Guess it came home after a tough day, 辛苦的一天后回到家

lit up a cigarette and then it burned itself. 点了支烟  烧到了它自己

Is that what happened? Because that makes no sense. 是这样吗  可真是荒谬

If whoever is responsible doesn't come forward, 真正的烟民如果不站出来

your father and I are just gonna have to punish all three of you. 我们会将你们三个统统作为惩罚对象

What? 什么

That's not fair! - I can forgive the smoking, 这不公平  -我能原谅你们抽烟

but I can't forgive the lie. - No. 但是不能原谅撒谎  -不对

Or the smoking. 抽烟也不能原谅

No one wants to confess, huh? No? 没人主动承认  真没有吗

That's fine, 'cause you know what happens next? 没关系  知道接下来会怎样吗

We cancel Christmas! 我们取消圣诞节

That's not fair. 这不公平

Okay, Dad, sure. 好吧  老爸

Phil has a habit of making big pronouncements to the kids. 菲尔喜欢在孩子面前夸海口

One time I told Luke... 有一次我告诉卢克

that if he didn't put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher, 如果他不把他的脏碗放进洗碗机  

we would put them in his bed. 我们就把脏碗放他床上

Phil's problem is follow-through. 菲尔的问题就是  坚持到底

We had no more dishes, 然后我们就没有碟子了

so we were eating cereal out of the goldfish bowl. 所以最后只能用金鱼缸吃麦片

Okay. Guess where I'm headed? 好吧  猜猜我现在要去干什么

To take down the tree. That's right. 把圣诞树砍了  就是这样

Come on, guys. This is your last chance. 快坦白吧  这是你们最后的机会了

Whoever did this, just take responsibility. 不管是谁做的  要勇于承担责任

Don't put the rest of us through this. Luke? No? 不要连累其他人  卢克  不是吗