《简·爱》 Chapter 37 第三十七章（27）（在线收听）

I did wrong: I would have sullied my innocent flower -- breathed guilt on its purity: the Omnipotent snatched it from me.

我做错了，我会玷污清白的花朵——把罪孽带给无辜，要不是上帝把它从我这儿抢走的话。

I, in my stiff-necked rebellion, almost cursed the dispensation: instead of bending to the decree, I defied it.

我倔强地对抗，险些儿咒骂这种处置方式，我不是俯首听命，而是全不放在眼里。

Divine justice pursued its course; disasters came thick on me: I was forced to pass through the valley of the shadow of death.

神的审判照旧进行，大祸频频临头。我被迫走过死荫的幽谷，

His chastisements are mighty; and one smote me which has humbled me for ever.

”他的惩罚十分严厉，其中一次惩罚是使我永远甘于谦卑。

You know I was proud of my strength: but what is it now, when I must give it over to foreign guidance, as a child does its weakness?

你知道我曾对自己的力量非常自傲，但如今它算得了什么呢？我不得不依靠他人的指引，就像孩子的孱弱一样。

Of late, Jane -- only -- only of late -- I began to see and acknowledge the hand of God in my doom.

最近，简——只不过是最近——我在厄运中开始看到并承认上帝之手。

I began to experience remorse, repentance; the wish for reconcilement to my Maker.

我开始自责和忏悔，情愿听从造物主。

I began sometimes to pray: very brief prayers they were, but very sincere.

有时我开始祈祷了，祷告很短，但很诚恳。

"Some days since: nay, I can number them -- four; it was last Monday night,

“已经有几天了，不，我能说出数字来——四天。那是上星期一晚上——

a singular mood came over me: one in which grief replaced frenzy -- sorrow, sullenness.

我产生了一种奇怪的心情：忧伤，也就是悲哀和阴沉代替了狂乱。

I had long had the impression that since I could nowhere find you, you must be dead.

我早就想，既然到处找不着你，那你一定已经死了。

Late that night -- perhaps it might be between eleven and twelve o'clock --

那天深夜——也许在十一、二点之间——我闷闷不乐地去就寝之前，

ere I retired to my dreary rest, I supplicated God, that, if it seemed good to Him,

祈求上帝，要是他觉得这么做妥当的话，可以立刻把我从现世收去，

I might soon be taken from this life, and admitted to that world to come,

准许我踏进未来的世界，

where there was still hope of rejoining Jane.

那儿仍有希望与简相聚。”