Your mother-in-law just had to have the dog. 你婆婆非要养这只狗

Turns out she's allergic. 结果发现原来她对狗过敏

And the pet store didn't have a grace period 宠物店就没个宽限期

or a return policy or anything? 或者包退换之类的吗

I got him from the pound. 它是从宠物收留所领回来的

Was there a twister in Kansas? 堪萨斯州刮龙卷风了吧

'Cause there's a house in my driveway. 不然怎么把房子刮到我家车道上了

Welcome home, Mr. Dunphy. 欢迎回家  邓菲先生

Uh, always a pleasure, Mr. Dunphy. 很高兴见到你  邓菲先生

Indeed it is, Mr. Dunphy. Place it there. 我也是  邓菲先生  请把它放在那里

- Oh, I shall. I shall. - I miss this. Get in here. -好的好的  -真怀念啊  来抱一个

My dad is awesome. 我爸超级棒

He's awesome. He's always up. He's always happy. 他特别好  永远积极向上  笑口常开

I mean, he and I are best buds. 他跟我是好哥们

We're like two peas in a pod. 我们就像一个模子刻出来的

Or Siamese twins. Or a snake with two heads. 或者是连体双胞胎  或者双头蛇

- They've actually been all those things for Halloween. - Yeah. -他们在万圣节扮过以上所有角色  -没错

Oy. This must be Scout, huh? 哎哟  这一定是斯科特吧

I should warn you. He sheds. 我得警告你  他会脱毛  

I made the mistake of letting him sleep with me on the road. 我一路上让他上床和我一起睡

Now my sheets look like two bigfoots did it. 我那床单就跟被俩野人滚过一样

Pardon the language. 原谅我的粗俗用语

- How's Mom? - Speaking of big feet, eh? -我妈好吗  -说到那个"大脚野人"

She's on a cruise with her girlfriends, 她和她的闺蜜们乘游轮旅游去了

some of which are not totally unattractive. 大多都是恐龙  也有几个尚有几分姿色