Oh, my god, she's gonna be Haley Bailey. 老天啊，她以后要叫海莉·贝利了。

Wait. I just thought of something. - What? 等等，我想到一件事。-什么事？

I'm going to be the first woman in my family not to get pregnant and drop out of college. 我成了家里第一个没怀孕，也没从大学退学的女人。

Ooh, maybe that should be my essay. 也许我论文该写这个。

I graduated from college. 老娘大学毕业了啊。

Yeah, and haley got kicked out of college before she got pregnant. 没错，而且海莉退学时还没怀孕呢。

Okay, hang on, honey. I am sending you a picture. 等一下，亲爱的，我给你发张图片。

Do you think that this arsonist looks like Andy with a beard? 你觉得这个纵火犯像留胡子的安迪吗？

No. He's not an arsonist. 不，他不是纵火犯。

Gloria hired him to take care of her baby. 歌洛莉亚请他照顾孩子呢。

Gloria. Right, of course. 对了，问问歌洛莉亚。

You know how protective she is. 你知道她保护欲有多强。

I'm sure she had him thoroughly vetted. 她肯定仔细查过他的底细。

Hola! 你好！

Gloria, where did you find Andy? 歌洛莉亚，你在哪找到的安迪？

At the park, chasing some children. 公园里，当时他在追小孩。

Oh, my god. - I'm gonna call him again. 天呐。-我再给他打电话。

Hey, mom, check it out. 老妈快看。

God, Luke, what have you done? ! 天呐，卢克你做了什么？

I know. What does he have to rebel against? 就是，他有什么必要叛逆？

Haley pregnant and me in a Mohawk -- 海莉怀孕，我留着莫霍克发型...

This year's christmas card is gonna rule. 今年圣诞节贺卡的全家福我们无敌啦。

What's going on? Did you find her? 进展如何，你找到她了吗？

No, dad, no, I haven't found her. And you know what? 没，爸，我没找到她，你知道吗？

This is all your fault because you two introduced this horny stranger into our lives. 这都是你的错，因为你们俩把这个饥渴的陌生人带进了我们的生活。

Let me get this straight. 让我搞搞清楚。

You're mad because your daughter got knocked up and ran off with some goofy guy to get married behind your back. 你生气是因为你女儿怀孕，和一个猥琐男私奔，然后背着你结婚。

I can't even imagine what that must feel like. 我都想象不到那是种什么感觉。

Really? Now? 真的，你现在要演这出？

I can't think of a better time. 没有比现在更好的时机了。

Jay, stop kicking her while she's down, pointing out her mistakes at the same time the whole universe is telling her that she's a terrible mother! 杰，不要落进下石了，也不要点破她众人皆知的错误，她不就是个糟糕的母亲嘛！

Oh, my god, okay, can't do this. Got to go. Bye. 天呐，听不下去了，我挂了，拜拜。