2006年VOA标准英语-Japan's Husbands Learn to Be Loving

By Catherine Makino Tokyo 25 October 2006  Shinto priests lead a Japanese couple to an altar at the famed Meiji Shrine1 in Tokyo (File photo)           The National Chauvinistic3 Husband's Association is trying to change the way Japanese men treat their wives, showing them how to put quality into their marriages before it is too late. The issue is important in a country where many women are reluctant to marry and more are eager to divorce. ----- A group of Japanese men claim they have the key to better marriages. Recently, they gathered in suits and ties outside a busy train station in Tokyo and chanted their "Three Principles of Love:" saying "sorry" without fear; saying "thank you" without hesitation4; and saying "I love you" without shame. Calling themselves the National Chauvinistic Husband's Association, they say these declarations are what women want to hear. The association's members believe that if men can say these words without hesitation, they will have better relationships with their wives. These husbands have good reason to be serious about their goal of teaching men to communicate better with their families. Japan's divorce rate has been soaring in recent years, with 70 percent of the splits initiated5 by unhappy wives. The association's 54-year-old chairman, Shuichi Amano, founded it in 1999 after years of trouble in his own marriage. One evening he came home from work, at his usual late hour, and he asked his wife whether she thought it was odd that all the middle-aged6 men around him suddenly were getting divorced. "It happened several years ago, when several of my friend's wives were divorcing them," said Amano. "And when I mentioned it, my wife sharply came back with: 'Well, I think you will be next.'" Amano says her answer all but stopped his heart, then he broke out in a cold sweat. Her sharp tone told him his wife was serious. After that initial shock, Amano reflected on his relationship with his wife and daughters. At first, he rationalized that his job as a writer and editor for a publishing company kept him too busy. Eventually, Amano began to admit to himself that he was a typical chauvinist2 and did not communicate with his family. His next, and hardest, step toward self-awareness came after many discussions with a few male friends, some already ex-husbands. It sank in that his behavior had been typical of Japan's "strong" husbands, those who communicate only three things to their wives - furo, meshi, neru - meaning bath, dinner and sleep. His reflections led Amano to think about starting a program of self-improvement for other men in danger of becoming ex-husbands. He first put his energy into saving his own marriage. "I changed my attitude and decided7 to communicate with my wife and three daughters," he said. "Instead of only saying food, bath, and sleep, I washed dishes and did such things as take the trash out. My wife says I've changed, and I am more sensitive. Furthermore, she smiles at me, which she never did before." Amano was soon passing on what he learned to other men through the National Chauvinistic Husband's Association. The group's name shows that its members have been chauvinists - men who consider themselves superior to their wives - but are working together to reform. The group developed 10 levels to grade members' relations with their wives. The first level asks is he still in love with his wife after three years of marriage? The second asks does he do a good job helping8 with housework? Number three is has he ever cheated on his wife, or has his wife ever caught him cheating? As the ranks get higher, it gets tougher for these men, who have been brought up in Japan's male-dominated society. There is only one member who has attained9 level 10, the highest. He can tell his wife he loves her without embarrassment10. Amano has made it to level five, and can walk hand-in-hand with his wife. Yoko Itamoto, a Tokyo marriage counselor11, thinks Japanese men need to change their ways, because, she says, the biggest challenge facing the country is marriage. Japanese women marry later than ever before - the average age of marriage is 27. Many never marry at all. Part of the reason, experts say, is that many Japanese women feel they get no support from their husbands. The divorce rate has doubled in four decades, with more than 260,000 divorces a year. Itamoto says she finds more women now say men do not know how to communicate. "The reason the men don't know how to communicate is that they do not have the experience of making relationships and communicating with others, and normally do not talk about their families," she said. "They have only been trained to achieve in the workplace and be loyal to the company. Because they don't know how to express themselves, they can't imagine how others feel, while women are the opposite." Marriage - or the lack of it - has significant implications for all of Japan. The birth rate has fallen so low that the population is shrinking. The government worries there will not be enough young workers to provide for the growing number of elderly retirees. Amano does not see a bright future for the country if the family structure does not change. "If husbands will not change, the future will be very dark for Japan, so we are enticing12 men to join our group and learn to change their attitudes," he said. "Then the family will change and then Japan will change in a positive way." His association is doing its bit to change attitudes. It has grown from its original two members to more than 650 men. Its leaders expect more than 3,000 members by the end of the year, as more men try to improve their marriages and avoid divorce.

1 shrine   

n.圣地，神龛，庙；v.将...置于神龛内，把...奉为神圣

参考例句：

• The shrine was an object of pilgrimage.这处圣地是人们朝圣的目的地。
• They bowed down before the shrine.他们在神龛前鞠躬示敬。

2 chauvinist   

n.沙文主义者

参考例句：

• I don't know how she can live with him;he's such a male chauvinist pig!我真不理解她怎么能与他一起生活，他是个典型的大男子主义者。
• How can you do the Muslim chauvinist thing?你怎么能做穆斯林沙文主义的事情？

3 chauvinistic   

a.沙文主义(者)的

参考例句：

• The tribe has been forced to modify its chauvinistic attitudes. 部族不得不改变它的沙文主义姿态。
• And seeing others' suffering when considering your chauvinistic interests of great America. 在考虑大美沙文利益的时候想想世界的福祉。

4 hesitation   

n.犹豫，踌躇

参考例句：

• After a long hesitation, he told the truth at last.踌躇了半天，他终于直说了。
• There was a certain hesitation in her manner.她的态度有些犹豫不决。

5 initiated   

n. 创始人 adj. 新加入的 vt. 开始，创始，启蒙，介绍加入

参考例句：

• He has not yet been thoroughly initiated into the mysteries of computers. 他对计算机的奥秘尚未入门。
• The artist initiated the girl into the art world in France. 这个艺术家介绍这个女孩加入巴黎艺术界。

6 middle-aged   

adj.中年的

参考例句：

• I noticed two middle-aged passengers.我注意到两个中年乘客。
• The new skin balm was welcome by middle-aged women.这种新护肤香膏受到了中年妇女的欢迎。

7 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

8 helping   

n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的

参考例句：

• The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
• By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。

9 attained   

（通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况）

参考例句：

• She has attained the degree of Master of Arts. 她已获得文学硕士学位。
• Lu Hsun attained a high position in the republic of letters. 鲁迅在文坛上获得崇高的地位。

10 embarrassment   

n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫

参考例句：

• She could have died away with embarrassment.她窘迫得要死。
• Coughing at a concert can be a real embarrassment.在音乐会上咳嗽真会使人难堪。

11 counselor   

n.顾问，法律顾问

参考例句：

• The counselor gave us some disinterested advice.顾问给了我们一些无私的忠告。
• Chinese commercial counselor's office in foreign countries.中国驻国外商务参赞处。

12 enticing   

adj.迷人的；诱人的

参考例句：

• The offer was too enticing to refuse. 这提议太有诱惑力，使人难以拒绝。
• Her neck was short but rounded and her arms plump and enticing. 她的脖子短，但浑圆可爱；两臂丰腴，也很动人。