时代周刊:如果你爱他,请记得拥抱他(1)（在线收听）

Grateful for the hugs I can share, haunted by the ones I can't

感谢我可以拥有的拥抱，怀念我无法再拥有的

I'm at the stage of pandemic life when I am still counting the hugs.

新冠疫情期间，我拥抱的次数越来越少了。

The first time I invited a good friend not just over to but into my house, postvaccination, sans masks, I couldn't even wait until she walked up to my door—I ran outside to greet her, and we tackle-hugged each other in the driveway. We both held on tight, the otherworldly buzz of a thousand cicadas in our ears, as we took turns exclaiming how good it was to see each other. We hadn't hung out in person since January 2020, and of course I was looking forward to talking, sharing a meal, catching up on all her news—but somehow I'd forgotten that before any of that happened, I would also get to hug her. It was my first hug from a friend in more than a year, and a reminder of just how comforting a good hug can be.

在接种疫苗之后，我第一次邀请一个好朋友到我家里，我没有戴口罩，我甚至等不及她走到我家门口便匆忙跑出去迎接她。之后，我们便在车道上互相拥抱，我们紧紧地抱着，感叹着此刻的美好，就连耳旁嗡嗡的蝉鸣也好似超越了尘世。我们从2020年1月起就没再见面过，我当然特别期待能和她聊一聊，聊聊她的近况，然后一起吃个饭，——但不知怎的，我竟忘记了在这一切发生之前我也可以拥抱她。这是一年多以来我从朋友那里得到的第一个拥抱，它提醒着我一个好的拥抱是多么地令人欣慰。

I've been a hugger since middle school, when my friends and I would run up to one another in the halls between classes and embrace as though we hadn't just seen one another the day before and wouldn't see one another again at lunch. In high school, I volunteered at a Girl Scouts camp every summer, and at the end of each session, many of our campers would seek us out to say goodbye. My fellow counselors and I would typically offer them a choice: Hug, handshake or high five? Most of the kids would choose a hug. But there were always at least a few who would opt for a high five, some slapping hard enough to make my hand sting a little, or a handshake, at times delivered so solemnly I felt like we were going into business together. I always appreciated this ritual, especially the individual ask, because it allowed me to think about and honor each camper's wishes. As I venture out from my pandemic bubble, I hope to bring the same kind of intentionality to every much anticipated reunion.

从中学起我就喜欢拥抱，那时我和我的朋友会在课间跑到大厅里互相拥抱，就好像我们前天没有见过面，午餐时也不会再见面一样。高中时，每年夏天我都会去女童子军夏令营做志愿者。每次夏令营结束时许多露营者都会来找我们道别。我的同事和我通常会给他们一个选择：拥抱、握手还是击掌？大多数孩子会选择拥抱，但还是有些人会选择和我击掌，有些孩子会拍得很用力，手都给我拍疼了，有些孩子会和我握手，有时握手的方式非常严肃，让我觉得我们是在一起做生意。我一直很感激这种仪式，尤其是个人询问，因为这让我能够考虑并尊重每个露营者的愿望。当我冒险走出我的新冠保护仓时，我希望能够把同样的意图带给每一场备受期待的团聚。