CHAPTER EIGHT Life with Mr. Rochester
Now that Mr. Rochester had returned , Thornfield hall was very busy. Many people came to visit his and talk about business. Adele was too excited to study. That evening we had tea with Mr. Rochester. Of course, this was the man I had helped, with his dark hair and skin. Although his eyes were firm, they had a little humor in them. His leg was supported on a chair. He did not speak to me when I came in.
“Did you bring a fift for Miss Eyre, uncle?” Adele asked him.
“A gift? Who wants a gift?” he said. “Did you want a gift, Miss Eyre? Do you like gifts?”
“I’ve never gotten a gift, sir,” I answered.” Anyway, I have no right to expect a gift from you, because I haven’t done anything to deserve one.”
“why, Miss Eyre, don’t be so modest! I’ve been talking to Adele. She’s not very clever, but you’ve taught her very well.”
“well then, sir, that is my gift. A teacher is happiest when her students do well.”
Mr. Rochester drank his tea without speaking. After tea, he asked me to come and sit with him, while Adele played with Mrs. Fairfax.
“where did you live before you came here?” he asked.
“I was at Lowood School for eight years, sir.”
“eight years! I’m surprised you lasted so long in that terrible place. You know, there is something wonderful in your face. What about your parents?”
“they died when I was a baby, sir. I don’t remember them.”
“and your other family? Where are they?”
“I have none.”
“who told you to come here?”
“I put a message in the newspaper, saying I was looking for work as a governess. Mrs. Fairfax asked me to come here and work.” I said.
“Yes,” said Mrs. Fairfax, “ and sir, I can’t tell you how glad I am that she came! She’s a wonderful teacher for Adele, and a good friend to me.”
“Now, Mrs. Fairfax, don’t say nice things about Miss Eyre,” said Mr. Rochester sternly. “I am sure that her magic made my horse fall down in the road yesterday!”
Mrs. Fairfax looked as if she did not understand, but I saw a light of humor in Mr. Rochester’s eyes.
“Miss Eyre,” said Mr. Rochester’s eyes.
“Miss Eyre,” said Mr. Rochester, “how old were you when you first came to Lowood?”
“I was almost ten years old. Sir.”
“And you lived there eight years, so you are now eighteen. When I first saw your face, I did not know how old you were. what did you learn at the school? Can you play the piano?”
“A little.”
“Play us a song on the piano, then . it is in the library.” I did as he asked.
But after I had played for a few minutes, he said, “That’s enough, Miss Eyre. You do not play very well, but you are better than some others! Now, bring me your drawings.” I got them from my room. He looked at them for awhile and then pointed to three.
“These three drawings are interesting,” he said. “Where do your ideas come from? Who taught you to how to draw wind, and space, and feelings? But now it is late, Miss Eyre,so put them away. Adele should go to bed now. good night to you all!” It seemed that Mr. Rochester suddenly wanted to be alone.
Later that evening I had tea with Mrs. Fairfax in the kitchen.
“Mrs. Fairfax, you told me that Mr. Rochester was a little strange,” I said.
“Well, what do you think, dear?”
“I think he is a very strange man. I am not sure what I think of him!”
“He may seem strange way to you. But I know him very well, so I understand him a little. He has had family problems, you know.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, he had an older brother, who died nine years ago.”
“Nine years is a long time to be upset. Is he still unhappy because of this death?”
“Well, you see, there were a lot of bad feelings and anger in this house. Just before their father died, he gave the older brother the house and almost all the money. Mr. Edward (that’s Mr. Rochester) was angry and left his family. He traveled around the world. But when his older brother died, he got Thornfield. But he doesn’t come and live here very often, and I am not surprised.”
“Why should he stay away?” I asked.
Mrs. Fairfax said nothing for a moment. She looked as if she was remembering the past. “Well, dear, perhaps he believes Thornfield Hall is a sad place.” It was clear that Mrs. Fairfax did not want to tell me anything more.
A few days later Mr. Rochester asked to talk to me after dinner. We were in the library, and Adele was talking with Mrs. Fairfax. Rochester called me over.
He whispered to me, “Adele and Mrs. Fairfax are busy, so now I can entertain myself.” Tonight he did not look so firm or angry, and there was a softness and humor in his fime, dark eyes. He saw me looking at him.
“Do you think I’m handsome, Miss Eyre?” he asked.
If this had been another person, I think I would have taken time to think, and then said something polite. But somehow, I knew that Mr. Rochester would know I was not telling the truth. So I answered at once, “No, sir.”
“Ah, you really are interesting! You are a quiet, serious person, but you are not afraid to say what you really think!”
“Sir, I’m sorry.” I said.
“No, don’t be sorry! All right, tell me. What is wrong with my appearance?”
“Oh, Mr. Rochester, I didn’t want to say unkind things about.”
“Well, now you can,” he said cheerfully. “Now, look at my head. Do you think I am intelligent?”
“I think you are extremely intelligent, sir. Would it be rude to ask, are you also good?”
“A knife in the back! Well, Miss Eyre, I wanted to be good when I was younger, but life has been hard, so I’ve become as hard and tough as an old tree. I only have a little goodness left inside.” He was looking at me very carefully, and I wondered if he was drunk. “Miss Eyre, you look as if you do not know what to say. I want conversation tonight. It’s your turn to speak.”
He was right--- I did not know what to say!
“I’m sorry if I’m rude, Miss Eyre. But I’m twenty years older, and more experienced, than you. Don’t you think I can tell you when to speak?”
“Well, no, sir, not just because you’re older than me. But if you had learned from your experiences and were very wise, maybe you could command me then.” I said.
“Well, Miss Eyre, I haven’t learned anything, so I don’t agree with you! But will you obey my orders anyway?”
“Sir, not many masters ask if their servants want to obey them,” I said, smiling.
“Of course! I’d forgotten that I pay you money! So will you agree because of the money?”
“No, sir, not because of that, I will agree because I see that you care whether a servant of yours is comfortable or not.”
“You are honest, and have feeling. There are not many girls like you. But perhaps I go too fast. Perhaps you have awful faults inside your head!”
“And perhaps you have too,” I thought.
He seemed to know what I was thinking, because he said quickly, “Yes, you’re right. I have plenty of faults. When I was young I made terrible mistakes, and I have never made everything right again. I could have been a very different person. I might have been as good as you. I am not a bad man, but I have done wrong. Why am I telling you all this? Because you’re the kind of person can really talk to. You listen and can give them hope.”
“Do you think so, sir?”
“Ido. You see, when my life was difficult, I became desperate, and did some terrible things. Now all I can do is regret the past.”
“Asking forgiveness might help you, sir.”
“How do you know this, a young girl like you” You have never been out in the world, you have no experience in life. But you are right. I will try to lead a better life.”
I stood up. The conversation was becoming very serious, and hard to understand.
“I must put Adele to bed now, sir,” I said.
“Don’t be afraid of me, Miss Eyre. I have already said that you are a very serious person. You don’t laugh very much, perhaps because of your hard life at the Lowood School. But I know you have a strong mind, and in time you will learn to laugh and talk freely. You are like a bird in a cage. When you get out of the cage, you’ll fly very high. Good night!” |