Carol: We need the TV, Mike.
Mike: Can’t you see I'm in the middle of a show here.
Carol: Yeah, well, I got a better show. Mom took all the old movies and put them on tapes so
that we can see them.
Mike: Why?
Jason: Well, this ought to be fun.
Maggie: Hurry up, Ben.
Jason: Front row.
Mike: Dad, you are embarrassing me.
Jason: What? You're not excited about seeing yourself in diapers with drool running down
your chin?
Carol: He can just look in the mirror to see that.
Maggie: Oh, Mike was such a cute little baby.
Mike: Alright. Look, I have to go to study, OK?
Jason: What’s the matter, there's a full moon?
Mike: Yeah, I am really very sorry I'm going to miss out on all this family fun. Gee I do really
love it too. You know when we pal around like this. But hey, I have to stu....
Jason: your mother has gone to a lot of trouble putting these films on tape
Maggie: It's OK. If he doesn’t want to see them.
Jason: He does.
Mike: Dad, you are suggesting that I shouldn’t study?
Jason: Yes, I am. Mike, I think you are spending far too much time studying and too little
time staring blankly at the TV.
Carol: Ben, we are not waiting for you, your tape is first.
Ben: Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!
Maggie: Ben, you just ate a full dinner.
Ben: This is not for me, this is for my family who I love.
Carol: Here we go!
Ben: Hey. You said the first tape was me, this is Mike.
Ben: Gee, Mike, you sure look like a lady.
Mike: Guy alright, I’m staying. All right, and the least you could do is put off my humiliation
until he's asleep.
Jason: Well, this sure cuts into my fun., and how about you, Maggie?
Maggie: Yes, humiliating Mike was one reason I had these movies transferred. But if he'll stop
make snide comments and join in the fun by playing a little background music, just so 5 years
of piano lessons don’t go down the drain.
Mike: All right, look, I know this family fun is going to kill me.
Carol: This is my tape.
Mike: She’s a maniac, maniac I know. As she's dancing like she’s never danced before.
Carol: I'm not playing this while he’s here.
Jason: can you guys be a little bit mature and just let a tape play?
Carol: what is this? Who is this?
Maggie: I bet you even forgot you had these.
Mike: hey, dad you never told us you had a brother who was a geek.
Ben: That’s dad, he’s the geek.
Mike: Oh, come on , after all mom went to a lot of trouble putting all these movies on tape.
Maggie: Ok, if he doesn’t want to see them, that’s OK.
Jason: Oh, Maggie, I want to see my tape, yes.
Ben: Hi, I know, let’s watch my tape.
Jason: Oh, no, no. I will be proud to show my tape.
Mike: Yeah
Jason: Thank you, Mike.
Carol: This is the far out group you led in college?
Jason: That’s us---the Wild Hots.
Maggie: Come on guys, that was the perfect name. They were wild and they were hot.
Mike: and they were all babies.
Carol: You were on TV?
Jason: Yes, the rock and roll talents which we were the state finalist from Road Island.
Maggie: I still remember my dad’s reaction when you came to pick me up in that costume. He
said you look like a Vietcong.
Jason: Yeah, I was younger than him like we were.
Maggie: He was the same age you are now.
Jason: No.
Maggie: Yes.
Jason: Really?
Maggie: Really.
Jason: No. He was pushing forty odd...
Carol: Ah, they're doing the twist.
Jason: Well, I think we're low on popcorn and I’ll get a little more.
Maggie: Oh, honey, I’m sorry.
Mike: Alright, I'm out of here
Ben: Hey, I know. Let’s watch my tape.
Carol: Ben, the party is over.
Ben: Ah….
Maggie: You are very quiet tonight. In fact, you are so quiet it's like you are not even here.
Jason, honey I was talking to you.
Jason: Sorry.
Maggie: I think seeing yourself that young has made you feel a little old.
Jason: Old? Ha!
Maggie: In fact I would guess you were in that bathroom staring in the mirror probably
looking for gray hairs.
Jason: well, you couldn’t be more wrong. I'm hardly the kind of guy who goes looking for gray
hairs.
Maggie: I’m sorry, you are right. That’s ridiculous. Of course you weren't looking for gray
hairs.
Jason: I’m a young man.
Maggie: Ok, I’m sorry. It's just that you’ve never been so sensitive about your age before.
Jason: I’m not now, either. Even know as you pointed out, I am the same age as your parents
were when we met , which is not even true because your dad was six months older.
Ben: Bye, mom.
Maggie: Ben, where are you going?
Ben: Stinkey’s, I told dad.
Maggie: Ben!
Ben: Mom.
Maggie: I’m glad you told your father that you were going to Stinkey’s. but your father
Doesn’t know that I wanted you to clean your room this morning.
Ben: But mom I promised Stinkey he could see the tape of dad looking funny.
Maggie: No, absolutely not.
Ben: Then I don’t get to see the pictures of Stinkey’s mom before she got fat.
Maggie: Ben, go to your room and don't come out until it's clean.
Mike: See you later mom. I'm going to go over to the school yard and shoot some hoops. Ok?
Maggie: OK. Hoops? Mike, wait.
Mike: No, my room’s already cleaned mom.
Maggie: No.
Mike: No my clean clothes are in the drawer and my dirty clothes are in hand.
Maggie: No, Mike, that’s not what I want to talk about.
Mike: You mean I did all that for nothing?
Maggie: Mike, I want to ask you a favor.
Mike: What?
Maggie: you see after watching all those old movies last night, well your father started feeling
old.
Mike: Well he is.
Maggie: No, I mean old as in out of it, over the hill.
Mike: Yeah.
Maggie: Michel please, I want you to help me make your father feel a little younger. Is that so
hard for you to understand?
Mike: hey, mom. How can he feel old when he's married to a young fox like you?
Maggie: Oh, Michel, would you please play a little basketball with your dad? And..
Mike: Throw the game?
Maggie: Well.
Mike: Take a dive.
Maggie: Yeah.
Mike: and no one will know about it.
Maggie: Right.
Mike: OK. No problem. I'm an old hand at fooling dad. Oh, dad!
Maggie: Such a nice boy. Such a foxy young mother.
Mike: Hay, nice drive dad.
Jason: what can I say. I’m good.
Mike: Here we go!
Mike: Here you are, you are so quick today here.
Jason: Yes. You wouldn’t by any chance be letting me win, would you?
Mike: Letting you win? Are you kidding, Why would I want to do that?
Jason: For one thing your mom doesn’t like to admit when she’s wrong.
Mike: Mom? And why would she think that you feel old. I mean…
Jason: I’m warning you Mike. Don't start patronizing your old man, I mean father. Because I
can still keep up with you.
Mike: Yeah right dad.
Jason: Oh, really. Come on, take your best shot, let’s see who sucker and winner at the end
of this one. OK?
Mike: All right?
Jason: Sure. None of that hot dog stuff. Real game, real game. Unless you are afraid to be
humiliated? I'll understand. are you going to try out for the girls team this year?
Mike: No
Jason: OK, lucky shot.
Mike: Come on dad, it’s twenty-eight. Am I banked
Jason: OK, all right, I let you off the hook this time.
Ben: Come on, dad. Only twenty-five more points and you're right back in it.
Mike: Come on, Ben. Can’t you see the man is tired.
Jason: Oh, what's the matter? Afraid I'm going to catch up? I was just getting my second
wind.
Ben: all right, dad. Come on, you can do it, shut him down.
Jason: Ah..(falling down.)
Mike: Come on dad. Hey dad, are you all right?
Jason: I slipped on something.
Ben: What is it?
Jason: I turned my ankle.
Mike: Look, I knew you couldn't play too long. You know parents never listen.
Jason: No, I’m fine. All right. Just give me a minute, I can walk it off.
Mike: Hey look dad, I am really bushed. I couldn’t play another second. I…
Jason: OK.
Mike: OK.I am going to go over to the school yard and get a game, right? See you later.
Ben: Dad, I think you are a rock player.
Jason: Yeah, I know how to play
Ben: Especially for a guy of your age.
Jason: Ah!
Ben: Don’t worry, dad. I’ll take care of you.
Mike: Ben, what are you doing here?
Ben: I live here.
Mike: You're supposed to have dad out of the house by now?
Ben: What do you want from me? The man has to go to the bathroom.
Maggie: Ben, where’s your dad?
Ben: In the bathroom I hope.
Maggie: So what do you think, Ben?
Ben: I think this is going to make him even more depressed
Maggie: Oh, no. Ben. Once he starts to play rock and roll, he's going to start to feel like this
again.
Ben: That’s good?
Maggie: You bet!
Mike: Where do you want to stash this thing until the party?
Maggie: OK, in the kitchen. I'll have your father go out the front door
Carol: I’ll get it.
A Man: I’m David Sax from party animal party rentals.
Carol: You are early.
Man: That’s our policy.
Carol: No.
Man: Yes, it is.
Carol: No. It's supposed to be a surprise for my dad and my dad is still here
Man: Bummer.
Jason: Let’s go, Ben.
Man: No, maybe I can….
Jason: Come on, Ben. This is your idea to go to the zoo, let’s go!
Ben: This is going to be great. I want to spend the whole day at the snake house.
Jason: Anybody else want to come?
Maggie: No, I’ve got things to do.
Jason: Carol?
Carol: Oh, no. Darn it! You know how I love to see Gods creatures in cages, but I have to
study
Ben: Let’s roll!
Carol: No, you have to go to the kitchen.
Maggie and Ben: No!
Maggie: Carol, the kitchen floor is wet.
Carol: Well so is the porch.
Maggie: Carol.
Carol: Mom.
Jason: Well, apparently there’s no way out, Ben, I guess we’ll have to stay here.
Maggie, Carol and Ben: No!
Jason: What’s going on here?
Maggie: Oh, I know. The kitchen floor is probably dry by now. If you go out that way, Jason.
Jason: Thanks Maggie!
Maggie: So, the kitchen, it is then.
Mike: Are you four all right?
Jason: Mike, what’s this?
Mike: What’s what, dad?
Jason: What’s the mess you are making?
Mike: This mess as you call it, just happens to be my project for art class. I call it “hold the
onions or I'll kill you"
Ben: Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!
Mike: Seavor, you're good! And the kid can paint.
Mike: Hello, testing one two three. Louder Carol. Ladies and gentlemen...Bruce Springsteen!
Maggie: Mike!
Mike: Mom?
Maggie: Can you hold it down we still have a lot to do.
Mike: OK, mom. No problem.
Maggie: Oh, we have less than an hour left. Is everything ready?
Man: Wola!
Carol: Ladies and gentlemen! Madonna!
Maggie: Carol, not you too!
Mike: mom. If this doesn't cheer dad up I think you'll have to divorce him.
Maggie: Of course it’ll work. He'll be seeing his old friends, his old band, it will give him a
whole new outlook.
(The door bell rang.)
Maggie: I’ll get it. Oh, Carol, would you and Mike put up some more balloons?
Mike: OK.
Maggie: Rick!
Rick: Oh, Maggie!
Maggie: How are you!
Rick: Wild and hot!
Maggie: You look sensational. You haven’t changed a bit.
Rick: Oh, maybe just a little bit. Oh, wow! The Wild Hots never played in a place this classic
before.
Maggie: Kids, this is Rick. Rick, this is Carol and Mike.
Mike and Carol: Hi!
Rick: Oh….Maggie. By the way, Maggie. The Wild Hots is going to sound a little thin tonight.
We don't have a keyboard man
Maggie: Warren said he'd be here
Rick: Well, he’s had a little coronary.
Maggie: Oh dear!
Rick: Nothing serious. He’s going to be up in about a week or so.
Maggie: Wait a minute. Mike can fill in on keyboards.
Mike: Hay, Mom. I don’t know those stupid, fol....classics.
Rick: If you know five chords then you know two more than we do.
Man: Radical?
Mike: Mom, I think we go through with this, there's a good chance that dad is going to drown
himself.
Maggie: No, I don’t think it sounded that bad
WoMan: Maggie, do you have any aspirin?
Mike: I rest my case!
Maggie: Ok, Mike. You're right, but what am I supposed to do? I can't just throw all these
people out.
Mike: I don’t know mom, but we can handle this. I can set the kitchen on fire.
Maggie: No, I like the kitchen.
Mike: Oh, I know. How about dad’s office?
Maggie: No, it’s OK. I'll handle this
Maggie: Rick? Rick? Hay! Excuse me, everyone. We’ve had a slight change of plans and I've
just learned that Jason has been called to the hospital on an emergency, in another state. I
know, I'm as disappointed as you are, but he won't be back for days
Ben: Surprise! What’s with you people?
Jason: What’s this? How are you? Oh it’s been years. Maggie, what's the occasion?
Rick: Ladies and gentlemen,. The founder of Wild Hots Jammins Jason Seavor
Jason: Hay, how are you, nice to see you!
Maggie: I think it’s going well, do you think it’s going well? I think it’s going well.
Jason: This is great, oh, where’s Warren?
Rack: Oh, he had a, he had a heart attack.
Jason: What?
Rack: OK, he’ll be fine.
Jason: He’s thirty-eight years old.
Rick: I guess he's finally learned that he can't keep up with the youngsters.
Maggie: Excuse me, Jason, can I talk with you for a minute?
Jason: Better make it quick.
Jason: Can you imagine that? A heart attack at thirty eight!
Maggie: Oh, honey, I had no idea when I planned this.
Jason: What about Rick’s crone dome?
Maggie: Well, a lot of men lose their hair early.
Jason: Yeah, if they had nuclear waste in their shorts!
Maggie: The last thing I wanted to do with this party is depress you
Jason: I'm not depressed
Maggie: No. you are too.
Jason: No, I’m not.
Maggie: Seeing how these guys look now even depresses me
Jason: Oh, they do have a few miles on them, don’t they?
Maggie: A few miles? How about the entire inner state high way system?
Jason: And they are the same age as I am.
Maggie: Oh, honey, compared with them you look like Rickey Shrouder.
Jason: Yeah, yes, I do. Younger than Rickey Shrouder. And I’m the same age as these guys,
not that that matters.
Maggie: Jason, I’ve been trying for two weeks to tell you that you weren’t old.
Jason: But would I listen?
Maggie: No.
Rock: Hey Dude. We knocked the rust off the edges and we are really cooking but we need the
jammer.
Jason: This songs for you. It's going to make you wild and hot.
Jason: One, two, three, four.
Let’s take those old records off the shelf. Sit and listen to them by myself
Today’s music ain’t got the same soul as that old time rock and roll,
call me a rebel call me what you will. Say I'm old fashioned say I'm over the hill
Today’s music ain’t got the same soul as that old time rock and roll
I love that old time rock and roll. That kind of music does soothe my soul
I reminisce about the days of old, and that old time rock and roll.
Mike: dad, I can’t keep up with you
Jason: don’t you forget it, kid
Jason: I love old time rock and roll, that kind of music to smooth a sole,
I reminisce about the days of old, and that old time rock and roll
Jason: If I give my heart to you, I must be sure from the very start, that you would love me
more
Maggie: Jason, how long are you going to play guitar?
Jason: Just a few minutes, I promise. If I trust in you, oh please. Hey Maggie, I can't play in
the dark
Maggie: Well, I can.