西部落：如何圆孩子一个明星梦（在线收听）

Marlene Wallach is president of Wihelmina Kids and Teens' modeling agency and Judith Sills is a psychologist. And good morning to both of you, thanks for coming on.

Good morning.

Let me start with you, Marlene, about the notion that a 2 or 3 year-old doesn't simply say I wanna be an actor or I wanna be a model. Mom and dad made that call. How do you know if, if your kid is right for acting?

Well, I think that you start off with the giving of being cute and adorable. That has to be there.

Yeah, but we all think our kids are cute and adorable, (Right) so that's easy.

Next we have to do... we have to really consider the temperament. Is it someone you've been telling your little one not to go with strangers since the very beginning? Now you are telling them to go with strangers. When you pick up a little baby, will a stranger make them cry? Will they leave their mothers' side? The temperament will tell if it's even in the cards to try.

And you'll know, you'll know that right off the bat. (Right) Now what about, the, what kind of a childhood does a child actor or model have? Is there anything close to what we've considered normal?

Well, I think the, the key is the, the parent. And it's the parent's responsibility to keep balance in their life. You saw them in naps , you saw them playing with the hula hoop, being in their piano lessons and doing all the kid things. It's really critical to do that.

All right. Now let's, let's turn, if we can, to Judith and talk about the temperament of the child, then the temperament of the parent. You say, for a parent, you need to know your role. And what is that role?

Your role is protection. A lovely person like this, her role is to rent your child's talent to make money, that's her purpose. Your role as a parent is to protect your child. So if you get very invested and your child getting the part, even if you are investing the money for college, you are out of your role. Your purpose is "Is this fun for my kid?", "Is my kid's life even?", "Does my kid have friends?", "Is there something solid so when rejection comes up to flailing?"

Well, let me ask you, is there a conflict, I will ask you both, is there a conflict sometimes between the reality of this child still has to go to schools, still has to get good marks in math and English, but there is also the pressure from your end that, yeah, but this kid is hot, and we need him on the scent.

Well, we find that the kids that are hot are typically the honored students. It, it seems to go hand in hand that kids that miss the most school are typically the best students who want some work.

See, here is, here is the conflict. I'm a parent and I want my kid to be special, which is great. And I get invested in how special my kid is 'coz I drove for 3 hours to get the kid to the audition. The kid gets the part. I want my kid to sparkle. My kid's sparkling and he is a little tired. I'm, I'm in there saying "Sparkle a little bit longer! Work a little bit harder!" maybe that's not my role.

Well, Judith, both have mentioned the word rejection, how do you teach a small, I don't do well with therejection, I'm, I'm a grown-up. How do you teach a small kid that you're gonna go in this audition and maybe they are gonna say you know what, you are not cute enough, you are not tall enough, you are not whatever enough, sorry you don't get the job.

Well, actually rejection can be an opportunity, in any reason. First thing you say to a kid is: rejection, disappointment, failure, you know what, they're part of life, and you tell the kid a time you got rejected, a time you got a setback. No. 2, a parent has to not be emotionally invested in getting the job. A child would rather not disappoint a parent , it's more important to not disappoint a parent than to be sparkling them. So parent has to be able to move on. And they can't all do that, don't you find?

Good, Good discussion, well,

The, the little ones don't even know. They, they go to and go see, they get their picture taken, they think that's (right) the job, you know.

Right, but, but they will get older on the other deal. (Well, that's good, that's good) Judith Sills, Marlene Wallach, good conversation. Thanks so much for coming on and talking with us. It's good to see both of you