多功能英语阅读33 The Best Practical Joke I Ever Saw

　　The Best Practical Joke I Ever Saw
I've never been much for playing practical jokes on people, nor have Ibeen on the receiving end very often. The biggest practical joke Iever played on anyone was on April Fools Day ... I had our secretaryleave a phone message for a co worker for him to call Myra Mains, and Ileft a phone number. The number was to one of our local funeral homes.
Think about it.
Far and away, though, the best practical joke I've ever seen played onanybody was unleashed¹ on me – and to this day, I don't know who it was.
My 40th birthday was on a Saturday, and, while I anticipated thepossibility of some sort of surprise, the one I received was so good Iwas honored to be its recipient².
On the Tuesday before my birthday, I received a letter from Playboymagazine thanking me for my subscription³, and, as soon as I sent themmy check for $58, they'd be happy to mail me the first issue. Iassumed this was just a marketing⁴ ploy⁵ and threw the letter out.
The next day I received a large packet of literature from a bank inNorth Carolina, showing me all of their retirement⁶ and investmentoptions. I still didn't see the pattern going here, so I also threwthis package away.
Thursday's mail brought a very official snap off letter addressed fromsome branch of the federal government ... you know the type - you haveto tear off both ends before opening. When I opened it, I discoveredthat it was actually for my family ... explaining to them the benefitsthey would receive upon my death. Now I knew something fishy⁷ was goingon.
The day before my birthday brought a package from an investment firmshowing me, among other things, ways that I could retire in ten years.
This was getting interesting.
Saturday, my 40th birthday, came. By now, not only was I anticipatingthe delights of a birthday, I was anxious for the mail to come and seewhat my practical joke bandit sent.
I should say that, once I figured out that I was being had, I toldeverybody I knew about it. It was a good joke, and I wanted whoeverwas responsible to know that ... and, I kinda wanted them to fess up.
The mail came ... only this time the front screen door was opened andshut – meaning the postman had left a package too big to fit in themailbox. Oh, goody! A present!
Opening the door and expecting to find a gift, I was surprised to find alarge, clear plastic covered, cardboard treasure chest ... 12” by 16”
and 4” deep. It weighed 10 pounds. Upon opening, I discovered thetreasure chest filled to the brim with color glossy⁸ advertisements fora retirement village in Florida. The package also included a videotape extolling⁹ the virtues¹⁰ of the village.
The practical joke bandit struck again ... this time with a vengeance¹¹.
And then ... nothing happened. I told everybody I knew about the jokeplayed on me, and no one admitted being the bandit.
If I had played a joke this good on someone, I'd be bragging¹² about itfor years.
I decided¹³ to do a little detective work. I called Playboy magazine andtold them the story. I asked them if they had a copy of a subscriptionapplication ... a card or a letter that someone would have sent in.
Turns out they did. They mailed it to me. I opened the envelope andthere was a small, square card, the kind you pull out of a magazine,fill out and mail in. In large block letters was my name and address.
Very neat printing ... and quite impossible to recognize.
So, I was had.
A few years later, I got another package from that retirement village inFlorida. It seems that every few years they send additional literatureout to everyone on their mailing list. I called them up and explainedto them that, at the time, I had been a victim of a practical joke; Ihadn't really requested any literature from them, and they didn't haveto waste it on me since I was still in my early 40s. I was asked “doyou plan on retiring some day?"Of course, I said yes, so I was toldthat they'd like to keep me on their mailing list and provide me withtheir that information.
So, every few years I receive a package that reminds me that I was thebutt of the best practical joke I ever saw, and I still don't know whoit was.　　

1 unleashed   

v.把（感情、力量等）释放出来，发泄( unleash的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The government's proposals unleashed a storm of protest in the press. 政府的提案引发了新闻界的抗议浪潮。
• The full force of his rage was unleashed against me. 他把所有的怒气都发泄在我身上。 来自《简明英汉词典》

2 recipient   

a.接受的,感受性强的 n.接受者,感受者,容器

参考例句：

• Please check that you have a valid email certificate for each recipient. 请检查是否对每个接收者都有有效的电子邮件证书。
• Colombia is the biggest U . S aid recipient in Latin America. 哥伦比亚是美国在拉丁美洲最大的援助对象。

3 subscription   

n.预订，预订费，亲笔签名，调配法，下标（处方）

参考例句：

• We paid a subscription of 5 pounds yearly.我们按年度缴纳5英镑的订阅费。
• Subscription selling bloomed splendidly.订阅销售量激增。

4 marketing   

n.行销，在市场的买卖，买东西

参考例句：

• They are developing marketing network.他们正在发展销售网络。
• He often goes marketing.他经常去市场做生意。

5 ploy   

n.花招，手段

参考例句：

• I think this is just a government ploy to deceive the public.我认为这只是政府欺骗公众的手段。
• Christmas should be a time of excitement and wonder,not a cynical marketing ploy.圣诞节应该是兴奋和美妙的时刻，而不该是一种肆无忌惮的营销策略。

6 retirement   

n.退休，退职

参考例句：

• She wanted to enjoy her retirement without being beset by financial worries.她想享受退休生活而不必为金钱担忧。
• I have to put everything away for my retirement.我必须把一切都积蓄起来以便退休后用。

7 fishy   

adj. 值得怀疑的

参考例句：

• It all sounds very fishy to me.所有这些在我听起来都很可疑。
• There was definitely something fishy going on.肯定当时有可疑的事情在进行中。

8 glossy   

adj.平滑的；有光泽的

参考例句：

• I like these glossy spots.我喜欢这些闪闪发光的花点。
• She had glossy black hair.她长着乌黑发亮的头发。

9 extolling   

v.赞美( extoll的现在分词 )；赞颂，赞扬，赞美( extol的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• He never stops extolling the virtues of the free market. 他不停地颂扬自由市场的种种好处。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• They kept extolling my managerial skills. 他们不停地赞美我的管理技能。 来自辞典例句

10 virtues   

美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处

参考例句：

• Doctors often extol the virtues of eating less fat. 医生常常宣扬少吃脂肪的好处。
• She delivered a homily on the virtues of family life. 她进行了一场家庭生活美德方面的说教。

11 vengeance   

n.报复，报仇，复仇

参考例句：

• He swore vengeance against the men who murdered his father.他发誓要向那些杀害他父亲的人报仇。
• For years he brooded vengeance.多年来他一直在盘算报仇。

12 bragging   

v.自夸，吹嘘( brag的现在分词 )；大话

参考例句：

• He's always bragging about his prowess as a cricketer. 他总是吹嘘自己板球水平高超。 来自辞典例句
• Now you're bragging, darling. You know you don't need to brag. 这就是夸口，亲爱的。你明知道你不必吹。 来自辞典例句

13 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。