Schrodinger walk into a bar. 费曼，爱因斯坦，薛定谔，三人走进一家酒吧

Feynman says, "It appears we're inside a joke." 费曼说我们似乎在一个笑话里，自传"别闹了，费曼先生"

Einstein replies,"But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously." 爱因斯坦回答道，只是对看见我们进入酒吧的人来说是如此

To which Schrodinger says,"If someone's looking in the window, I'm leaving." 薛定谔对爱因斯坦说如果有人从窗户看，我就开溜，薛定谔的猫

That's actually funny. 这个还挺好笑的诶

You should send that to Jimmy Fallon. Hey. 你该发给吉米?法伦脱口秀主持人。嘿

Oh, hello. Join us. Hey. Yeah. 嗨，一起吧

Hey, sorry if last night was awkward. 抱歉，昨晚很尴尬

Actually, it got me thinking that I shouldn't flaunt my money to find love. 其实，我思考后觉得不该砸靠钱求爱

I might break up with Rebecca. 我也许会和丽贝卡分手

Wow, that's a big step. 哇，这决定可不轻松

I think it shows a lot of character. 不是谁都会这样想的

I'm gonna hold out and see if I can find a hot young blonde who likes me for me. 我想坚持看能否找到真心喜欢我的金发尤物

That's a good one. 很棒的笑话

Okay, now, Leonard, you tell a joke. 好的，莱纳德该你讲了

How's she doing? 她还好吗

She's great. Look.I see a wall...floor...some Asian baby... 非常好，看。我看到了墙地板一些亚洲宝宝

There she is.See? Nothing to worry about. Thank you. 她在那儿。看见没，没什么好担心的。谢谢你

Okay, I'm gonna try and get some work done. 好的，我要继续工作了

Yeah, me, too. Love you. 好的，我也是，爱你

Love you, too. Bye. 我也爱你，拜

How is she? What are you doing here? 她还好吗？你来干吗

Can't a guy hang out at a college he doesn't go to and stare at a baby that isn't his? 难道我就不能来别人的大学闲逛看望别人家的宝宝吗?

I get it.  I haven't even made it to my office yet. 我懂你。我也一直还没去办公室

Is it weird if we just stand here and watch her all day? 如果我们整天站在这看她，是不是很诡异?

Probably.We should go. Yeah. 是有点。我们该走了。对

Or we could take her to the aquarium. 或许我们可以带她去水族馆

I'll get her, you grab her bag. 我去抱她，你拿着包

Hang on, Halley, we're busting you out of there! 坚持住，哈雷我们这就救你出来!

What are you looking at? 你看啥呢?

Comments from our Behind the Flags retrospective. 旗帜的背后，特别回顾篇的评论

Get this, people are calling it "the longest one yet" 瞧，有人评论"最最漫长的一集

Hello? Anybody home? Is that Bert? It's Bert. 哈喽，有人在家么? 是伯特么?我名字读作伯特

I think it's Bert. 我猜就是Bert

Hey, what's up? 你好啊，怎么啦?

I broke up with Rebecca.Oh. Oh. 我和丽贝卡分手了。噢，噢

You know, good for you. 其实挺好的

No, I miss her. 才不，我想她

I don't know why I listened to you. 真不知道咋就听了你的话

He's not wrong. 他说的没错

It was your crackpot idea that he deserves love. 都怪你给他错觉能遇到真爱

You know, you need to start raising your hand before you speak. 你下次说话前必须先举手

Yes, starting now. 现在举已经晚了

Bert, you're a good guy; you deserve a woman who's interested in more than just your money. 伯特你是个好人，会有一个不只是喜欢钱的女人爱你

She was also interested in walking around my house in her underwear. 她以前还喜欢穿着内衣在我家附近溜达

Now the only one doing that is me. 现在只剩我自己那样溜达了

If you're that upset, go get her back.I tried. 你要是这么难过，就追她回来呀。我试过了

She's not answering my calls. 她不接我电话

Which really hurts because I bought her that phone. 这太伤人了，尤其是手机还是我送她的

I made a huge mistake. 我真是犯了大错

No, you didn't. 不，你没错

Okay? Look, Bert, when I had money, 听好，伯特我有钱的时候

I dated lots of girls who weren't right for me. 曾和许多不适合我的妹子约会

And then I gave up my money, 然后我放弃了金钱

and now I'm alone and living with my friends, 结果我孤身寡人还寄人篱下

and somebody else should probably talk now. 太惨了说不下去了

Look, sweetie,relationships aren't about money, okay? 听着，亲爱的感情和金钱无关，懂么?

It's about respect and having things in common and...Yes, Sheldon? 关键是互相尊重，有共同点还有...说吧，谢尔顿

You and Leonard don't have anything in common. 你和莱纳德毫无共同点

Maybe you should break up. 你俩是不是该分手了

You called on him. 你自己让他发言的

Guess who's home from day care? It's Halley. 瞧瞧谁从日托回来啦? 咱家哈雷

Unless somebody else put an on the bottom of their kid's foot. "X"除非有人也在自家宝宝脚板上画了个叉叉标记

You realize they called when you took her. 你们带走她的时候，日托那就打电话给我了

Guess who's home from the aquarium? 瞧瞧是谁从水族馆回来啦?

Sorry again for barging in. 再次抱歉我不请自来

You don't have to go. You're welcome to hang with us. 你不用急着走，呆在这大家一块玩嘛

Actually, our friendship group is at capacity. 才怪，我们朋友圈满了

But if anybody drops out, you're at the top of the list. 不过要是有人退出，你是头号备胎

Unless it's Raj,in which case, we'll probably get a person of color. 除非杰拉想加入那样我们就得先考虑有色人种

You guys are nice, but I'm just gonna buy Rebecca a Jet Ski and see if that gets her back. 你们人真好，但我还是打算买辆摩托艇给丽贝卡看看能不能让她回心转意

I feel bad for Bert. 我真替伯特难过

So he's using his money to attract a mate. 他不过是用钱吸引异性罢了

Is that any different than me using my intelligence to attract Amy? 这和我用智商吸引艾米莱纳德用死皮赖脸，

Or Leonard using his power of groveling to get Penny?It's totally different. 追佩妮又有啥区别?压根儿就不一样

Bert's money might run out,but I can beg until the end of time. 伯特的钱总会用完的但我的死皮赖脸永无尽头

All that and he's shorter than me. 除此之外他还比我矮

Sheldon, what did Amy have that attracted you? 谢尔顿艾米有什么吸引你的地方呢?

Oh, so many things. 噢，多得很呢

Her mind, her kindness,and especially her body.Really? 她的才智，善良尤其是她的身体。真的啊?

Relax. We're the same blood type. 蛋定，我俩血型一样

He knew he could harvest an organ. 他能找我捐器官给他罢了

She does look happy. 她看起挺开心的

See? This is the right thing for her. 看到没，这才是她该呆的地方

Let's all just go to work.Anytime. 我们都去上班吧。我准备好走了

Let me just say goodbye. 让我先道个别

Halley. Look at Mommy. 哈利看看妈咪

Over here, honey. 在这边，宝贝

Say goodbye to Mommy! 快跟你亲娘说拜拜!

Look at me! 看着我!

Look at your mother! 看看你亲妈!

All right, we can go. Hello. 好了，咱们走吧。大家好

I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 我是谢尔顿?库珀博士

And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. 我是艾米?法勒?福勒博士

Based on the glowing reception of our recent Behind the Flags retrospective, 由于上期节目旗帜的背后，特别回顾篇反响火爆

we thought you might like to see how it all came together. 我们觉得大家可能想知道，上期节目背后的故事

So welcome to tonight's episode... 所以欢迎收看今晚的

Fun with Flags:Behind the Behind the Flags: 旗乐融融旗帜背后的背后

A Retrospective Retrospective. 特别回顾篇的特别回顾篇

Ooh, we already have our first call. 噢，已经有观众打进来了

Oh.Hello, you're on Fun with Flags. 你好，这里是旗乐融融

The Jet Ski worked. I got her back. 摩托艇奏效了，我把她追回来了