访谈录 2008-03-07&-3-09, 女人为什么会撒谎 I（在线收听）

Advice columnist Ann Landers once said the naked truth is always better than the best-addressed lie. But some new information on women and lying could leave you wondering was anyone listening.

I'm sleeping with a 25-year-old.

what did you just say?

I'm sleeping with a 25-year-old.

On NBC's Lipstick Jungle, one woman lies on the job when accused of sexual harassment.

Is any truth? Jessie /,

No, absolutely not.

And in the classic film, / /, this woman is both chased wife and an unknown / husband, a prostitute.

Sure, these are the stories of the big and small screen, but / / / real-life drama more than you don't initially think.

A new book "Little white lies, deep dark screts" suggested that the answer to that question is yes. Its author found women use lies in a broad range of areas as a mean to an end. 75% of women say have to lie in the workplace to sustain their positions. 60% admit to addiction secret. 50% have mixed emotions about mothering.

I think that women, you know, keep secrets in order to protect themselves. uh, nobody likes to be judged, you know, I do have a very open relationship with my children, but when they ask me direct questions, I don't feel it will go with beneficial to, you know, to answer them.

I think everyone, you know, can tell the truth, after all, they are at different time, in different ways, in different situations, and because of that, you know, all different types of things can be considered lie, yeah.

Sometimes, I lay on bed and said, if that, if that telling a lie by not telling how you really feel, then I do, I'm going to yell it.

Lie is a survivor mechanism, so we answer, we definitely all do it.

And Susan Shapiro Barash, she is the author of "Little white lies, deep dark secrets". / / is a relationship therapist. Good morning to both of you.

I want to point out that those two women, each of them, they are not serious liars by any means, they are just speaking in general terms about women and lie. And Susan, you find out that your research that most women live by this code of lying, secrets and the deception. Is it something that harder white lie in us, or is it nurtured?

I think it both mirrored, it's partly the culture, really almost encouraging women to make a secret of anything that is whether supposed to do, perhaps, addiction, women lie about money, and then nurturing while our mother to often / / kind of, lie compassionately, you don't tell your French doesn't look good, in an address you don't tell your husband you don't like the necklace people at home.

But those are innocent lies, are they?

Innocent lies, but they can take you to the lie that you really need and sometimes it's just convenient to lie. That will be women have to decide.

We have some of our viewers to email us things that they lie about, and one woman wrote my biggest lie would be my happiness in my marriage. I'm actually miserable but put on the facade that all is ok. Another said that I don't tell my husband exactly how much money we have and what we owe. I also don't him how much of a tax refund we received.

Now those, those are going towards the bad, are they?

Well, these are better / lie, the lie to improve the situation, and you know if you reveal your secret, you feel that it is not really going to help you.