TED演讲:一段无人了解的经历(5)（在线收听）

Seeing my father walk through the door to collect me was the best moment of the day.

每次看到父亲穿过大门进来接我的一刻，都是那一天最美好的时候。

My mind became a tool that I could use to either close down to retreat from my reality or enlarge into a gigantic space that I could fill with fantasies.

我的思维变成了可以被我利用的工具，我抑或压抑思维，用它来逃避现实抑或无限扩大，使它成为一个可以被幻想填充的巨大空间。

I hoped that my reality would change and someone would see that I had come back to life.

我曾是那么渴望我的处境得到改变，希望有人能够看出我已经重回人间。

But I had been washed away like a sand castle built too close to the waves, and in my place was the person people expected me to be.

但我已经像一个被海浪冲刷过的，建在离浪头太近的沙滩城堡，我的位置已经被一个人们认为的我所取代。

To some I was Martin, a vacant shell, the vegetable, deserving of harsh words, dismissal and even abuse.

对于一些人来说，我是那个空壳植物人马丁，理应被辱骂、被忽视甚至被虐待。

To others, I was the tragically brain-damaged boy who had grown to become a man. Someone they were kind to and cared for.

对其他人来说，我是那个长大成人的悲剧男孩，曾遭受严重的脑部损伤，理应得到照顾和善良的对待。

Good or bad, I was a blank canvas onto which different versions of myself were projected.

不管是好是坏，我像是一面空白的帆布，上面可以投射出我的不同模样。

It took someone new to see me in a different way. An aromatherapist began coming to the care home about once a week.

需要一个新的人从不同的视角看待我，这时一个芳香疗法专家开始每周去一次康复中心。

Whether through intuition or her attention to details that others failed to notice, she became convinced that I could understand what was being said.

可能是因为她的直觉，也可能是因为一些被别人忽视的细节，她逐渐确信我能理解人们所说的话。

She urged my parents to have me tested by experts in augmentative and alternative communication.

她急切的要求我的父母将我送去专家那里做检查，进行辅助替代的交流。

And within a year, I was beginning to use a computer program to communicate. It was exhilarating, but frustrating at times.

不到一年，我开始利用电脑程序与人交流，这是令人振奋的，但有时令人沮丧。

I had so many words in my mind, that I couldn't wait to be able to share them. Sometimes, I would say things to myself simply because I could.

我脑海里千头万绪，但不能与人分享。有时我与自己对话，只是因为我可以这么做。