《绝望的主妇》精讲500（在线收听）

Jim did everything he could to get Susan Mayer to laugh. He tried racial humor.

Jim竭尽所能想博得佳人一笑。他尝试了种族笑话。

So guess what time Chinese people go to the dentist? Two thirty! Get it? Tooth hurty.

猜猜中国人什么时候看牙医？明白了么？tooth-hurty(牙疼)

Two thirty. Tooth-hurty. I love that.

哈哈哈，逗死了。

He tried to be engaging risqué.

他也试图有潇洒的来点黄笑话。

Rectum？Damn near killed him!

直肠？差点要了他的命啊。

Ah, you know what a rectum is, right?

你知道直肠是什么吧？

He even tried gentle teasing.

他甚至尝试了温情的调戏。

No, no, you see, by comparing you to a Nazi, I was making the point, you're so not a Nazi.

不不不，看，之所以把你跟纳粹比较。我是想说你一点不像纳粹。

And just when Jim thought the date couldn‘t get any worse.

就在Jim以为这次约会，糟糕透顶的时候。

Oh! Oww! Oh!

奥！喔！奥！

It did.

还真的糟糕到“顶”了。

Okay, Jim. I need you to look up and down. All right. So, how did this happen?

好了！Jim！现在往上看，往下。好了。这是怎么造成的？

It was an accident.

是个小事故。

Oh, oh, I don‘t know about that. In some cultures, head butting is a mating ritual.

哦，我不知道。在某些文化里，顶脑门儿可是婚配仪式呢！

Dr. McCreadie, can I talk to you about my head? Away from the draft.

McCready医生，我能跟你谈谈我的头么？咱们离仪器...远点儿。

Yeah. Call me Dr. Ron. Everyone does.

你可以叫我Ron医生。大家都这么叫。

Ah. Dr. Ron I need you to pretend there‘s something wrong with me and admit me for the night.

Ron医生我需要你假装我病情严重，让我留院观察。

I am sorry?

什么？

This is the worst date I have ever been on in my life.

这是我这辈子最糟的约会了。

That man is the most obnoxious, offensive, annoying human being,

我没见过这么可恶，爱侮辱人，又讨厌的人

and you are looking at me like I am crazy right now, but I will be if I spend one more second with him so you gotta help me!

你现在看着我好像我是个疯子，但我要是跟他再多呆一秒钟，我真会疯的。

You gotta do something. It‘s my mental health. My mental health. You took an oath.

你得帮帮我。帮我一把。这关乎我的心理健康。心理健康啊。你成为医生时可是发过誓的。

Could you let go of my lapel please?

你能别抓着我的领子么？

Sorry.

哦，对不起。

Um, listen, I am sorry your date's not going well, but I can‘t admit you, Susan.

听我说，我很抱歉你得约会不成功，但我帮不了你, Susan。

Right, right.

好吧。好吧。

Jim, let‘s, um, let's take a look at those reflexes.

Jim，咱们来察察你的反射神经。

I will tell ya. I got a joke for you, Doctor.

好的,我有个小笑话,医生。

What‘s the correct medical term for the circumcision of a rabbit? Hare Cut. I don‘t know. always...

给兔子行割礼的医学术语是什么？Hare Cut(兔割, 与理发同音)。哈哈我都...哈哈。

Jim, I am gonna need to keep you here for a while and run some tests.

Jim我的要求你留院观察，做些测试。

Really? I-

真的么？ 我...

Yeah, I am still worried about that bump.

嗯,我很担心你的头上的肿块。

Oh. Ow! That still...

还是有点儿...

Susan. You are good to go.

而..Susan。你可以走了。

And though it only lasted a moment, Jim caught the look passed between his date and his doctor.

虽然只是那么一瞬间，Jim还是捕捉到了他的约会对象和医生之间的...眼神交会。

Thank you so much, Dr. Ron.

太谢谢你了，Ron医生。

And he suddenly got the feeling the joke was on him.

他突然感觉到..他自己才是最可笑的笑话。