男人为什么爱撒谎？（在线收听）

My husband does not lie to me. Most men lie, but my husband doesn't lie.

Of course, everybody lies.

Robi Ludwing is a psychotherapist. Steve Santagati is with Men's Journal. Good morning to both of you.

Good morning.

Ok, let's start this off. Everybody lies, (that's true)men, men and women.(Actually...) Is there any proof that women lie less than men?

No, I haven't seen it; in fact, women and lie, probably, women and men probably lie at the same amount. But women and men lie about different things. So when women lie, it's usually more complimentary or altruistic, the white lies, they are kind of nice to make you feel better (you're lovely to make this way according to the studies. That's right.

Women are only giving white lies according to the website when you did at home?

Wow. Santagati is often winning.

No, it's just...

And men, I have got it already, I'm not even winning myself. And men lie about self-aggrandizing themselves.

So,in any event, she's outrageous here.

What will men ( do) to take care of ourselves?

We, so lying started as a servile technique and it went a little crazy, men, a lot of time, will lie because when we tell women the truth, they go nuts.

So it's that Jack Nickelson(a famous actor)--you can't handle the truth.(Well, they can handle it...)

They do avoid it, but it's not only the women. Men lie to other men. They lie about sex, they lie about how much they made, they lie to make themselves feel better. Lying is a(This, all right.) way to increase one's self-esteem.

She is making a scene a lot worse than what we really are. We lie because men, our whole thing, is to be powerful. And we don't wanna seem vulnerable; and we don't wanna seem weak. So if we lie a little, you know.

And also.....

Was it, was it, when it comes to the man and woman thing,(Yeah.) is it because men don't like confrontation, we can't say we tell this, this, this white lie, for example, did this jeans make me look fat?

Right, exactly. (Never tells truth.)And that's a great, and that's a great point. Sometimes lies are not deliberate, they are spontaneous. So a man feels like he's being put on the spot in the moment and he comes up with something that won't hurt another person's feeling. So it's not all ill-intended.

Not rightly so, you showed it as there is a time, there is a time to lie, and there is a time to tell the truth.

When is it the time to lie, Steve?

When, when the truth, when the truth is either going to be unproductive, ur,destructive or just doesn't really matter for the situation whatever it might be the time.

And there are different kinds of lies I mean.....

I am gonna say is it ok, are there times when it's ok to lie because look, I've got kids and I tell them it's not ok to lie, (Right. Right.) but where we do and say two different things.

Right, you know, white lies you don't wanna get yourself in trouble. Obviously, you don't want hurting another person's feeling. But if folk, if you are chronically lying about very important things, then it interferes with having trust in a relationship. And without trust you can't have a good relationship. It interferes with the foundation.

But now I see you talk about, when you are seeing a woman(Right.) that you really like and you start off telling the truth.

That's right.

Something happenes.

When you start telling the truth, and all of a sudden, the way we should response to. It's so dramatic and it adds so much aggravation of the relationship. She started building a liar. Women can build liars by the way when they react. Let's say for example I tell you the truth and you don't like the truth.

Right,Like in the green room.

Think. Like in the green room.

Think, breathe and talk to me like an adult and I will tell you the truth every single time. But If I see that you are acting crazy, I wanna be like en, en,a lie is easier.

I actually, I am in agreement with Steve. You know, if you urh,pretend a little bit(all right, I am not a liar ). ...I might be lying. But If you basically can handle,and let a person know listen, I am open to hearing what you have to say. Then you are more likely hear the truth from somebody who isn't inclined to be honest that our people, no matter how you react or what you do,'(they are gonna lie to you) they just, they just want to lie because they can't deal with reality.

And I think the big thing is to tell the truth when it's really important, and you'll know that there is a guy cause you feel really noxious right before you can tell the truth.(God) And you know what, and just going to women,

Tell me you want to date him now? Yeah. No, no, no.

Women are stronger than we give them credit for a lot of time. They don't always react to the truth in such a crazy way.

So start off honest.(start off honest) but it doesn't work, then lie.(then lie)

Ok. There you go.no, We are just kidding. We're Kidding. We have to always be honest.

That's right.

That's always.

And I am, I am honest when I have to tell you we've got to go.

Ok.

That's right, Al.

Thank you.

And by the way, it's nice to see you all guys and thanks a lot.