时差N小时 如何赢得朋友和影响力（在线收听）

YAEL:Good news, Don, I think I've finally mastered schmoozing with strangers.

雅艾尔:唐，告诉你个好消息,我想终于掌握了与陌生人闲谈的诀窍。

DON:You have?

唐:你有什么秘诀吗?

YAEL:It all has to do with what scientists call trait transference, the process through which observers deduce facts about other people based on the things those people say.

雅艾尔:这一切都与科学家们所谓的特质转移有关,在这一进程中,观察人员根据这些人说的事情演绎别人的事实。

Researchers studying trait transference conducted an experiment in which they divided participants into two groups.

研究人员进行了一项研究特质转移的实验,他们把参与者们分成两组。

Members of the first group watched videos of people describing themselves, and members of the second group watched videos of people describing acquaintances.

第一组看描述自己的视频,而第二组则观看人们描述熟人的视频。

And here's the interesting thing.

而后有趣的事情出现了。

The observers associated the traits the speakers talked about with the speakers themselves, even if the speakers were describing their acquaintances.

观察人员演讲者谈论的相关特征与演讲者自己联系起来,即使说话人是描述他们的熟人。

In other words, when you hear a stranger saying someone is mean, you end up thinking the stranger is the mean one.

换句话说,当你听到一个陌生人说别人吝啬,你最终会认为这位陌生人是个吝啬鬼。

DON:But that makes no sense.

唐:但这简直没有道理。

YAEL:The researchers were surprised too, and here is what they think happens.

雅艾尔:研究人员也对此发现感到惊讶,接下来就是他们认为发生的事情。

When a person says something, the first thing you do is figure out the gist of what he or she is saying.

当一个人说了一些事情,你的第一反应是找出他或她说的要点。

So if I tell you my friend George is mean, the gist of that will be meanness.

所以如果我告诉你我的朋友乔治吝啬，毋庸置疑要点就是吝啬。

But because I'm the one talking, you begin to associate that trait with me.

但是,因为我是说话者,你开始将这一特点与我联系。

DON:Kind of like shooting the messenger.

唐:有点像是当头棒喝。

YAEL:Exactly. And eventually, you forget whether I was talking about myself or someone else, and end up thinking I'm the mean one.

雅艾尔:的确如此。最终,你忘了我是否在谈论自己或别人,最终会想我是个吝啬鬼。

DON:So if you say nice things about other people, they'll end up thinking you're the nice one.

唐:所以,如果你说的是别人的好话,他们最终可能会认为你是个不错的家伙。

YAEL:You got it. I guess that old saying is true:

雅艾尔:现在你明白其中道理了。我想老话说的都是真理:

if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!

如果你嘴里没好话，那干脆就什么也别说!