英语沙龙：如何与难对付的老板相处（在线收听）

How to handle a difficult boss

A difficult or abusive1) boss can poison2) the best of jobs．But you are not powerless；before you even consider quitting，try the boss－taming strategies below．

CHANGE YOUR OWN WAYS Few people are randomly violent．They blow up on particular occasions over particular issues．Track your boss's peeves3) and patterns，then eliminate the triggers within your control．For example，if he snarls when you arrive just five minutes late to work or make one type on a memo，avoid these slipups4) no matter how trivial they seem．If one of your coworkers manages your boss's moods skillfully，ask him what you could be doing more effectively，then borrow a few of his moves．

STAY COOL UNDER FIRE Respond to the content of your boss's tirade，not the curses．Whatever you do，don't cower，stammer or apologize．Some people get off on brutalizing5) others，and passivity makes you a target．Respond confidently：Say“I'd like to put together a report that will satisfy you．Let's discuss how I can make that happen．”

USE CONSTRUCTIVE CONFRONTATION Your boss may be more willing to change his behavior than you think．Some managers don't realize how much their words or actions upset staffers．Tell him how his out－bursts make you feel．Say，for example，“When you call me names and criticize my work in meetings I feel demoralized6)．Please address me respectfully and take me aside to discuss criticisms in private．”If he values your work，he may rein in his abusiveness．

APPEAL TO A HIGHER AUTHORITY If your boss becomes intolerably abusive，you may have to go above his head to your personnel department or senior manager．But before you take this course，discreetly7) ask coworkers if they've clashed with your boss in the past．

Ideally，they will back you up and permit you to mention their names when you make your charges．That way，you can bring a pattern of behavior to management's attention．Begin by asking，“Can I have a discussion with you off the record？”Then cite examples that show how your boss's treatment negatively affects your performance．Make it clear that you want to improve the situation，not punish your boss．If discipline is what he needs，let the higher－ups make that call．

□by Laurel Touby

如何与难对付的老板相处

一个难缠或喜欢滥用权力的老板可能会将好端端的工作搞砸。但你并不是完全无能为力的；在你考虑不干之前，不妨试一试下面几种对付老板的策略：

改变你自己的办事方式

很少有人是随意发火的。他们一般是在特定场合因特定的事而发作的。你要摸清你的老板的脾气，并尽可能消除隐患。比如，他为了你上班仅迟到５分钟或打错了一个字便大发雷霆，那么你就要尽量避免这类疏忽，不论它们看起来多么微不足道。如果你的某位同事善于应付老板的情绪，那你就向他请教一下你怎么做才能更为有效，不妨借用他的一些手段。

在盛怒下保持冷静　　

只可回应你老板所责骂的事，而不回应他的恶言恶语。不论怎样，都不要畏缩、支吾或抱歉。有些人自认为可以对他人蛮横，而逆来顺受就会使你成为其目标。你要自信地回应说：“我想准备一份令你满意的报告。让我们谈谈我怎么做为好吧”。

采用建设性的对抗方式　　

你的老板可能比你所想像的更乐于改变其态度。有些经理并没有认识到他们的言行使下属感到多少不快，可以告诉他，你对他发怒的感受。比如说：“当你在会议上责骂我，批评我的工作时，我感到很沮丧。请尊重我，把我叫到一边私下里提出你的批评。”如果他看重你的工作，他会对自己的谩骂有所收敛的。

诉诸更高的上级

如果你的老板滥用权力令人难以容忍，你就得越过他直接找人事部门或高级经理。但在你采取这一步骤之前，要谨慎地询问一下同事，他们是否过去也与你的老板有过冲突。他们可能会支持你并且允许你在上告时提到他们的名字。这样你就可以提请公司主管注意你老板的不当行为。

你可以这样发问：“我能和你作一次非正式的谈话吗？”然后举例说明你上司的作法如何影响你的工作。你要表明你想改进现状，而非惩罚你的老板。如果你的老板需要纪律约束的话，那就让上级打电话通知他吧。