Once in my career, I felt that a senior woman treated me poorly. 在我的职业生涯中，我曾感到一位女性高管对我的态度不太好，

She would complain about me and my team behind my back but would not discuss any concerns she had with me, even when I asked directly. 她会在我背后抱怨我和我的团队，即使我当面问她，她也不会和我讨论她所关心的任何问题。

When I first met her, I had high hopes that she would be an ally. 当我第一次遇到她时，我很希望她会是我的盟友，

When she turned out to be not just unhelpful but actually spiteful, I was not just disappointed; I felt betrayed. 结果她非但没有帮助我，还总有种敌意。对此，我不只是失望，还有种被背叛的感觉。

Sharon Meers explained to me that this feeling of betrayal was predictable. 莎伦·密尔兹告诉我，这种被背叛的感觉其实是可以预料的。

Both men and women do, in fact, demand more time and warmth from women in the workplace. 不管是男性还是女性，他们在职场上都希望从女性那里得到更多的时间和善意。

We expect greater niceness from women and can become angry when they don't conform to that expectation. 我们都期望同性能对自己更好，如果她们没有达到这种期望，我们就会生气。

"I think that's a big part of the protest about executive women being 'mean' to other women," “人们反对女性执行官，很大程度上是认为她们对其他女性很刻薄。”

Sharon told me. "I think it's about a double standard we have when we look at female versus male superiors." 莎伦告诉我，“我认为，我们对女性高管和男性高管采用的是双重标准。”

I now recognize that had this senior woman been a man and acted the same way, I still would have been frustrated, but I wouldn't have taken it so personally. 现在我确定，如果这位高管是位男性，即便我还是会因为他的行为而气恼，但不会觉得他是针对我个人。

It's time to drop the double standard. Gender should neither magnify nor excuse rude and dismissive treatment. 我们应该抛弃这种双重标准了，性别不应变成将粗鲁、轻视这类态度放大化或合理化的借口。

We should expect professional behavior, and even kindness, from everyone. 我们都应该期待每一个人都拥有更友善、更专业的言行举止。

Any coalition of support must also include men, many of whom care about gender inequality as much as women do. 不管什么样的盟友，都应该接纳男性成员，因为有很多男性和女性一样关心性别不平等的问题。