What do you think of the picture on my new Costco card? 你觉得我的新好市多卡上的照片怎么样？

Wow, you've never put your actual face that close to mine. 你从没把脸靠得离我这么近过。

Jay thinks that -- 杰觉得...

Let him answer. 让他说。

Okay, you look good. 看着不错。

This looks nothing like me! 跟我一点也不像！

Maybe 'cause you're not yelling in it. 可能是因为照片里你没在大吼。

I look at this, and I'm like, "What the hell? Where's the sparkle? Where's the guy that scored the winning touchdown and was carried off by his team?" 我看到这个，心里想的是，"什么鬼？火花都去哪了？那个触底得分，被队友高高抬起的家伙哪里去了？”

This guy looks like he was carried off by the current. 这家伙像是被海浪拍死在沙滩上的。

I have half a mind to cut this up and never go back there. 我有点想把这卡剪掉，再也不去那里了。

Maybe you can use one of the scissors from the eight-pack that we bought. 你可以用我们买的八联包剪刀的其中一把来剪。

Hey, Jay, you feeling it? You ready to knock down some pins? 杰，有感觉了吗？准备好把球瓶都扳倒了吗？

Oh, great. Gray and wrinkled, like my tired puss. 太好了。又灰又皱，跟我的老脸一样。

It's my league finals, and Jay agreed to fill in for our star bowler, Maurice, who's recovering from a groin pull. 今晚是我的联赛决赛，杰同意来替补我们的明星保龄球手莫里斯，他腹股沟拉伤还没好。

An actual groin pull, not the party on fire island. 是真的腹股沟拉伤，不是什么火烧岛上的派对。

I don't know, Cameron. I'm -- I'm really not feeling it tonight. 不知道，卡梅隆。我今晚真的没什么手感。

Well, you better start feeling it soon. 那你最好现在就开始有感觉。

We need to win so I can stick it to that smug Martin Sherman. 我们必须要赢，好气气那个自以为是的马丁·谢尔曼。

Who's Martin Sherman? 马丁·谢尔曼是谁？

Only my archrival. 我的死对头而已。

I thought your rival was that blond Christmas caroler. 我以为你的死对头是那个唱圣诞颂歌的金发男。

No, it's the Spanish teacher at his school. 不是，是他们学校的西语老师。

Well, C-Cam has lots of rivals, especially if you count that bag boy. 小卡有很多死对头，特别是如果算上那个扛包小伙的话。

I told you -- never say his name. 我跟你说过，别提他的名字。

I didn't say his name. I don't even know his name. 我没提他的名字，我都不知道他叫什么。

It's Todd. Always putting my canned goods on top of my produce. 他叫陶德。老是把我的罐装食物放在蔬果上面。

I'd like to squash his squash. 真想把他的南瓜压扁。

Okay, let's go. Hopefully, we won't be out too late tonight. 好了，走吧。顺利的话，我们今晚不会很晚回来。

We will! 我们会的！

Oh, yeah, right. $10 says you guys will be home in bed before we are. 对了。赌10块钱，你们会比我们先躺床上。

No, no, no, no, no. 不不不。

You two will be sleeping, and Gloria and Haley and I will still be dancing. 到时候你俩会睡觉，歌洛莉亚，海莉和我会在跳舞。

This one? Joe tucks her in. 这只吗？一般都是乔帮她掖被子。

How would you know? 你怎么会知道？

You go to bed right after you get mad at the news. 让你生气的新闻联播一结束你就上床睡觉了。

Yeah, it's you two that are keeping us down, but not tonight. Tonight, we are going out big. 对，你俩总是害我们玩得不够嗨，但今晚不会了。今晚我们要出去好好耍一耍。

Oh, yeah! 没错！

Yes, you're very hip. That's the theme song to "The Antiques Roadshow." 对，你很时髦。那是《古董巡展电视秀》的主题曲。

He's right. That's embarrassing. 他说得对。好丢脸。