Oh, um, yeah, they called to say they wanted to reschedule our home visit. 对了，他们打电话来说家访时间有变。

When? Why didn't you tell me? Th-this is kind of important. 什么时候？你怎么没告诉我？这么重要的事。

Well, when does it say? 上面写的是什么时候？

Uh, well, who knows? It disappears into Jennifer Aniston's hair. You gotta get a better system. 谁知道？到詹妮弗·安妮斯顿头发那儿就看不清了。你以后要换个方法记事。

There is nothing wrong with my system. Ask me anything about any upcoming event. I can tell you when and where it is. 我记事的方法好得很。随便问我什么日程安排。我马上能告诉你时间地点。

When is the adoption agency visit? 收养机构家访是什么时间？

Okay. Is that a "5" or a curl? Oh, I hope Jen's finally found love. 好的，这是个"5"还是一撮卷发？我希望詹妮弗最后能找到真爱。

What happened here? 这儿发生什么了？

Well, Lily and I woke up in a French mood, so we decided to whip up some crepes. 一大早起床时。莉莉和我心系法式风情。所以我们决定自制些法国薄饼。

When are you gonna be in the mood to wipe up some crepes? 你什么时候才有心情打扫这些薄饼呢？

Oh, I know, it's a little messy, but...you know what? I'm gonna clean it up. - Okay. 我知道这里有点乱，但是，我会打扫干净的。-好的。

I'll clean it up. - Will you? 我会打扫的。-你会吗？

Just say what's on your mind. - You never clean up. 心里有话不妨直说。-你不会打扫的。

Save the gasp. Cam, whenever you get creative in the kitchen, I'm the one who ends up cleaning it up, okay? 气结也没用。小卡，每次你在厨房研究新菜式，总是我来收拾残局，好吗？

The homemade pizza, fondue, molecular gastronomy. I'm still cleaning shrimp foam out of the curtains. 自制披萨，芝士火锅，分子烹饪，诸如此类。到现在窗帘上的虾沫尚未清理干净。

Okay, you know, Mitchell? Just go to work, okay? 行了，米奇尔，你放心去上班吧。

I'm gonna take Lily to school, and then when I get home, I'm gonna scrub this place like a crime scene, which it is, because you've murdered joy. 我来送莉莉上学，等我回家的时候，我就清理"饭醉现场"，不留蛛丝马迹，也的确是犯罪现场，因为你扼杀了我的乐趣。

Hey, buddy. What's up? -Hey, dad. Think fast. 伙计，干吗呢？-老爸。接招。

Oh, my god! -Oh, my god! -Oh, my god! If we had that on tape, it'd be the greatest youtube video ever! 我的天啊！-好神奇！-太神奇了！如果我们把这个录下来了，它肯定会是Youtube史上最佳视频！

We'd get, like, a million hits. This is our double rainbow! （惊现双彩虹：Youtube超人气视频）会有一百万点击率，直逼《惊现双彩虹》！

We need to do it again. 我们得再来一遍。

Oh, I would, buddy, but, uh, your mom's all over me to change a bunch of lightbulbs. 我也想，伙计，但是你妈妈有好多灯泡要我换呢。

How many moms does it take to screw on a lightbulb? -I don't know. 拧一个灯泡需要几个妈妈？-不知道。

None, 'cause they get you to do it, sucker. 一个都不用，因为她会指使你去干，废柴。

I laughed, but...It hurt a little. 我强颜欢笑。但是内心在滴血。