西部落：如果爱错了人该怎么办?（在线收听）

(Baby, you're lonely...)

I don't see how these clips have made the point, really, er, Cathryn Michon is a relationship expert for our sister Website iVillage.com. Cathryn, good morning. Good to have you here.

Good morning.

Again, I feel like I have to point out that I am the emissary er.. the good guys.

Yes, in the dictionary under good guys, (You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm aware, I'm not good.) you are a man, yes.

All right, so why is it that, that so many women are actually attracted to, to the bad guys, the bad boys out there?

Well, that's, that's a very good question, because the first kind of Mr. Wrong is Mr. Wrong for everyone. Alright, Er, he...

The blankety Mr. Wrong, (the blankety, Scot Peterson wrong, right, you know...) easily identifiable. It's got Peterson.Wrong. You are right.

Hey, that guy gets hundreds of love letters (Right) sent to him in prison, OK.

So what is that about?

That is about being addicted to thrills. You know. I mean, er, there are Websites on the Internet that will hook you up with a convicted prisoner, sort of like Match.com or something, you know.

But beyond this Scot Peterson, there is just, there is the idea about certain guys who you know are wrong for you,(Yes) it seem.....yeah, I want that guy.

Yeah, and I, and, and I'm sorry to say to the woman who's attracted to that guy you are Ms. Wrong. Ok?

Right. Maybe these are women who have a problem with commitment, you ever think about that?

That is right. So, they, so instead they go for a guy who's already committed. You know, I mean that's crazy.

All right. You could actually tell, I mean, how, how do women know these from the get-go. How can they, you know, going into any dating? Let's say... this is how I avoid Mr. Wrong altogether.

Yeah, well, the, the general kind of Mr. Wrong is,is really the second type, which is, you know, Mr. I-can-fix-him. (right) I can fix him. You can't fix him. OK, I mean if his mummy told him he was the most important person in the world you are not gonna talk him out of that .OK. One, one of the women on iVillage wrote in and said he picked me up for an 8 P.M. date at 1 A.M. (ha-ha.) That's wrong; you just have to follow your instincts. You know.....

All right, well, let's go to some of these. 'Cause you've actually broken the standard in pretty methodical way to help women go through it.(yeah)So, first, Mr. Wrong for everybody.

Mr.bad, bad wrong. You know it. Let it go. (Yeah,just clearly, clearly wrong.)

The next one I-can-fix-him, but this is interesting because this is kind of a challenge but it's also you know,coming into a preconceived idea what you actually want.

Yes, see, women will get this resume in their mind. They are like: I want a guy who is six-foot- tall and crazy about bowling. (Right) But the problem with that is then you end up missing the guy who is five-eleven and crazy about you. (Right, right.) So you can't... Mr. Right doesn't necessarily look like how you imagine him.

What about... What...you, the next one you talk about is the guy who comes on a little bit too strong.

Yes, (And what do you mean here?) and this one is very compelling. Mr. Comes on Strong. Because he never lasts long. You know... I mean he is the greatest boyfriend in the world to all of the 50 women that he dated this year. You know. I mean this is the guy who looks at women the way a cheetah looks at a herd of water buffalo. Do you know? It's just caught them from the herd and takes them one by one.

But is it also possible that he's coming on too strong that he, that he wants to commit more quickly than you do?

You know not my experience (not exactly example, you're talking about...) not exactly, I mean generally Mr. Comes on Strong is too good to be true. (It’s conquest, It's...) probably too good to be true.

All right, So you talk about learning, learning lessons from past mistakes, (yeah) and actually learning them what you should do. (That's right.) too many that we are not doing.

Right, because you're going to date Mr. Wrongs. It can not be avoided. So you gotta learn the right lesson, like if you date a chronic gambler who loves kittens, don't be all...I hate guys who love kittens. I mean that is not the lesson. You know get the right lesson, for now you're set.

OK, now we,we talk about the idea of not being flexible, not having especially that you're getting older

Yeah, yeah, (you don't wanna have the guy on paper that you want) you've got issues we've all come to our bars from the previous segments, so you know, give up the paper...

Right, right, well, I'm sorry,do you think I have issues?

No, not you. (I have issues.) No, no, everyone but you. No.

I don't have issues. No, you know what I mean, I mean personally, I mean everyone we've all got this. OK. I just thought I'm a little offensive this way. Also what you say, you say very lovable a little bit in terms of what you're looking for. Cause you might be surprised.

Yeah, here is the thing. If you wanna find Mr. Right, you've gotta look in the right place like bars for example are great places to meet alcoholics. (Right). Right? So if you're meeting guy who over drinks. So Mr. Wrong gets a straight. You know, if you,if you want a church going-guy. Here is the tip, go to a church. (Right)You know, if you want a hunky firefighter, follow the smoke. (You are right.) Where there's smoke, there's firefighter.

All right, well, actually is so our sister website, we talk about iVillage.com has a quiz that you can take to see if you are dating Mr. Wrong .Ah, which I think is very funny, including...(very simple)If you plan a birthday celebration for you that doesn't include you. Follow the Mr. Right

That's the tips.That is another red flag.

Alright, Cathryn Michon thanks so much, helpful advice. And if you wanna check more on dating Mr. Wrong, you can take an online quiz that we just talked about at iVillage.com