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(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
Pride and Prejudice
by Jane Austen
Chapter 36
If Elizabeth, when Mr. Darcy gave her the letter, did not expect it to contain a renewal1 of his offers, she had formed no expectation at all of its contents. But such as they were, it may well be supposed how eagerly she went through them, and what a contrariety of emotion they excited. Her feelings as she read were scarcely to be defined. With amazement2 did she first understand that he believed any apology to be in his power; and steadfastly3 was she persuaded, that he could have no explanation to give, which a just sense of shame would not conceal4. With a strong prejudice against everything he might say, she began his account of what had happened at Netherfield. She read with an eagerness which hardly left her power of comprehension, and from impatience5 of knowing what the next sentence might bring, was incapable6 of attending to the sense of the one before her eyes. His belief of her sister's insensibility she instantly resolved to be false; and his account of the real, the worst objections to the match, made her too angry to have any wish of doing him justice. He expressed no regret for what he had done which satisfied her; his style was not penitent7, but haughty8. It was all pride and insolence9.
But when this subject was succeeded by his account of Mr. Wickham—when she read with somewhat clearer attention a relation of events which, if true, must overthrow10 every cherished opinion of his worth, and which bore so alarming an affinity11 to his own history of himself—her feelings were yet more acutely painful and more difficult of definition. Astonishment12, apprehension13, and even horror, oppressed her. She wished to discredit14 it entirely15, repeatedly exclaiming, "This must be false! This cannot be! This must be the grossest falsehood!"—and when she had gone through the whole letter, though scarcely knowing anything of the last page or two, put it hastily away, protesting that she would not regard it, that she would never look in it again.
In this perturbed16 state of mind, with thoughts that could rest on nothing, she walked on; but it would not do; in half a minute the letter was unfolded again, and collecting herself as well as she could, she again began the mortifying17 perusal18 of all that related to Wickham, and commanded herself so far as to examine the meaning of every sentence. The account of his connection with the Pemberley family was exactly what he had related himself; and the kindness of the late Mr. Darcy, though she had not before known its extent, agreed equally well with his own words. So far each recital19 confirmed the other; but when she came to the will, the difference was great. What Wickham had said of the living was fresh in her memory, and as she recalled his very words, it was impossible not to feel that there was gross duplicity on one side or the other; and, for a few moments, she flattered herself that her wishes did not err20. But when she read and re-read with the closest attention, the particulars immediately following of Wickham's resigning all pretensions21 to the living, of his receiving in lieu so considerable a sum as three thousand pounds, again was she forced to hesitate. She put down the letter, weighed every circumstance with what she meant to be impartiality—deliberated on the probability of each statement—but with little success. On both sides it was only assertion. Again she read on; but every line proved more clearly that the affair, which she had believed it impossible that any contrivance could so represent as to render Mr. Darcy's conduct in it less than infamous22, was capable of a turn which must make him entirely blameless throughout the whole.
The extravagance and general profligacy23 which he scrupled24 not to lay at Mr. Wickham's charge, exceedingly shocked her; the more so, as she could bring no proof of its injustice25. She had never heard of him before his entrance into the ——shire Militia26, in which he had engaged at the persuasion27 of the young man who, on meeting him accidentally in town, had there renewed a slight acquaintance. Of his former way of life nothing had been known in Hertfordshire but what he told himself. As to his real character, had information been in her power, she had never felt a wish of inquiring. His countenance28, voice, and manner had established him at once in the possession of every virtue29. She tried to recollect30 some instance of goodness, some distinguished31 trait of integrity or benevolence32, that might rescue him from the attacks of Mr. Darcy; or at least, by the predominance of virtue, atone33 for those casual errors under which she would endeavour to class what Mr. Darcy had described as the idleness and vice34 of many years' continuance. But no such recollection befriended her. She could see him instantly before her, in every charm of air and address; but she could remember no more substantial good than the general approbation35 of the neighbourhood, and the regard which his social powers had gained him in the mess. After pausing on this point a considerable while, she once more continued to read. But, alas36! the story which followed, of his designs on Miss Darcy, received some confirmation37 from what had passed between Colonel Fitzwilliam and herself only the morning before; and at last she was referred for the truth of every particular to Colonel Fitzwilliam himself—from whom she had previously38 received the information of his near concern in all his cousin's affairs, and whose character she had no reason to question. At one time she had almost resolved on applying to him, but the idea was checked by the awkwardness of the application, and at length wholly banished39 by the conviction that Mr. Darcy would never have hazarded such a proposal, if he had not been well assured of his cousin's corroboration40.
She perfectly41 remembered everything that had passed in conversation between Wickham and herself, in their first evening at Mr. Phillips's. Many of his expressions were still fresh in her memory. She was now struck with the impropriety of such communications to a stranger, and wondered it had escaped her before. She saw the indelicacy of putting himself forward as he had done, and the inconsistency of his professions with his conduct. She remembered that he had boasted of having no fear of seeing Mr. Darcy—that Mr. Darcy might leave the country, but that he should stand his ground; yet he had avoided the Netherfield ball the very next week. She remembered also that, till the Netherfield family had quitted the country, he had told his story to no one but herself; but that after their removal it had been everywhere discussed; that he had then no reserves, no scruples42 in sinking Mr. Darcy's character, though he had assured her that respect for the father would always prevent his exposing the son.
How differently did everything now appear in which he was concerned! His attentions to Miss King were now the consequence of views solely43 and hatefully mercenary; and the mediocrity of her fortune proved no longer the moderation of his wishes, but his eagerness to grasp at anything. His behaviour to herself could now have had no tolerable motive44; he had either been deceived with regard to her fortune, or had been gratifying his vanity by encouraging the preference which she believed she had most incautiously shown. Every lingering struggle in his favour grew fainter and fainter; and in farther justification45 of Mr. Darcy, she could not but allow that Mr. Bingley, when questioned by Jane, had long ago asserted his blamelessness in the affair; that proud and repulsive46 as were his manners, she had never, in the whole course of their acquaintance—an acquaintance which had latterly brought them much together, and given her a sort of intimacy47 with his ways—seen anything that betrayed him to be unprincipled or unjust—anything that spoke48 him of irreligious or immoral49 habits; that among his own connections he was esteemed50 and valued—that even Wickham had allowed him merit as a brother, and that she had often heard him speak so affectionately of his sister as to prove him capable of some amiable51 feeling; that had his actions been what Mr. Wickham represented them, so gross a violation52 of everything right could hardly have been concealed53 from the world; and that friendship between a person capable of it, and such an amiable man as Mr. Bingley, was incomprehensible.
She grew absolutely ashamed of herself. Of neither Darcy nor Wickham could she think without feeling she had been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd.
"How despicably I have acted!" she cried; "I, who have prided myself on my discernment! I, who have valued myself on my abilities! who have often disdained54 the generous candour of my sister, and gratified my vanity in useless or blameable mistrust! How humiliating is this discovery! Yet, how just a humiliation55! Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind! But vanity, not love, has been my folly56. Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself."
From herself to Jane—from Jane to Bingley, her thoughts were in a line which soon brought to her recollection that Mr. Darcy's explanation there had appeared very insufficient57, and she read it again. Widely different was the effect of a second perusal. How could she deny that credit to his assertions in one instance, which she had been obliged to give in the other? He declared himself to be totally unsuspicious of her sister's attachment58; and she could not help remembering what Charlotte's opinion had always been. Neither could she deny the justice of his description of Jane. She felt that Jane's feelings, though fervent59, were little displayed, and that there was a constant complacency in her air and manner not often united with great sensibility.
When she came to that part of the letter in which her family were mentioned in terms of such mortifying, yet merited reproach, her sense of shame was severe. The justice of the charge struck her too forcibly for denial, and the circumstances to which he particularly alluded60 as having passed at the Netherfield ball, and as confirming all his first disapprobation, could not have made a stronger impression on his mind than on hers.
The compliment to herself and her sister was not unfelt. It soothed61, but it could not console her for the contempt which had thus been self-attracted by the rest of her family; and as she considered that Jane's disappointment had in fact been the work of her nearest relations, and reflected how materially the credit of both must be hurt by such impropriety of conduct, she felt depressed62 beyond anything she had ever known before.
After wandering along the lane for two hours, giving way to every variety of thought—re-considering events, determining probabilities, and reconciling herself, as well as she could, to a change so sudden and so important, fatigue63, and a recollection of her long absence, made her at length return home; and she entered the house with the wish of appearing cheerful as usual, and the resolution of repressing such reflections as must make her unfit for conversation.
She was immediately told that the two gentlemen from Rosings had each called during her absence; Mr. Darcy, only for a few minutes, to take leave—but that Colonel Fitzwilliam had been sitting with them at least an hour, hoping for her return, and almost resolving to walk after her till she could be found. Elizabeth could but just affect concern in missing him; she really rejoiced at it. Colonel Fitzwilliam was no longer an object; she could think only of her letter.
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1
renewal
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| adj.(契约)延期，续订，更新，复活，重来 | |
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2
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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steadfastly
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| adv.踏实地，不变地；岿然；坚定不渝 | |
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4
conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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7
penitent
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| adj.后悔的；n.后悔者；忏悔者 | |
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8
haughty
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| adj.傲慢的，高傲的 | |
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9
insolence
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| n.傲慢；无礼；厚颜；傲慢的态度 | |
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10
overthrow
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| v.推翻，打倒，颠覆；n.推翻，瓦解，颠覆 | |
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11
affinity
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| n.亲和力，密切关系 | |
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12
astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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13
apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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14
discredit
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| vt.使不可置信；n.丧失信义；不信，怀疑 | |
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15
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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16
perturbed
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| adj.烦燥不安的v.使（某人）烦恼，不安( perturb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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17
mortifying
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| adj.抑制的，苦修的v.使受辱( mortify的现在分词 )；伤害（人的感情）；克制；抑制（肉体、情感等） | |
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18
perusal
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| n.细读，熟读；目测 | |
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19
recital
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| n.朗诵，独奏会，独唱会 | |
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20
err
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| vi.犯错误，出差错 | |
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21
pretensions
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| 自称( pretension的名词复数 )； 自命不凡； 要求； 权力 | |
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22
infamous
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| adj.声名狼藉的，臭名昭著的，邪恶的 | |
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23
profligacy
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| n.放荡，不检点，肆意挥霍 | |
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24
scrupled
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| v.感到于心不安，有顾忌( scruple的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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25
injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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26
militia
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| n.民兵，民兵组织 | |
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27
persuasion
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| n.劝说；说服；持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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28
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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29
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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30
recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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31
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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32
benevolence
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| n.慈悲，捐助 | |
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33
atone
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| v.赎罪，补偿 | |
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34
vice
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| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
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35
approbation
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| n.称赞；认可 | |
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36
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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37
confirmation
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| n.证实，确认，批准 | |
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38
previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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39
banished
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| v.放逐，驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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40
corroboration
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| n.进一步的证实，进一步的证据 | |
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41
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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42
scruples
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| n.良心上的不安( scruple的名词复数 )；顾虑，顾忌v.感到于心不安，有顾忌( scruple的第三人称单数 ) | |
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43
solely
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| adv.仅仅，唯一地 | |
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44
motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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45
justification
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| n.正当的理由；辩解的理由 | |
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46
repulsive
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| adj.排斥的，使人反感的 | |
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47
intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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48
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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49
immoral
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| adj.不道德的，淫荡的，荒淫的，有伤风化的 | |
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50
esteemed
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| adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 )；敬重；认为；以为 | |
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51
amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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52
violation
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| n.违反(行为)，违背(行为)，侵犯 | |
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53
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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54
disdained
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| 鄙视( disdain的过去式和过去分词 )； 不屑于做，不愿意做 | |
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55
humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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56
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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57
insufficient
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| adj.(for，of)不足的，不够的 | |
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58
attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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fervent
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| adj.热的，热烈的，热情的 | |
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60
alluded
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| 提及，暗指( allude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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61
soothed
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| v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 )；抚慰；使舒服；减轻痛苦 | |
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62
depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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