Well, that's the goal, anyway. 反正我的目标也是这个。

Okay, papi, whatever you decide. 宝贝，你开心就好。

Don't let him leave this room! 不要让他离开这个房间！

Maybe you should teach him how to hit. 也许该由你来教他。

Oh, my God. Check it out. 天呐，看这个。

Rose got your breakup text and wrote back. 罗思收到了你的分手短信，给了回复。

She mad. 她发火了。

What? Give me that. 怎么发火了，把手机给我。

Thanks for the dumbest breakup text ever. 谢谢你发来史上最蠢的分手短信。

Don't call a girl awesome, then break up with her. 不要夸一个女孩很棒，然后跟她分手。

If I'm so great, why'd you dump me? 如果我那么好，你为什么还要甩了我？

Get over yourself, you insensitive troll? 你自娱自乐去吧，没有心的魔鬼？

What is her problem? She can't talk to you like that. 她是什么毛病，怎么能这样跟你说话。

She's not. She's talking to you. 不，她是在跟你们说话。

I can't believe I ever liked this girl. 真不敢相信我原来还挺喜欢她。

Our text was compassionate and respectful. 我们的短信深情又礼貌。

There was nothing dumb about it. 哪里蠢了。

A million percent. 百分之一百万。

What are you doing? 你在干什么？

This crazy bitch just messed with the wrong crazy bitch. 那个贱人惹到我这个贱人真是失误。

This is unreal. 这不是真的。

We always knew Sal was unstable, but how could she do this? 我们都知道萨尔有点疯疯癫癫，但她怎么能做这种事？

We don't know that she's done anything. 我们还不知道她做了什么。

Okay, let's just suppose for a second that she's on a plane to Cabo. 假设她现在坐在一架去往卡波的飞机上。

What then? 然后呢？

Maybe this is part of a bigger plan. 也许这一切是命中注定。

You know, maybe the reason we didn't adopt another baby after Lily was because god wanted us available for Sammy. 也许在莉莉之后，我们没有领养别的孩子是因为上帝想让我们收养萨米。

Who is this god that denies us a baby, then gets a party girl pregnant, only to have her desert the baby so that we can finally get one? 这个上帝不让我们领养孩子，却让一个狂野女怀了孕，最后抛弃自己的孩子，所以我们能收养他？

The same god that impregnated a virgin, sent Moses down the river in a basket, and commanded Abraham to stab his own son. 就是这个上帝，让处女怀孕，让摩西在篮子里顺河漂下，让亚伯拉罕杀死自己的儿子。

God only does weird baby stuff. 上帝总是对小孩不太好。

Okay, yes, I'll admit, there is part of me that would love to keep this little guy and raise him the way Sal was pretending to. 好吧，我承认其实我也想留下这个小家伙，用萨尔装出来的那种好把他养育成人。