Ⅱ. Writing Principles of the Business Letter
写信的原则
(1) Courtesy 礼貌
Courtesy is not mere politeness. It stems from a sincere You-attitude.
Compare:
(Polite)
We have received with many thanks your letter of Oct. 7, and we take the pleasure of sending you our latest catalog. We wish to draw your attention to a special offer which we have made in it.
(Courteous)
You will be particularly interested in a special offer on page 5 of the latest catalog enclosed, which you requested in your letter of Oct. 7.
In order to make a business letter courteous, try to avoid irritating, offensive, or belittling statements. To answer letters promptly is also a matter of courtesy.
(2) Consideration 体谅
Consideration emphasizes (You-attitude) rather than (We-attitude). When writing a letter keep the reader's request, needs, desires, as well as his feelings in mind. Plan the best way to present the message for the reader to receive.
The following points are necessary for writing a letter to embody consideration:
a. You-attitude
Compare:
We-attitude
We allow 2 percent discount for cash payment.
We won't be able to send you the brochure this month.
You-attitude
You earn 2 percent discount when you pay cash.
We will send you the brochure next month.
b. Focus on the positive approach
Compare:
(Positive)
We feel sure that you will be entirely satisfied.
(Negative)
We do not believe you will have cause for dissatisfaction.
(Positive)
Perhaps next time we can send you what you require.
(Negative)
We regret our inability to serve you at this time.
(3) Completeness 完整
A business letter should include all the necessary information. It is essential to check the message carefully before it is sent out.
(4) Clarity 清楚
The writer must try to express his meaning clearly so that the reader will understand it well. To achieve this, he should try to:
Avoid using the words which have different understanding or unclear meaning.
e.g. As to the steamers sailing from Hong Kong to San Francisco, we have (bimonthly) direct services.
The word "bimonthly" has two meanings: twice a month, or once two months. The reader will feel puzzled about the meaning.
(Rewriting):
a. We have two direct sailings every month from Hong Kong to San Francisco.
b. We have semimonthly direct sailing from Hong Kong to San Francisco.
c. We have a direct sailing from Hong Kong to San Francisco every two months.
Pay attention to the position of the modifiers.
e.g. a. We shall be able to supply 10 cases of the item (only).
b. We shall be able to supply 10 cases (only) of the item.
The modifier "only" in the above sentences modified two different words, so the two sentences have different meanings.
Pay attention to the sentence structure.
Compare:
e.g. a. We sent you 5 samples yesterday of the goods which you requested in your letter of May 25 by air.
b. We sent you, by air, 5 samples of the goods which you requested in your letter of May 25 yesterday.
Paragraph carefully and properly.
Commercial letters should be clear and tidy, easy to understand the content. So a writer should paragraph a letter carefully and properly. One paragraph for each point is a good general rule.
(5) Conciseness 简洁
That is using concise sentences and fewest words, without losing completeness and courtesy, to explain the meaning of a letter clearly.
The following are the methods of making a letter concise:
Avoid using wordy expressions.
wordy: We wish to acknowledge receipt of your letter….
concise: We appreciate your letter….
wordy: Enclosed herewith please find two copies of….
concise: We enclose two copies of….
Avoid unnecessary repetition.
Will you ship us any time during the month of December, or even November if you are rushed, for November would suit us just as well.
(Rewriting)
Please ship us by the end of November.
Using short sentences, simple words and clear explanations:
a. Use a word to replace a phrase:
enclosed herewith enclosed
at this time now
due to the fact that because
a draft in the amount of $1,000 a draft for $1,000
b. Use a phrase to replace a sentence.
Please don't hesitate to call upon us.
Please write us.
Please see that an enquiry is conducted to determine the reason.
Please find out the reason.
c. Use words to replace clauses:
We require full-automatic washing machine which is of the new type.
We require new-type full-automatic washing machine.
Avoid padded expressions:
(It should be noted that) this is the best we can do.
(For your information) we enclose a catalogue.
(Please be advised that) we have received your invoice.
Using subject line flexibly and properly:
Using subject line properly and flexibly can cancel the same content in the opening sentence of a letter.
(6) Concreteness 具体
Make the message specific, definite and vivid.
Compare:
ST858L 5-Band Stereo Radio Cassette Recorder is of full functions.
(Rewriting)
ST858L 5-Band Stereo Radio Cassette Recorder can delivers superb FM/MW/LW/SW1/SW2/FM Stereo band reception. Full auto-stop and automatic quick program search (AQPS system).
We have drawn on you as usual under your L/C.
(Rewriting)
We have drawn on you our sight draft No. 845 for the Invoice amount, US $560.00, under your L/C No. 246 of the China Bank.
(7) Correctness 正确
Correctness refers not only to correct usage of grammer, punctuation and spelling, but also to standard language, proper statement, accurate figures as well as the correct understanding of commercial jargons.
Grammar mistakes often occurred in business writing.
a. with pronouns.
Our competitors' prices are 2-3% lower than (us) (ours).
b. with verbs.
It is one of the machines that was (were) delivered last week.
c. With conjunctions.
This fridge not only is attractive (is attractive not only) in proper price, but also in good quality.
d. with subjects.
While studying the report, the telephone rang.
(Rewriting)
While I was studying the report, the telephone rang.
Depositing money with us, our bank can pay you high dividends.
(Rewriting)
Depositing money with us, you earn high dividends.
Avoid using overstatements.
It is the lowest price available to you.
(Rewriting)
It is the lowest price that we can offer you now.
We are well-established exporters of all kinds of goods made in Sweden.
(Rewriting)
We are well-established exporters of Swedish sundry goods, such as Toys, Buttons and Stationary.
Accurate numbers.
5% up to 10% both inclusive
up to $40 inclusive
on or after July 10
from the 1st to 15th of March both inclusive
for five days exclusive of the day of despatch.
for 15 days exclusive of Sundays
Stg. $445.00 (Four Hundred and Forty-five pounds Sterling only)
￡15.01 (Fifteen Pounds and One penny)
US $450.00 (say US Dollars Four hundred and Fifty only) or (Four Hundred and Fifty Dollars U.S. Currency) or (Four Hundred Fifty & 00/100 United States Dollars)
5ft. 10in (five feet ten inches)
1'5" × 2' × 31/2" (one foot five inches wide, two feet long, and three inches and a half thick (high))
1/4" pipe (pipe measuring 1/4 inch)
120 sq. ft. (120 square feet)
40c. ft. (40 cubic feet)
28" × 30yds. (28 inches in width, 30 yards in length)
Capital letters
Business correspondence has its special capital letter writing regulations besides the ordinary rules.
a. North, South, East, West
When they are used for districts or areas but not for orientations:
South-West Africa
North America
West Europe
b. The name and the brand of a commodity
"Great Wall" Electric Fan
"Three Stars" Calf Shoes
Chinese Cotton Piece Goods
c. The name of documents
Price List
Letter of Credit
Catalog E-35
Order No. 123
d. The name of the transportation tools
the S.S. "Merry Captain"
the S.S. "Lucky Prince"
the m.v. "East Wind"
the m.v. "Silver River"
Exercises
1. Arrange the following in the form of a letter:
(1) Sender's name: Shaanxi Machinery & Equipment Imp. & Exp. Corporation.
(2) Sender's address: 29 Changle Zhong Road, Xi'an, China
(3) Sender's telephone: 5332653
(4) Sender's telex: 70105 MAIEC CN
(5) Sender's fax: (029) 5335496
(6) Date: …
(7) Receiver's name: The Pakistan Trading Company
(8) Receiver's address: 15 Broad Street Karachi, Pakistan
(9) Attention Line: Export Dept.
(10) Salutation: Dear Sirs
(11) Subject line: …
(12) Message: …
(13) Complimentary close: …
(14) Signature: …
2. Address an envelope for the above letter.
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