Unit 62
Love Guide
Are you really in love? Being in love is a powerful feeling. The emotions are intense. It is so exciting that it may be hard to concentrate on school, work, or family responsibilities. Sometimes people confuse real love with the possessive love seen on TV or in the movies. They believe that love is only love at first sight. But real, mature love takes time to develop. Many teens believe they are in love. They may be in love in an immature way. Sometimes teens or adults in love give up all their friends. They stop doing activities they enjoy. Some have jealous partners that never let them be alone or with another person. They are jealous any time their loved one talks to another person. Others are forced to do things they do not want to do. There is a saying that "love is blind." What we think is love may distort our ability to see the real relationship.
Mature love lets you be you. People in mature love have common interests, and are honest with each other. People who share mature love do not see the other person as the solution to their problems. They see the other person as a wonderful gift. They spend time with each other's families and friends. Mature love relationships do not cause people to give up their values. This kind of love rarely develops in the teen years.
Tired of chasing love? Remember, the secret to finding true romance is not trying so hard.
Internet dating, singles clubs and personal ads are popular. However, seeking love an set us up for disappointment. More rewarding is to focus on self-improvement, abandoning chase and attracting love into your life. Here's how to start:
Live in the present. Let go of the thought that everything would be better if only you had someone to share it with. When you meet someone, don't get fixed on possible outcomes.
Be truly selfish. Know what you want in a partner and say so.
Be self-sufficient. It's not an admission of weakness to have needs and desires -- we all have them and deserve to satisfy them. Meet them yourself in positive ways so you won't get yourself to "use" or scare off would-be partners.
Concerned about dating? Because dating can be distracting and time-consuming, many teens put off dating so they can focus on school, music, sports, or other interests. Group dates allow young teens to interact with the opposite sex in a safe environment. Being with different people lets the teen learn more about the kind of person they enjoy. |