TED演讲:一段无人了解的经历(3)（在线收听）

I was completely powerless to change anything in my life or people's perceptions of me.

我无法改变生命中的任何事情，对改变别人对我的认知也无能为力。

I was a silent, invisible observer of how people behaved when they thought no one was watching.

我是一个无声的，隐形的，观察人们行为的观察者，人们以为没有人看到发生了什么。

Unfortunately, I wasn't only an observer. With no way to communicate, I became the perfect victim:

不幸的是，我不仅仅是一个观察者，由于没有沟通的能力，我变成了完美的受害者：

a defenseless object, seemingly devoid of feelings that people used to play out their darkest desires.

一个没有防御的，看起来完全没有感知的物体，变成了人们发泄黑暗欲望的完美工具。

For more than 10 years, people who were charged with my care abused me physically, verbally and sexually.

超过十年来，一些本应该来照顾我的人，在肢体上、言语上、性行为上虐待我。

Despite what they thought, I did feel. The first time it happened, I was shocked and filled with disbelief.

无论他们如何认为，我感知到了这一切。第一次发生这种事情时，我被震惊所淹没。

How could they do this to me? I was confused. What had I done to deserve this? Part of me wanted to cry and another part wanted to fight.

他们怎么能这么对我？我非常疑惑。我做了什么竟遭受到如此对待？我的一部分极力的想要哭泣，另外的一部分极力的想要反抗。

Hurt, sadness and anger flooded through me, I felt worthless, there was no one to comfort me, but neither of my parents knew this was happening.

伤痛，悲怆以及激愤在我心中一涌而出，我觉得自已分文不值，没有人能够安慰我，但我的父母不知道这些事情的发生。

I lived in terror, knowing it would happen again and again. I just never knew when. All I knew was that I would never be the same.

我生活在恐惧之中，深知这一切将会一直重复下去。只是不知道何时会遭受下一次而已。我只知道我永远不再是曾经的自己了。

I remember once listening to Whitney Houston singing, "No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignity."

我想起曾听到惠特尼·休斯顿唱道：“不论他们从我这里拿走了什么，他们永远带不走我的尊严。”

And I thought to myself, "You want to bet?"

我自己想到，“你想打个赌么？”