Hello? 喂

There is a pigeon in our house. 家里进来一只鸽子

What do I do? What do I do? 怎么办  怎么办

Who is this? 你谁呢

- Never funny. Not funny now. - Calm down. -不搞笑  一点都不搞笑  -冷静

You know I grew up around many animals. 我从小就是在动物的陪伴下长大的

One time, a rooster attacked me, 有一次一只公鸡袭击我

and my mom wrung its neck, and we had it for dinner. 我妈把它脖子拧了  然后晚上就吃鸡

Great time for an anecdote. Help me. 你真会挑时间讲故事  速回来救我

It's more afraid of you than you are of it. 其实它更怕你

Pigeons aren't scared of anything. 鸽子什么都不怕

They stand on electrical wires. 电线他们都敢站

You're gonna be fine, Mitchell. Just as long as you don't- 你会没事的  米奇尔  只要你不

You know what, they're starting. 那个  他们要开始了

I gotta go. Okay, bye. 我得挂了  拜拜

As long as I don't what? Cam? 只要我不怎么  小卡

As long as I don't- Oh, God! 只要我不怎么  我的个娘亲

Cool. The kiss cam. 酷  接吻镜头来了

Wouldn't it be embarrassing if the camera 如果镜头圈到了我们

- was on us and then the crowd started- - We're related. -会不会很尴尬  -我们是亲戚

Not by blood. 但没有血缘关系

Touch me and there will be blood. 你敢碰我  就让你"血溅当场"

- Not us. - What's wrong with you? -我们不行  -你怎么了

It's the kiss cam. 是接吻镜头  

When it lands on you, you're supposed to kiss. 要是圈到我们  我们就得接吻

This is my wife's dad's second wife. 她是我岳父的二婚妻子

So legally okay, but still weird. 法律上没问题  但是很怪异