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(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
Chapter 8 - Pierre seeks advice from Joseph Alexéevich
Again Pierre was overtaken by the depression he so dreaded1. For three days after the delivery of his speech at the lodge2 he lay on a sofa at home receiving no one and going nowhere.
It was just then that he received a letter from his wife, who implored3 him to see her, telling him how grieved she was about him and how she wished to devote her whole life to him.
At the end of the letter she informed him that in a few days she would return to Petersburg from abroad.
Following this letter one of the Masonic Brothers whom Pierre respected less than the others forced his way in to see him and, turning the conversation upon Pierre’s matrimonial affairs, by way of fraternal advice expressed the opinion that his severity to his wife was wrong and that he was neglecting one of the first rules of Freemasonry by not forgiving the penitent4.
At the same time his mother-in-law, Prince Vasili’s wife, sent to him imploring5 him to come if only for a few minutes to discuss a most important matter. Pierre saw that there was a conspiracy6 against him and that they wanted to reunite him with his wife, and in the mood he then was, this was not even unpleasant to him. Nothing mattered to him. Nothing in life seemed to him of much importance, and under the influence of the depression that possessed7 him he valued neither his liberty nor his resolution to punish his wife.
“No one is right and no one is to blame; so she too is not to blame,” he thought.
If he did not at once give his consent to a reunion with his wife, it was only because in his state of depression he did not feel able to take any step. Had his wife come to him, he would not have turned her away. Compared to what preoccupied8 him, was it not a matter of indifference9 whether he lived with his wife or not?
Without replying either to his wife or his mother-in-law, Pierre late one night prepared for a journey and started for Moscow to see Joseph Alexeevich. This is what he noted10 in his diary:
Moscow, 17th November
I have just returned from my benefactor11, and hasten to write down what I have experienced. Joseph Alexeevich is living poorly and has for three years been suffering from a painful disease of the bladder. No one has ever heard him utter a groan12 or a word of complaint. From morning till late at night, except when he eats his very plain food, he is working at science. He received me graciously and made me sit down on the bed on which he lay. I made the sign of the Knights13 of the East and of Jerusalem, and he responded in the same manner, asking me with a mild smile what I had learned and gained in the Prussian and Scottish lodges14. I told him everything as best I could, and told him what I had proposed to our Petersburg lodge, of the bad reception I had encountered, and of my rupture15 with the Brothers. Joseph Alexeevich, having remained silent and thoughtful for a good while, told me his view of the matter, which at once lit up for me my whole past and the future path I should follow. He surprised me by asking whether I remembered the threefold aim of the order: (1) The preservation16 and study of the mystery. (2) The purification and reformation of oneself for its reception, and (3) The improvement of the human race by striving for such purification. Which is the principal aim of these three? Certainly self-reformation and self-purification. Only to this aim can we always strive independently of circumstances. But at the same time just this aim demands the greatest efforts of us; and so, led astray by pride, losing sight of this aim, we occupy ourselves either with the mystery which in our impurity17 we are unworthy to receive, or seek the reformation of the human race while ourselves setting an example of baseness and profligacy18. Illuminism is not a pure doctrine19, just because it is attracted by social activity and puffed20 up by pride. On this ground Joseph Alexeevich condemned21 my speech and my whole activity, and in the depth of my soul I agreed with him. Talking of my family affairs he said to me, “the chief duty of a true Mason, as I have told you, lies in perfecting himself. We often think that by removing all the difficulties of our life we shall more quickly reach our aim, but on the contrary, my dear sir, it is only in the midst of worldly cares that we can attain22 our three chief aims: (1) Self-knowledge — for man can only know himself by comparison, (2) Self-perfecting, which can only be attained23 by conflict, and (3) The attainment24 of the chief virtue25 — love of death. Only the vicissitudes26 of life can show us its vanity and develop our innate27 love of death or of rebirth to a new life.” These words are all the more remarkable28 because, in spite of his great physical sufferings, Joseph Alexeevich is never weary of life though he loves death, for which — in spite of the purity and loftiness of his inner man — he does not yet feel himself sufficiently29 prepared. My benefactor then explained to me fully30 the meaning of the Great Square of creation and pointed31 out to me that the numbers three and seven are the basis of everything. He advised me not to avoid intercourse32 with the Petersburg Brothers, but to take up only second-grade posts in the lodge, to try, while diverting the Brothers from pride, to turn them toward the true path self-knowledge and self-perfecting. Besides this he advised me for myself personally above all to keep a watch over myself, and to that end he gave me a notebook, the one I am now writing in and in which I will in future note down all my actions.
Petersburg, 23rd November
I am again living with my wife. My mother-in-law came to me in tears and said that Helene was here and that she implored me to hear her; that she was innocent and unhappy at my desertion, and much more. I knew that if I once let myself see her I should not have strength to go on refusing what she wanted. In my perplexity I did not know whose aid and advice to seek. Had my benefactor been here he would have told me what to do. I went to my room and reread Joseph Alexeevich’s letters and recalled my conversations with him, and deduced from it all that I ought not to refuse a suppliant33, and ought to reach a helping34 hand to everyone — especially to one so closely bound to me — and that I must bear my cross. But if I forgive her for the sake of doing right, then let union with her have only a spiritual aim. That is what I decided35, and what I wrote to Joseph Alexeevich. I told my wife that I begged her to forget the past, to forgive me whatever wrong I may have done her, and that I had nothing to forgive. It gave me joy to tell her this. She need not know how hard it was for me to see her again. I have settled on the upper floor of this big house and am experiencing a happy feeling of regeneration.
点击收听单词发音
1 dreaded | |
adj.令人畏惧的;害怕的v.害怕,恐惧,担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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2 lodge | |
v.临时住宿,寄宿,寄存,容纳;n.传达室,小旅馆 | |
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3 implored | |
恳求或乞求(某人)( implore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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4 penitent | |
adj.后悔的;n.后悔者;忏悔者 | |
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5 imploring | |
恳求的,哀求的 | |
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6 conspiracy | |
n.阴谋,密谋,共谋 | |
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7 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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8 preoccupied | |
adj.全神贯注的,入神的;被抢先占有的;心事重重的v.占据(某人)思想,使对…全神贯注,使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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9 indifference | |
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎 | |
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10 noted | |
adj.著名的,知名的 | |
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11 benefactor | |
n. 恩人,行善的人,捐助人 | |
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12 groan | |
vi./n.呻吟,抱怨;(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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13 knights | |
骑士; (中古时代的)武士( knight的名词复数 ); 骑士; 爵士; (国际象棋中)马 | |
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14 lodges | |
v.存放( lodge的第三人称单数 );暂住;埋入;(权利、权威等)归属 | |
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15 rupture | |
n.破裂;(关系的)决裂;v.(使)破裂 | |
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16 preservation | |
n.保护,维护,保存,保留,保持 | |
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17 impurity | |
n.不洁,不纯,杂质 | |
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18 profligacy | |
n.放荡,不检点,肆意挥霍 | |
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19 doctrine | |
n.教义;主义;学说 | |
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20 puffed | |
adj.疏松的v.使喷出( puff的过去式和过去分词 );喷着汽(或烟)移动;吹嘘;吹捧 | |
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21 condemned | |
adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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22 attain | |
vt.达到,获得,完成 | |
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23 attained | |
(通常经过努力)实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况) | |
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24 attainment | |
n.达到,到达;[常pl.]成就,造诣 | |
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25 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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26 vicissitudes | |
n.变迁,世事变化;变迁兴衰( vicissitude的名词复数 );盛衰兴废 | |
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27 innate | |
adj.天生的,固有的,天赋的 | |
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28 remarkable | |
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的 | |
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29 sufficiently | |
adv.足够地,充分地 | |
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30 fully | |
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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31 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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32 intercourse | |
n.性交;交流,交往,交际 | |
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33 suppliant | |
adj.哀恳的;n.恳求者,哀求者 | |
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34 helping | |
n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的,辅助的 | |
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35 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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